


Out of Joint

by ZollnerIllusion



Series: Out of Joint [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Death, F/M, Love, Mystery, Pete's World, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-06 08:31:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 69,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12207567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZollnerIllusion/pseuds/ZollnerIllusion
Summary: The Twelfth Doctor encounters a mysterious anomaly that threatens the stability of two universes. While investigating, he runs into Rose Tyler. How will he react after a thousand years apart?Edited/cleaned up version of story originally posted to fanfiction.net & whofic.com.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**This story takes place after "Hell Bent" in Series 9.** _

It was such a tiny blip, the smallest of anomalies on the TARDIS’s scanners. Small though it was, it bothered the Doctor as he paced around the console room, repeatedly analyzing all of the readings. He should have had an answer by now, but he had a hard time focusing. There was something distracting him, like a song he couldn’t identify, returning to nag him time after time.

Lately, it had felt as though something was missing from his life. It was not a feeling that he had often, and it left him restless, and even more callous than his current incarnation usually was. It started at Trenzalore. No, before Trenzalore. After Amy and Rory had left? He had traveled alone for a long time, then. It was unusual for him to have lived with only himself for company for so long. Perhaps that’s why he was so impatient with everyone. That answer didn’t feel honest. He didn’t know what he was missing. And his memories of Amy and Rory were a lifetime ago.

He felt a hum in the railing he was clutching as the TARDIS brought his attention back to the task at hand. The TARDIS had brought him here, and it wanted something from him. He had been in the desert and he didn’t have a destination in mind, so he’d suggested a random point in space and time. But like so many other occasions, the random location turned out to have something off about it, something to be investigated. He glared for a moment at the console.

“I know you’re up to something!” he yelled into the air.

Regardless of how he felt about the TARDIS’s intentions, there were still those strange scanner readings to be investigated. That mysterious blip. And there was no sense hiding in this box all day. Time to see if anything could be spotted.

The doors to the TARDIS opened into an alley. London. He didn’t know how he knew. Something about the smell, or maybe the taste of the stone. Or maybe because it seemed like it was always London. He pulled out his screwdriver. The sunglasses would be handy right about now, but the screwdriver felt right in his hand. It fit. He flipped it on and switched it to the setting he was looking for. Spatial distortions. 

An alley cat startled at the high pitched whirring sound, then meowed loudly. He glared at it from beneath his shaggy eyebrows.

“What are you looking at?” he said. The cat slunk away, chagrined.

That was satisfying. Now, back to the anomaly. It was right… about… here. At chest height. Tiny, about the size of his pinkie. He prodded it slightly with his finger. Cold. This was it.

The Doctor pondered. The readings he was getting were strange. He needed to figure out what was going on, or if there was a problem at all. Twisting a knob on the screwdriver, he aimed it at the anomaly, probing for what was on the other side. That was odd. There was something there, something physical. He adjusted the magnetic pull of the screwdriver, taking a moment to thank himself for the brilliant additions he'd made to it. There was definitely something on the other side, and he used the screwdriver like a master fisherman, reeling it in. It was closer, closer. The anomaly was warping now, changing as something came through it. He felt himself physically pulling on the screwdriver, even though all the force should be projected by the screwdriver itself. With a hard yank, he pulled the object the last of the way through into the alley.

He staggered backward as he heard a metallic clatter. There was no pull now, and he turned off the screwdriver and pocketed it. Looking around, it seemed like nothing in the alley had changed. He paused for a moment to think. Something was different. It was like playing one of those children’s games with the pictures. What had changed? Anomaly? Still there. Cat? Hissing now, but still nearby. Trash bins? Yep. Wait. New trash. Something on the ground. There had been nothing in front of that bin before, and now there was an aluminum can lying on its side.

He picked it up. It felt oddly cold in his hand. This must be it. It was dayglow green, with a design of patterned dots on it. There was a list of far too many ingredients. 

“Really, who would drink this?” he muttered.

The tab had been popped already, and it was empty. He turned the can around to examine it, and felt an odd clench in his hearts as he stared at it. Written on the side in large pink letters was one word. ‘VITEX’.


	2. Chapter 2

The Doctor stared at the green can in his hand as if it were a bomb. 

“No,” he whispered softly to himself. “This is bad. Very bad.” His hand tightened on the can, crumpling it. 

He turned abruptly, and rushed back into the TARDIS. Setting the can down atop the console, he settled into the seat nearby and stared at the green cylinder.

“It’s times like this that I miss having…” he paused a moment, his brow furrowed. “…someone to talk to.” But he felt sure he had been going to say a name, not just ‘someone.’ He had no idea who that could be. Sarah Jane? Romana? Amy? None of these seemed right, not even the one name he was deliberately avoiding thinking about.

Realizing he was getting distracted again, he began to talk aloud. It always helped him to talk things out, even if no one seemed to be listening. He imagined, for a moment, that there was someone nearby, looking at him expectantly. Teasing him about his ego, but still clearly hanging on his every word. Young, blonde… he shook his head. That way madness lies. Instead, he changed the blonde hair to brunette, large dark eyes, short hair swept behind her ear. That would do. For some reason, her face was blurred, as though it had been an image on television, adjusted for anonymity. Still, there was a curious comfort in the vaguely defined image.

“Okay, let’s think this through.” He addressed the brunette, gesturing to illustrate his points. “A teeny tiny hole in reality. And we all know what a teeny tiny hole in reality will do.”

The brunette looked at him blankly for a moment. He rolled his eyes. “Tear a hole in the universe and drop this planet into the Void, of course.” 

The brunette looked annoyed. “Okay, but you said this was only a teeny tiny hole.”

He looked at her as though she had dribbled on her shirt. “Look, reality is like… like… a jumper. A big, ugly knitted jumper. But it’s old, and what happens when a knitted jumper has a teeny tiny hole in it?”

The brunette answered cheerily, “It starts to unravel!”

“That was a _rhetorical_ question,” he muttered. “So now we have a hole, and it’s going to get bigger. And that’s going to be a problem. But what made the hole, or better yet, who?”

The brunette smiled knowingly. “Well, who made the hole last time?”

The Doctor shrugged. “Daleks… Cybermen... and others. Well, never mind. You don’t know about last time, I never told you about that.” He looked up, and the brunette had gone.

He shrugged off the disquieting feeling the conversation had left, and examined the readings on the TARDIS scanner. The anomaly was plain to see now. He suspected it had grown a little just by pulling the can through. What was interesting was looking at the waves of distortion. Outward, always outward. As though it had only ever emerged in this world. And that meant that the anomaly had come from elsewhere. He picked up the can and sighed. Pete’s World, with its billionaire inventor of the Vitex ‘health drink’ was the last place he wanted to go.

What else could he do? And yet, he found himself contemplating running away. Traveling the universe, this universe. Going anywhere else, anywhen else. Taking a deep breath, he consciously slowed the beating of his hearts. He was a new man now, two times over. In a real and significant way, he wasn’t even the person who had traveled to that world and had left her there. That had been what, over a thousand years ago? He had been avoiding thinking about it for that long. 

What are memories, when you’re over 2000 years old? The human brain, so much more fragile, breaks down, flushing extraneous memories to make room for new ones. Thanks to his additional brain lobe, he had been able to more effectively manage his memories. Time Lord meditation techniques had also allowed him to efficiently sort them, so that he had been able to retain access to all the memories he cared to keep. Others, he chose to remove. Sometimes because they were simply unnecessary. Other times, because he no longer wished to have them.

In general, the Doctor did not like removing memories because they haunted them. Even traumatic memories contained pearls of wisdom, and if he lived his life constantly losing emotional touch with his failures, he would never grow. He thought of Ashildr suddenly. Not even a library of her own diaries would let her recall what it felt like to make the mistakes she read about. For a moment, he truly understood why she had become the person she had grown to be.

There were some memories, however, that the Doctor did not wish to remove from his mind, but also did not want to confront on a daily basis. To collect so many painful memories with perfect recollection would have made it impossible to live, much less achieve the things he had. The worst of the horrors of the Time War. Adric’s death. Leaving Susan. Driving away from Jo’s engagement party. His last moments with Donna. So many more. All of them, filed away and locked in a collection of imaginary boxes, carefully shelved in an imaginary mental room. Opened at leisure, in melancholy or self-loathing moments. Not able to sneak up on him and deal a crippling emotional blow at awkward moments, as grief so often aims to do.

Among all those boxes, in that imaginary room, there was one particularly large one. One he rarely even peeked into, better left alone and untouched. As he pictured it, he saw it had collected a thick layer of dust. It had been so long. The time finally seemed right to open it, reach in tentatively and examine its contents. He sat comfortably and closed his eyes, for a brief moment feeling the exhaustion of his age. In his mind’s eye, he picked up the box. It was warm, and covered with a layer of black velvet. Embroidered into the top in beautiful red and gold thread was a single flower, a rose. As he opened it, he breathed in. The box contained the smell of her. Her laugh echoed in his thoughts. He almost shut it then, but drew upon all of the cold distance he had embraced when he began this particular life and continued onward.

Cautiously, like someone stepping through a minefield, he began to reach into the box, pulling out memories one by one to examine. Memories that were his, but made by other men. A blonde girl in a big shop; grabbing her hand and telling her to run. Her teasing smile, tongue between her teeth. Better with two. Saving her life, only to watch herself sacrifice herself for him. Saving her life again, this time sacrificing himself. A kiss that never seemed to end until it did. Becoming a new man, shaped around his love for her. Adventures that never seemed to end until they, too, did. A terrible loss, grieving, trying to find solace in the company of others and finding none sufficed. A return, and a brief, shining burst of hope of regaining their former life. That hope shattered, and a decision made. A gift of a life he could never give her, with and without him. A last glimpse, a conversation while dying. 

He had sealed those memories away, in those moments as he died of the radiation poisoning. He hadn’t forgotten, but they couldn’t hurt him, locked in a velvet box and filed away in a mental room he studiously ignored. And he had been able to move on and embrace his new self, and live a new life. A life he had fully expected to be his last.

The memories didn’t hurt him as much as he had feared. They no longer shone bright and hard, painful to look at. Instead, they were the warm glow of firelight. There was one, though, that was different. Standing on a rocky world, watching the ray-like creatures soaring across the sky.   
“How long are you going to stay with me?”  
“Forever.”  
No, that one still had sharp edges. He put it back in the velvet box, and closed it. That one would remain there for some time. 

_Right, if it has to be done, it has to be done._ He began looking at the scanner and making calculations. The anomaly could be increased in size enough to allow him through, without significantly adding to the immediate risk it already posed. He would have to hurry and seal it though, if he wanted to prevent any permanent damage to either world. He hoped that locating and dealing with the creator of the anomaly would be simple. Pressing a key on the console, a wailing riff from an electric guitar echoed across the room. He smirked and entered the destination, then ran frantically around the console, adjusting a dozen other controls. The TARDIS began its familiar wheezing, and any trepidation he had felt was quickly replaced by the familiar thrill of starting a new adventure.


	3. Chapter 3

The ride through the anomaly was rough. No one had entered through this tear before, and the portal strove to reject the TARDIS. This world was trying to protect itself from further damage, and the TARDIS’s passage was tearing the opening further. The Doctor clung onto the console, adjusting more switches, and periodically banging it with his fist.

“Come on, old girl, you can do this,” he yelled above the sound of vibrating metal. With a final shudder (and a couple of panels bursting into sparks and flame), the ride came to a halt. The Doctor released his white knuckled grip. With a chuckle, he patted the console affectionately, then reached for a fire extinguisher device underneath it. 

The damage to the TARDIS was reparable, but would take a few hours of work. It didn’t bother him; he enjoyed tinkering with the TARDIS. The anomaly nagged at him though, and he decided to put off repairs until after he had checked out the hole further.

He reached for his dark blue coat, intending to throw it on over his usual hoodie. His hand touched something soft, and looking down, he noticed his maroon velvet jacket. While it wasn’t like this version of him to care too much about his clothes, perhaps it would be nice to be dressier for a change. He decided to give no further thought to analyzing his motivations, but instead grabbed the velvet coat, hurried into the wardrobe room, and emerged after a moment wearing a white button up shirt, black waistcoat and trousers, and the coat itself.

On his way out of the wardrobe room, he glanced in the mirror and smiled, running his hands through his hair. _Would she like grey hair?_ The thought popped into his mind before he could stop it. He scowled. This was not something he should be dwelling on. His goal here had nothing to do with seeing her. In fact, it was probably better if he didn’t. He might not even be in the right time period. Who knows? Maybe the anomaly was created in the future. She might not be around anymore. Who was to say they didn’t keep making Vitex for another thousand years? Yes, it was unlikely he would run into anyone he knew.

He pried himself away from the mirror, and hurried to the TARDIS door. That was the resolve he was looking for. Strong, collected, and ready to save the world again. He grinned, feeling pleased with himself. In fact, he was so focused on how he was handling everything, that it took him a moment to realize that it was quite dark. The light on the top of the TARDIS glowed softly, and he saw that he was standing in a small room, or more likely, a large closet. He felt along the door, found the knob, and turned. Locked. A momentary whirr of the screwdriver, a sudden click, and he was out of the closet and in a huge building.

It was dim in here. There were lights on, but further into the room. It was some sort of warehouse, with high, industrial looking ceilings. Metal shelves, rising well above his head, were cemented in place, and covered with scores of similar looking wooden crates. He peered at a box closely, using the screwdriver for light. There was a neat label affixed to every crate with an ID number for each one. Several symbols stamped onto the crates seemed to indicate whether the contents were explosive, toxic… or something else. He had no idea what some of the symbols meant. But he wasn’t focused on that. Instead, he stared at the word stamped in red on every box he saw. In large letters, every stamp read, ‘PROPERTY OF TORCHWOOD’.

_Uh-oh._ Torchwood was sometimes helpful, often an annoyance, and occasionally dangerous, depending on who was calling the shots. And it was time to start seriously considering everything he had studiously avoided thinking about since he had picked up the Vitex can. Rose Tyler. Going through his memories of her that morning had prepared him for this. The girl he lost, and the girl he sent away. With himself. Sort of. Sometimes he wondered if his life was too complicated. _Nah._ He had wanted to keep this simple and avoid her. But Torchwood was where she had worked the first time he left her in this universe, along with her parallel world father. _There it was, getting complicated again._ And if he was in her timeline, there was a decent chance he could run into her here. Or his past self, created from regeneration energy and his own severed hand. The Meta-Crisis version of him. Half-human, a combination of himself and his past companion, Donna Noble. _‘Complicated’ really isn’t sufficient anymore to describe my personal life._ He definitely didn’t want to run into any version of himself, even a half-human one.

It was best to keep this simple. He would just scan the anomaly with his screwdriver, analyze the scans in the TARDIS, repair his ship, and get out of here. Aiming the screwdriver outwards, he slowly turned in a circle, listening to the high pitched whirr as it homed in on the tear in reality. There. Back towards the wall to his left. If he could get close enough, he would get all the readings he needed, and perhaps some clues as to who or what caused the anomaly. But the location was odd. Who would bother tearing reality at the back of a warehouse? 

He raised the screwdriver, shining a light on the area, and saw the shelves stopped just short of the wall, and he could follow that gap toward the anomaly. 

“Hey! Excuse me!” A voice rang out behind him. The Doctor turned and saw an older man in a button up shirt and khakis hurrying toward him, holding a flashlight. He was short, slightly overweight, with a neatly trimmed beard and glasses.

The Doctor turned and put what he thought might be an amiable smile on his face.

“Hello there!” he greeted the man.

“I didn’t see you come in,” the man frowned. “What are you doing in here? Do you have ID?”

The Doctor reached into his pocket and pulled out the small wallet that held his psychic paper, then flashed it at the man. “Oh, well, perhaps you nodded off. I was just looking around. Looking for a, ah, hymetusite crystal. Do you happen to have any of those?”

The man peered over his flashlight at the psychic paper. “Jamie McCrimmon. Looks like you’re a new agent.”

The Doctor briefly wondered why it didn’t say John Smith. Must be the Scottish side of him showing. He smiled. “Yes, first day jitters. I’m terribly nervous,” he said with complete confidence. “Now if you could just go find me a hymetusite crystal… er, what was your name?”

The man stared a moment. “Harold Brown. Archivist.”

The Doctor nodded at him, as patient as one might be with a small child. “Right… Harold. Just find me the crystal, and I’ll be on my way.”

The man frowned. “I seem to recall seeing those in the Archive Log. Hang on, I’ll check.” The man turned and walked away around the corner of the nearest shelves. The Doctor waited a moment before pocketing his screwdriver and following the wall toward the anomaly. He walked by shelf after shelf, vaguely considering checking the warehouse for some parts to fix the TARDIS before he left. According to the screwdriver’s scan, the reality hole should be only about 15 feet ahead. Anxious to see it, he hurried along the wall toward the next set of shelves, and walked with a _thump_ right into someone rounding the corner. Not just someone. A young woman with blonde hair, and a face he could never forget. Rose Tyler, in fact.


	4. Chapter 4

“Oh, sorry! Wasn’t looking where I was going,” she said, looking at him apologetically.

He didn’t answer for a moment. It seemed like only a momentary pause, but it was enough to let him take in the sight of her. Rose Tyler. His Rose. Well, formerly his Rose.

She had aged since he had seen her last. Ten years, he’d guess. She still looked young. And beautiful. _God, she’s beautiful._ But there were changes too. Her eyes looked different. More knowing. A little more tired. She could harden them a lot more than she used to be able to, projecting a stern professional confidence. He could tell that, because that was the look she was giving him right now.

“Ah, my mistake,” he replied. “I’m… Jamie McCrimmon. New agent, first day.” He reached for the psychic paper and paused. There was a good chance she would recognize it. He hoped she would just take his word for it.

“So, Agent… McCrimmon, was it? What are you doing down here?” There was a suspicious tone to her voice, and she was eyeing him in a cool manner. 

“Oh, you know, this and that. The R&D department sent me.” That was a safe bet. Torchwood was bound to have an R&D department, and in his experience, no one ever really knew what was going on in those places.

“And they sent you for…?” She was clearly not taking him at face value. He wondered why. He didn’t think she recognized him. Had these past years made her so cynical? It had only been a decade. He had changed much more than she had.

“Well…” Before he could answer, the archivist hurried up to him, clutching a clipboard. 

“Agent McCrimmon, I’m afraid I have some disappointing news for you. I was able to find in the records that we were indeed storing a container of hymetusite crystals. But when I checked the appropriate location, the crate was empty. I don’t know how this could have happened.” The man looked uncomfortable, and glanced nervously at Rose several times, as though afraid of her reaction. 

To the Doctor’s surprise, her expression softened when she heard the archivist speak. 

“You were looking for something down here, but it’s missing?” she asked.

The Doctor nodded. The archivist hurried to add, “There’s no record of it having been checked out. Mistakes are sometimes made, but in this case…” he trailed off, looking at Rose again.

“That’s all right, Harold. Tell you what, Agent McCrimmon, maybe you can help me with something. A project of mine. You’re working for the R&D department, yeah?”

“Yes… R&D. All that research stuff. Very complicated work. Black holes. Lasers. Alien technology.” He closed his mouth abruptly. He was babbling. This wouldn’t do. 

“I’ll give them a call. I could use your help. And I’m sure they’ll agree.” 

_That wouldn’t be a good idea._ “No need, I can tell them. I left my… phone up in R &D. I’ll just nip up there and grab it, and let them know I’ll be over at your office.” She nodded, and he felt mild relief.

“Great. It’s Core Building, #709… 7th floor. I know it’s a real maze around here, but most people know where my office is.” She smiled at him for the first time since he’d run into her. It wasn’t her flirty, tongue-in-teeth smile that he loved, but he still felt his heartbeats accelerate. She turned and walked away, and he couldn’t take his eyes off her until she was out of sight.

His expression must have been obvious, because he turned to find the archivist grinning at him. 

“I wouldn’t let her know you fancy her, even if she wasn’t half your age. That’s Director Tyler’s daughter.” Harold was still smiling openly.

“I’m sorry, and you’re still here why, exactly?” The Doctor glared at him.

The archivist didn’t lose the smile, but walked away, calling over his shoulder, “Good luck!”

The Doctor watched him go then turned back to his original task. He followed the wall further down until he located the point the screwdriver had identified the anomaly originating from. And there it was. He could feel the temperature drop near it. Bringing the TARDIS through had definitely increased its size. He scanned it with the screwdriver, sending the bulk of the data back to the TARDIS for later analysis.

Pocketing his device, he looked around the immediate area. It was a secluded corner. No one may have noticed the hole in reality being created here, although it seemed a particularly gutsy move to create such a thing within Torchwood, arguably the only organization nearby with the technology to detect it. _Unless it was created by someone within Torchwood. Rose…?_ She had acted so suspiciously when she found him down here, until she thought he had come for a minor errand.

He had originally planned, once she and the archivist left, to return to the TARDIS, repair it, and to analyze the data he had collected. But now he wondered if he shouldn’t investigate Torchwood itself. He could go to Rose’s office as she had requested. Maybe he would learn something. He frowned. Was it a good idea, or was he just rationalizing what he really wanted to do? Before he’d come to a conclusion, he found himself walking toward the front of the warehouse, away from the closet the TARDIS was hidden in. _The anomaly isn’t critical yet. And I can’t leave until I know who created it and if there are more._ The imaginary brunette was leaning against the metal shelving as he passed by.

“Let me know how that works out for you!” She smiled at him with a twinkle in her eye. He chose not to respond.

As he left the warehouse, Harold was sitting at a desk near the entrance. He jerked his thumb toward a tall, non-descript building. “Core Building’s there.” The Doctor gave Harold a penetrating glance and headed in the direction the archivist indicated.

On the outside, the Core Building looked like a plain office that had naturally been built onto an industrial park. It was grey, concrete, had few windows, and looked as though it had been built around 30 years ago. He reached a red metal door which was locked. The panel hidden in the concrete to the side of the door was simple for him to spot, and he used his screwdriver to pop it open, overriding the retinal and fingerprint scanners. The door opened with a click, and he closed the secret panel and entered the building.

Inside, the Core Building was something else entirely. It was built elaborately of glass and steel, in some cases obviously by technology most human builders did not yet possess. The red door had clearly not been the main entrance – there was no lobby to intercept casual visitors here. But he was able to spot plenty of people hurrying about, and this was a busy area. He still didn’t know if his other self was around, so he decided to head for Rose’s office as quickly as possible. 

There was a corridor ahead, and after a few wrong turns, he found a bank of elevators. From there, it was a simple matter to reach the 7th floor.

The door was plain white, and looked just like every other door along the corridor, except for the two plates mounted on it. The first read ‘709’ and the second:

Rose Tyler  
Executive Assistant Director  
Extraterrestrial Investigative Division

Rose seemed to be doing well for herself. He hesitated outside the door, but she must have heard his footsteps, because her muffled voice called “Come in!” through the door. He opened the door, and stepped in. Once inside, he was surprised to find she had a fairly modest office. There was no receptionist. Just a large desk, a few chairs, and several filing cabinets along the wall. There was no art hanging on the walls except a calendar. An assortment of alien artifacts were scattered around the room, along with piles of papers and office supplies. She was not a tidy person when she was working. 

She smiled at him and gestured to one of the chairs opposite her. He smiled and sat down, and froze as he noticed the picture in a wooden frame on her desk. It was a photograph of her and what must be his other self, since he never recalled it being taken. They were smiling and had their arms around each other. Probably at a party, as they were dressed fairly nicely, though he was wearing the trainers he had always donned at that time in his life. _Glad I stopped that, I looked like a bit of an idiot pairing those with a tux._ He felt conflicted as he stared at it for a moment. He was happy for Rose, and happy that things seemed to have worked out after he left. But it left him feeling like a heavy weight had settled on him, and he couldn’t deny some feelings of jealousy too. He hurriedly looked up before she noticed anything amiss. 

Rose smiled politely at him, and asked, “How’s your first day been then?”

“Oh good, good. So what’s this project?” he asked.

Rose nodded, and didn’t seem bothered by his lack of small talk. “A week and a half ago, I was looking for a particular piece of tech in Warehouse C. In the log, it hadn’t been checked out by anyone, but when I went to collect it, the crate it was stored in was empty.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Just like the hymetusite crystals today.”

She nodded. “Right. An’ I thought it was curious ‘cause the archivists are pretty thorough. But Morris - he’s the archivist for Warehouse C – had no idea where it could be. No one else seemed worried ‘bout it, but I just had a funny feeling. So I started looking for more items. And most of them were there. But several were missing.”

“So you’ve a thief on your hands. Why do you need my help? I’m pretty sure I’ve noticed a lot of other agents not doing anything useful around here.” She looked a little surprised at his acerbic tone.

“Well, I don’t know who the thief is… or if there’s more than one. Or what they’ve got planned. I told the Director because I _know_ he’s not in on it.” She leaned forward, clearly excited by the chance to finally talk to someone freely about the investigation. The Doctor found himself feeling a little warm.

“Ah. So you can’t ask anyone else to help or it might alert the thief. Or they might be the thief. But I’m not, because I clearly had no idea that the hymetusite crystals were missing when I asked for them, and because I’ve only been here a day. So, all right, I will.” 

She looked mildly surprised at his logic, and her expression made it clear she was reevaluating his intelligence. “You will what?” she asked.

“I’ll help you. I’ll put aside my work in R&D for a little while until we catch your culprit.” He wondered how much time he had, and how quickly the anomaly would destabilize. He felt suddenly excited at the prospect of spending a few days with her. The brunette was sitting on the filing cabinet on the wall behind Rose. She smirked at him. “Well _that_ was a quick turnaround from being certain you could avoid her,” she remarked.

Rose was smiling at him now, he realized, but it wasn’t a friendly smile. “I should have made it clear, Jamie. I’m reassigning you.” She glanced pointedly down at her nameplate on her desk.

Ah, right. They weren’t on the Tardis and he was supposed to be working for her. He had never liked anyone telling him what to do, in any of his incarnations. But for Rose, for a few days, he’d make an exception. 

He gave her a smile. “Of course. Right, then, let’s get to it.”

She held out her hand to shake his, and he took it. Her fingers were soft and warm, and he felt like an electrical current was running into his palm from her fingertips. Looking down, he noticed she was wearing a wedding ring. A gold band, with a thin ring of a red gemstone running along the center. His other self might not be here right now, but they were clearly married, so he’d have to be very careful not to run into him. 

The brunette laughed, and added, “As careful as you were avoiding Rose today?”


	5. Chapter 5

It didn’t take very long for the Doctor to realize that the connection between the items on Rose’s list was… absolutely nothing. Oh, sometimes two or three items might have something in common: part of a weapon, coming from a young extraterrestrial race, being fuzzy. But there was no obvious link between the majority of the list, much less everything on it. Still, he wasn’t supposed to be able to figure that out quite so quickly, so he tapped away on the laptop Rose had set up on the opposite side of her desk, stealing glances at her as he looked up from under his swooping eyebrows.

By the time that lunch rolled around, he concluded that he was correct in his initial assessment of Rose. She was much more grown up and focused than when she had traveled with him. On one hand, he was impressed by her professional demeanor and ability to juggle any number of tasks that came her way. One moment she was taking a phone call about a ghost-like race that had appeared in Brighton, the next she was drafting a report that compiled several analyses of recovered alien technology. Her phone rang quite often, but she was always prompt, polite and friendly to whoever called. He felt proud of her, and all that she had become.

On the other hand, he missed her spirit. She was so much more serious now. Even on the phone, a smile rarely crossed her face. When she stared at her computer screen, she was completely focused. And even when she asked him once in a while if he was all right, or wanted a coffee, being friendly seemed to be polite behavior, and not a genuine pleasure in another’s company. Well, she didn’t really know “Jamie” yet, but perhaps he could change that. He found himself looking forward to the opportunity.

He was incredibly bored by the time lunch had rolled around. In addition to analyzing all the objects on the list, he had broken into the Torchwood computer system and read some of the employee records for entertainment. Even the brunette had gotten disgusted halfway through the morning and vanished. It was a relief when Rose finally looked up from her computer and smiled at him.

“Made some progress, then?” she asked.

“Er, yes, it’s coming along swimmingly,” he replied.

“Well, how about we knock off for a bit and get some lunch?” She was already standing and stretching. The sight was compelling, but he tried not to make it too obvious that he was staring.

“Yes, absolutely. That sounds fantastic!” He stood and grabbed his coat, shrugging it on.

Rose looked at the coat curiously, as though noticing it for the first time. “You’re dressed… very nicely for work.”

He smiled to himself. “Well, you know, first day. I’ve always believed you should dress to impress.”

Her smile relaxed a little. “Sure, well, come on then.”

He followed her through a maze of corridors and down several flights of stairs. “Never liked taking the elevator after it came alive that one time,” she mentioned. Soon they were out at the street level, and he saw that the Torchwood complex was well disguised as a fish finger manufacturer. His last self would have loved that.

“What kind of food do you want?” she asked him, shivering a little in the cold wind. He resisted putting an arm around her to warm her.

“Ah…. How about something with chips?” he asked. _Stupid, stupid. Not so obvious._

A shadow seemed to pass over her face, and her expression grew more solemn. “Chips. Yeah. Sure. There’s a chippy a couple blocks over.”

She started walking immediately and he hurried after her, concerned by her change in demeanor.

“So, um, Rose. Okay if I call you that?” he asked.

“Only if I can call you Jamie.”

He smiled. There were so many questions he wanted to ask her. _Where is the other version of me? Why hasn’t he made you happier?_

The brunette appeared, striding alongside him. “How about the ones you really want to ask? Come on. Have you missed me all this time? Do you still love me? Those are some good ones.” He glared at her.

Rose was watching him curiously. _Oops._ “Something wrong?” she asked.

“No, ah, I was just remembering an annoying… driver this morning.”

“Must have been some driver.” Her face told him she thought him a bit odd. Time to salvage this conversation.

“So, Rose. If I’m working for you for a bit… um, tell me about yourself. I don’t really know much about you beyond the sign on your door.” 

“Nothing to tell, really. I’ve worked at Torchwood… 10 years now, coming on 11. Better get this part out of the way, you’re bound to hear. My dad, Pete, he’s the Director.” She looked expectantly at him. He wasn’t sure what she was waiting for.

“Ah, I see. Well. He doesn’t seem to have much to do with your success.” He said it sincerely. Watching her this morning had only increased his opinion of her abilities.

She smiled at him. “Thanks. I mean it. Some people didn’t see it that way at first. Took a while to prove myself, but I insisted on working my way up. Started as a low level agent, just bringing in weevils and the odd alien tourist. There have been some… hiccups. But I feel I’ve accomplished a lot.”

He wondered what she meant by hiccups. _With her family, or with Him? Or something else?_

Uh-oh. He’d been silent too long and now she was asking him questions. 

“What about you? Not trying to be rude, but… you’re a bit older than most of the agents we hire. You decide on a change of career?” 

“Yes, something like that. I was investigating some odd phenomenon and… well, it turned out Torchwood was involved, and here I am.” He liked staying close to the truth. He felt like the lies would stick in his throat when he was talking to her.

“Okay, my turn now. So, do you have much family?” He was trying to be as casual as possible. The brunette was still there, grinning at him. “Subtle, Doctor, subtle.”

“Well, my Dad lives with my Mum and my little brother Tony. So they’re pretty close by.”

_Damn! Why won’t she talk about Him? I’ll have to be more direct._ “I noticed the ring… married, too. Have any kids yourself?”

She froze and gave him a considering look, before replying shortly. “No, no kids.”

Well that didn’t tell him much. A stray thought occurred to him. _What if other Me created the anomaly?_ It was a disturbing thought. The other version of him had been reckless and more than a little dangerous. He was capable of it, but why would he do it?

Their arrival at the shop interrupted any further questions. They ordered a couple plates of fish, and he convinced her to split the chips with him. She seemed so hesitant about any personal contact. But he was determined to break down these small barriers, and soon they were nibbling on chips together and he saw one of the first genuine smiles he’d seen since lunch had started.

“Good chips?” he asked.

“Yeah. Chips are… fantastic,” she said.

“So…” She seemed to be struggling to make small talk as much as he had. That wasn’t like Rose; she had always been so friendly to everyone she met. It seemed she had gotten out of practice in the last decade. “What about your family then, Jamie? Have anyone at home?”

He smiled. “No, no… It’s just me.” He felt relieved that his apparent age made this entirely plausible. A bachelor, no siblings, his parents passed on. But there was another awkward silence afterward. He was getting frustrated. _Why was this so damned difficult?_

The brunette watched him, her elbows on the table and eyebrows raised. “So, you’re saying your relationship with Rose was based on awkward conversations, then? No wonder this is going so well.”

He leaped up, and wrapped up his fish in the paper it lay in. “Mind if we take this to go, Rose? I fancy having a walk before we sit in that little office again.”  
Maybe he was projecting, but he thought Rose looked relieved. “Yeah, okay. Let’s do it.” She wrapped up her fish and grabbed a bag from the counter for the chips. They packed up the food and headed back out into the cold wind.  
The air was chill outside, but it felt much more comfortable than the stiff atmosphere in the chippy. They walked a few blocks, and the wind picked up significantly. At first, they ducked into a doorway to avoid it. But as it increased, they found themselves dodging from doorway to doorway between every fresh blast, careening, ducking and rushing past each other in increasingly absurd ways. Rose started laughing, her hair whipping crazily around in the frigid gusts. 

Nearby they found a small graveyard, surrounded by old and crumbling walls. A plaque near the entrance had been so worn away that only every few words were visible. The Doctor reached into his pocket, and unlocked the locked iron gates quickly with the screwdriver without taking it out. He pretended to shake the bars open with his hands. They opened with a squeal of protest.

He grinned at Rose. “Looks like we’re in luck.” They found a tall monument proclaiming the burial of religious exiles from America in the early 1900s. It sharply reminded the Doctor that this was not, in fact, his world. The monument provided comfortable cover from the wind, however, and they took out their fish and thoroughly enjoyed it while the wind howled all around them.

Rose wiped her hands on a paper napkin, then felt her hair. “All this wind, my hair will be a proper bird’s nest by the time we get back.”

He grinned. “Nah, you look fine. More than fine. Wonderful.”

She looked at him, a bit surprised, then grinned slightly tensely. “You’re not flirting with me are you, Agent McCrimmon?”

He waggled his eyebrows. “An old man flirting with the Director’s daughter, who incidentally he’s working for, on his first day? Not if I want to keep my job at Torchwood. I just speak the truth.” She relaxed as he winked in a friendly way, then stood and offered a hand up. “Come on, we can’t hang about in old graveyards all day.”

She grinned, accepted the hand and stood. The wind was still there, but less menacing, and they were able to get back to the office without further incident.

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly. He still had to keep up the pretense of cross referencing the stolen objects. There was no way a human agent could have completed that task in less than a day. Besides, the imaginary busywork left his mind free to wander. It didn’t wander too far, but kept coming back to a single image of Rose on the street, cheeks flushed, hair blowing back from her face, laughing. He stole glances at her periodically. She had brushed her hair after she got back, but the flush still seemed to be there, along with the faint trace of a smile at the edge of her lips.

 

When Rose stood and declared it the end of the day, he was grateful for the chance to get back to the TARDIS. Not that an afternoon spent daydreaming had been unpleasant, but the anxiety he felt about the anomaly had started to creep back in the last hour or two. He told Rose he intended to pursue a lead a little longer, but that he’d see her in the morning. She smiled and wished him a good night, and thanked him for throwing himself so thoroughly into the investigation.

He nodded at her and gave her a warm smile. “I should have some results for you tomorrow.” She accepted that, grabbed her purse and coat and walked out. He vaguely wondered where her apartment was, and took a quick moment to look it up in her personnel file. A flat in a posh part of London. No surprise there, Pete had made enough money from Vitex to furnish her with a dozen fancy flats, plus she had her own salary from Torchwood. And whatever his alternate-self brought home, although he had trouble imagining himself ever concerned with money.

As soon as he was sure she was gone, he locked up her office and hurried out the back door back to Warehouse B where the TARDIS was parked. Harold had left for the day and the warehouse was locked. He quickly used his screwdriver to disable the security cameras until after he passed, reactivating them afterward in case the thief should return. The TARDIS was still parked in its closet, and he hurried inside.

It felt like a million years had passed since that morning when he pulled the Vitex can out of the anomaly. Now he was spending the day and eating chips with Rose Tyler! He smiled again at the memory, and heard a throat clearing sound.

Looking up, he saw the brunette was sitting near the console. 

“Doctor…” He couldn’t see her face, but still had the impression she looked sad. “What are you going to do, Doctor? Take her home? Take her away from yourself? Or her family? How does this have a good ending? You’ll leave here just as alone, but now you’ll be heart-broken too. Don’t do this to yourself. Solve the anomaly, and you can go back to your world. Meet someone to travel with. There are other young women. Or men. Or even metal dogs, if you’re into that sort of thing.”

_Not like Rose Tyler._ He knew the brunette was right, and it made him angry. His eyebrows drew down into a deep scowl. “Well, what do you know?” he snarled at the brunette. “You’re not even real!”

The brunette looked at him steadily. “Why did you choose to be older this time, Doctor?”

He frowned. “There was no one I needed to impress.”

“And has that changed?”

He turned away from the brunette, ending the conversation. Bringing up the readings on the scanner, he sat and studied them for a few minutes. The TARDIS had been able to collect readings over the course of the day, giving a detailed view of the anomaly. The tear was more stable than he had suspected. It didn’t look like it had been created by a natural effect. While it would still ultimately have the same catastrophic results, his projections indicated it could remain stable for as long as several weeks before it widened to a dangerous size. Something like this had probably been created by alien technology. Perhaps one of the stolen devices? Nothing on the list had been capable of punching a hole between dimensions. Looking at the anomaly, he realized that’s exactly what the device sounded like. A dimensional hole punch. And if the anomaly had been created by a machine, had it been made intentionally?

There was still so much he needed to determine before he could leave this universe. It wouldn’t be safe to leave someone running around with an object capable of punching holes in reality. But was it safe to remain here? Only one day spent with Rose, and already he was having trouble imagining leaving her behind. He didn’t have an answer, just an image of a young woman laughing in the wind.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, he was already sitting on his side of Rose’s desk and working when she arrived. She was carrying a tray with two cups of steaming coffee, and a bag with a couple of large, delicious looking almond croissants.

“There’s a really good bakery between my flat and here. They’ve got the best pastries in this part of London,” she commented, handing him a coffee. “I didn’t know what you liked, but there’s cream an’ sugar in the bag.”

He thanked her, and added a couple of creamers to the coffee. As he quietly stirred, he watched Rose surreptitiously. She was still not his beaming, relaxed Rose, but there seemed to be mild improvements since yesterday. Her smiles seemed less of an obligation. Perhaps he had slipped through some of the barrier she had built around herself. _But what use is that?_

As he sipped his coffee and munched on the pastry, he reflected on the anomaly readings. He was certain now that the anomaly had been created intentionally by a device, not a natural occurrence. And he felt confident that Rose was not the one who made it. She showed no indication that she was searching for him in any way. This morning, he had the opportunity to snoop more directly into her personnel file. And while it hadn’t mentioned him at all, even, to his surprise, his alternate self, it also had not listed any projects that were focused on breaking dimensional barriers, with the notable exception of the Dimension Cannon that had brought her to him last time.

He felt he could safely eliminate Rose as a suspect. But he still could not eliminate his metacrisis self. There were no records of him at all with Torchwood, but the picture on Rose’s desk proved that he had spent time with her. Who knows what trouble he could get up to without a day job to occupy him? Or was his work for Torchwood so secret that he was hidden even from its own files?

Mid-morning, he decided it was time to finish his pretense of checking the items that had been stolen. He turned toward her on the opposite side of the desk and sat up straighter.

“Rose,” he said.

She looked up. “You wear that jacket every day?” she asked. Her expression was curious.

“Well, er, yes. Not enough people have a sense of formality at work these days,” he replied.

“Well, it suits you.”

“Does it? I… ah, thank you,” he added. He was caught up in her compliment, and momentarily forgot his train of thought.

“So, what did you need?” She was smiling slightly mischievously now. Perhaps she knew the effect she had on him. 

“Well… I’ve finished examining the list,” he said.

She looked surprised. “That was quick work. And…?”

“Nothing,” he answered.

“Nothing?”

“Yes. There’s absolutely nothing I can find that links these objects. And I have checked quite a few possibilities. So, perhaps we need to start taking other approaches.”

Rose looked at him intently. “I’m all ears, Jamie.”

“Well, maybe this is a bit basic, but did CCTV catch anyone entering and exiting outside of normal hours?” he asked.

Rose nodded. “I looked into that right after I put together the list of missing items. On one hand, the recordings didn’ turn up anything. On the other hand, there were blocks of the recordings deleted.”

“Deleted?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah. An’ at odd intervals. Sometimes at night, sometimes during the day. So no one who was always breakin’ in at the same time.” 

He thought about this. “If some were deleted during the day, then maybe someone went down to the warehouse for a legitimate request, and then removed some additional items while they were there. They might have deleted additional recordings at night to make it seem like it was a break-in.”

She nodded. “It’s possible. Every part of this comes up a little bit odd.”

“Is there any way I can get a list of personnel who have checked out items in the last week and a half? Perhaps we could talk to them, just see if anyone is acting a bit peculiar.”

She smiled. “It’s worth a shot. I’ll give you access to look at the Archive Logs.” She tapped at the computer for a moment then nodded. “All righ’, then. You’re good to go.”

He spent a little while researching, and narrowed the list down to four candidates. A scientist in R&D, some sort of computer technician, and two general agents. He spent the rest of the morning researching them thoroughly, from their personnel files that shouldn’t be available to him, to their social media posts and general life habits. Nothing screamed guilty, but if the thief had any sense, they would be laying low. 

Rose had been busy fielding calls and handling an absurd amount of paperwork, so he waited quite a while to interrupt her. When she finally sat back and relaxed for a moment, he took the opportunity to give her an update.

“There’s four possible people for us to talk to. A research scientist named George Alvey, a computer technician, Susan Kopecky, and two agents, Joshua Roderick and Niall Jing. I’ve done a bit of basic research on them, and there’s nothing unusual, but… you never know.”

Rose nodded thoughtfully. “I know Susan and Josh pretty well. But like you say, you never know. Nevermind… it’s about lunchtime. Let’s go down to the cafeteria an’ grab a bite, yeah? After lunch, we can split up the list and see if it leads to anything.”

The Doctor closed his laptop and smiled. He gestured grandly at the door. “After you, Ms. Tyler.”

She grinned back and left the office, then paused to walk next to him. “The cafeteria is decent, and cheap enough. I usually eat there, except when I’ve got company.”

He raised an eyebrow. “And do you often have company?”

She shook her head. “Nah, I like to eat quickly and get right back at it. Usually grab a sandwich and bring it up to my desk. But since you’ve never been down there, I might as well let you have the whole experience.”

“I look forward to it,” he said dryly. _Eats alone…_ He’d wanted to avoid his other self, but he was tempted by the idea of tracking him down and giving him a good talking to. He wasn’t entirely convinced that he was kidding about that.

They soon reached the cafeteria on the 3rd floor. It was nicer than he expected. A device had been used to project the illusion of exterior windows looking out on various landscapes around Earth. The view changed every few minutes. He stuck close to Rose as she navigated the various lunch options, avoiding the tacos, glancing over the salads. As they reached the beverage area, a young agent holding a tray smoothly moved in between the Doctor and Rose.

The Doctor scowled at the agent, but the young man ignored him. 

“Hey Brian, how’s it going?” Rose asked him. She had a genuine smile on her face, not the polite façade.

The young agent was of moderate height, just taller than Rose, and had immaculate dark hair and piercing blue eyes. He smiled with perfect, straight white teeth. His gaze, in the Doctor’s opinion, rested on Rose just a little too long.

“Hallo, Rose. I was hoping I’d catch you down here today. Want some company for lunch?” His eyes practically twinkled.

“Ah, if you like, Brian. I’ve got Agent McCrimmon with me today. He’s new, working on a project with me. I was just showing him around a bit.”  
Rose idly played with a loose strand of her hair.

Brian turned and glanced back at the Doctor with some interest. “Hello, I’m Brian Parker.” He extended a hand.

The Doctor’s eyebrows had now grown together into a ferocious scowl, but he forced a minimal smile onto his face. He ignored the offered hand.

“So you are.” He noticed that Rose was looking at him with some surprise, so he turned to pour himself some coffee, as though the slight were accidental.

Agent Parker did not seem to take offense. He still had a grin on his face, and lowered his hand to grab his own tray again. “Well, since you have company, I think I see someone wanting to say hello over there.” The Doctor glanced over his shoulder, and there was indeed another agent waving to Brian. “But McCrimmon, if you need anyone to give you the full tour…. show you all the easiest ways to get around here, just look me up. I’d be happy to help out a new agent.” He smiled again at the Doctor with a genuinely friendly expression. The Doctor disliked him even more.

Brian waved, then picked up his tray and moved over to the agent gesturing to him. A few agents joined Brian and headed to a table that was currently looking out at a waterfall. 

The Doctor turned back to look at Rose, and she seemed a little disappointed. 

“Is he always like that?” he demanded.

“Like what?”

“So… friendly.” 

“Oh, yeah, I suppose.” The disappointed expression was quickly covered up behind a pleasant mask again. 

_Damn, two steps forward..._ He picked up his tray with a bright smile and followed her over toward a free table. Did she really like him? Mr. Perfect Teeth? _She’s a married woman!_

It seemed clearer now to him that her marriage with his other self was not working. He found himself disappointed by that. Did that mean things would never have worked out with him either? It made him mildly sick to think of doing it, but it seemed he would have to intervene and patch things back up. He had made the decision to leave her with him, and it wouldn’t be right to finish the job here and abandon her to a failing marriage. He couldn’t imagine how his other self must be reacting either. The metacrisis Doctor was something of a powder keg, or at least he had been when he dropped them off. 

“You’re quiet,” Rose commented.

He would have to win her trust if he were going to fix things for her. “Ah, well, so are you. I’ve just been impressed by this magnificent view!”

She grinned. “At least it’s workin’ today. You should’ve seen it last month. Got stuck on a volcano and wouldn’t go off. No one felt comfortable eating in here, looking like lava was going to pour out at any minute. Finally, Brian just reached in and pulled out the board powering it. He took it down to R&D and talked them into fixing it sooner, rather than later.”

“Ah. That sounds very… heroic of him. So, this Brian, he’s very popular around here, it seems?”

Rose hesitated. “Yeah, I suppose. I mean, most people like him. He’s nice and all.” She fingered her ring.

The Doctor frowned. This wouldn’t do at all. 

He changed the subject abruptly. “So what do you do for fun, Rose Tyler? Collect seashells? Solve crossword puzzles? Travel the world?”

Rose frowned slightly when he used her full name, and he mentally reminded himself to avoid it. “Well, I used to travel… travel a lot. But mostly nowadays I devote myself to work. Then occasionally just take a break to sleep in, you know?”

 _I do know._ It was clear Rose was overworking herself and avoiding her home life. 

“So,” she added. “What about you?”

“Well, I also like to travel. And I enjoy fiddling with machines a bit, tinkering, that sort of thing. I play the guitar.”

She grinned. “You, a guitarist? Must’ve had quite a band.”

“Oh, I’ve gotten to play with some great musicians. How about you, do you play anything?” The Rose he knew hadn’t much musical ability, but it was best to ask anyway.

“Me? Nah. My mum had me take a few piano lessons when I was a kid. By the third lesson, I had the piano teacher pulling his hair out. I think he was happy to see the back of me.” She laughed a little. “Maybe you can play for me sometime.”

He was pleased by the request. “Of course. It would be my pleasure.” He let himself gaze at her longer than usual, his eyes dark under his shaggy eyebrows. To his surprise, she blushed slightly.

He smiled warmly, then turned away before it could become awkward. 

“Ah... well, we should get back to it,” she said, standing.

“Absolutely.” He collected both their trays to return to the kitchen.

* * *

After lunch, they headed upstairs to discuss interviewing the names he had turned up that morning. He volunteered to take the R&D scientist; it wouldn’t do for her to discover that he hadn’t been working in that department. He also agreed to take the computer scientist. The agents technically reported to Rose somewhere along the chain of command, so it was appropriate for her to approach them.

He decided to go to R&D first, to minimize the chance that Rose might join him if her interviews went quickly. Waiting until Rose departed, he asked a passing woman in a lab coat where he could find R&D. It turned out to be located in a separate building, so he made his way out the red steel door at the rear of the Core Building and approached the ‘R&D Shed’, as the Torchwood agents seemed to refer to it.

Once inside, he walked along the corridor until he found a passing lab tech, who directed him to lab 14 around the corner. He was quickly able to find George Alvey, the scientist who had come up in the archive log.

“Hello, Dr. Alvey, is it?”

A balding man with dull brown hair and glasses looked up. “Yes?”

“I’m Agent McCrimmon. Assistant Director Tyler suggested I talk to you about a small matter.”

The man put down his work and looked curious. “This isn’t about the spectrum displacer, is it? Because I filed my report on that last Tuesday.”

“Ah, no. I’m doing a routine follow-up on archival logs. Last week, you checked out an ‘unidentified crystalline rod’ from Warehouse B, is that right?”

Dr. Alvey nodded. “Yes. I was hoping it would be related to the work I was trying to complete with the spectrum displacer, but I wasn’t able to work out more about it. It’s over there on the table.” He gestured vaguely in the direction of a beautiful blue sceptre, made of transparent, glittering mineral material. 

The Doctor nodded. “Ah. And you haven’t checked out anything else?” He watched the man carefully, using the lightest of telepathic touches to see if anything was amiss.

“No, but I can return the rod, if you’d like. It seems to be useless.” The man was being honest, and the Doctor was satisfied. He smiled and wandered over to the rod.

“Hmm, it seems to me that if you just give it a bit of a shake… there! And then wave it like this…” The rod glowed bright blue, and left glittering lines in the air as it passed. “It’s a pen. Shake it again and it will erase your notes.” He tossed the rod over to Dr. Alvey, who caught it with a startled look.

“How did you…?”

“Oh, I’ve always been good with working out how to get things running.” He smiled, then turned and walked out while the scientist drew lines in the air behind him with a look of wonder on his face.

The next interview was even shorter. He returned to the Core building, and found Susan Kopecky with ease in the IT department. As he walked into the room, he was hit with a blast of thoughts not his own.

_Damn, the server is down again. I wish I could take that over. Archie has no idea what he’s doing with it, and it is such a waste of time. Maybe I’d better get some coffee. That new place down the street is nice, could use a walk…_

The Doctor reeled a little before focusing on strengthening his own mental shields.

Susan stood up and nearly bumped into him as she stood. “Oh! I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Yes, sorry. Agent McCrimmon. Just following up on a simple check on the archive logs. It looks like you checked out a ‘Vinvocci Microboard’, is that correct?”

“Yes, it is.” _What is it with all the questions and paperwork these days? I swear these new agents are just trying to justify their jobs. We need another invasion or something to keep them all occupied. At least then they wouldn’t be stopping me from having a cup of coffee…_

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, impressed at the power of her mental broadcasts. “Right, I’ll just check that off then. Enjoy your coffee.” He smiled at her confused look, and walked out.

Two dead ends. He worried whether his own investigation was equally stagnant. Time to return to Rose’s office. She wasn’t there when he got there, so he amused himself by looking up Brian Parker’s personnel profile and rolling his eyes at the details. He quickly closed the screen when he heard the door handle being turned. 

Rose came in, holding another cup of coffee. “Sorry, I didn’t think to grab you one.” 

He smiled. “That’s all right. I think I’ve hit my limit for the day. Any luck with your interviews?”

She shook her head. “Nothing that came up. They both seemed pretty straight forward. I mean, it’s possible something is going on, but if there is, they were awfully good at hiding it. How about you?”

He shrugged. “Same thing. I don’t think anything is going on with either of them. Well, something’s odd about Kopecky, but I don’t think she’s our thief.” Briefly, he debated recommending a brain scan for Susan to detect her latent telepathy, but decided mentioning this would open up too many questions.

Rose sighed. “Another dead end.”

The Doctor looked at his watch. “Well, it’s about time to knock off for today. Let’s think on it tonight. Sometimes your best ideas come when you’re thinking about something else.”

She laughed. “Or having a pint.”

His blue-grey eyes looked at her intently. “Also a good course of action. Was that an invitation?”

“I wasn’t… ah, yeah, sure, why not? Let me grab my coat.” He noticed she looked a little flustered. A pub would be a good opportunity to get her to open up a bit. 

He followed her out the doorway, and they walked together out of the building. It was already dark outside, and they headed through the streets to a busy thoroughfare. Rose hurried past the first pub they passed. 

“Too many of the agents hang out there. I don’t feel comfortable spending time in a pub with most of them.” She turned away quickly. He smiled to himself, and ran his hands through his hair a couple of times, glancing at his reflection in a darkened shop window.

The brunette stepped out of the shop doorway. “I know, haven’t seen me around for a while. It looked like you were doing all right on your own.” She looked pointedly at Rose’s back. “ _Are you_ doing all right on your own?”

He stared at Rose as she headed down the street. The streetlights were highlighting her face in just the right way. _I’m just going to find out what’s going on with her. And maybe some clues about the anomaly._

“The anomaly. Right. Well, better not let two worlds collapse into the void while you take your time ‘researching’ the anomaly with Ms. Tyler.” The brunette ducked into the next shop doorway and vanished.

 _Remind me to pick the Cheshire Cat the next time I need an imaginary friend._

Rose stopped at a pub in front of him. It was busy for a weeknight, and Rose slid expertly into the crowd around the bar before returning with two pints of lager. 

“Hope that’s all right,” she half-yelled above the din.

“It’s fine!” He yelled back. They grabbed a table to one side of the room. She sipped her drink and looked about the room, people watching. 

He tried a couple of times to strike up a conversation, but the pub only seemed to be getting busier. A waitress came by after a while and brought a second round. _This will never do. I can’t even hear myself in here._

“How about we go someplace quieter?” he yelled.

She looked at him slightly apprehensively. 

“No, I just mean upstairs! Here! So we can talk!” 

“All right! But I didn’t know they had an upstairs!” She relaxed and grinned.

He jerked his head toward the back of the pub and she followed him. He looked around the back for where the stairs might be, and located a flight leading up to a door to an upper floor. He held his finger to his lips and she raised her glass to acknowledge him. The stairs were narrow enough that Rose didn’t notice him reaching into his pocket to unlock the door.

From there, the path was easy. Past some offices, mostly closed for the night, following the stairs up one more floor, and there it was, the small set of stairs leading to the roof. This door wasn’t even locked.

Out on the roof, it was dark, but it was clearly used once in a while for smoking, or maybe even to have lunch. Someone had left several cheap chairs out, and a couple had cushions. The Doctor held out one for Rose, and she sat with a grin. He pulled another up next to her and joined her.

“Much better,” he said, looking out at the city.

“Thanks. I can actually hear myself think again. I guess I’m out of practice. I used to have yelling conversations all the time with my mate Shareen when we’d go out.”

He took a long draw of the lager. “It seems to me that you work too hard.”

“That’s a little presumptuous, don’t you think? You haven’t even known me a week yet.”

“You eat at your desk. You don’t stop at the pub your co-workers spend time at. You’re on the phone all day handling a dozen different investigations, but you still have time to look personally into theft at the office.”

She frowned. “Yeah, okay, but…”

“Tell me I’m wrong.”

“You’re… not wrong.”

“It seems a waste to me. You’re an intelligent, resourceful, and if you don’t mind me saying, charming young woman. You should be out enjoying yourself, surrounded by friends and admirers. If the world isn’t your oyster, at least London is. And judging by the picture on your desk, you should be sharing it.” He paused, looking at her closely.

Rose’s face went from introspective to blank in a split second. She seemed to almost fold in on herself, the light in her eyes sputtering out. She shivered and pulled her jacket tighter around herself. 

_Wrong move._ Before she could speak to excuse herself for the evening, as he was virtually certain she planned to do, he looked upward and added, “Ah well. I suppose I shouldn’t throw stones from my glass house. I’ve been on my own for quite some time.”

“There’s… not much for me at home. ‘s just easier to stay at work.” Her voice wasn’t much above a whisper.

 _Tomorrow, I’ll have to look into that home of hers._ “Ah. Well. I’ve led us to far too serious topics to let our minds wander.” He looked upward, spotting several stars even through the London light pollution. “When I was young, my father used to tell me stories about the stars.”

Rose looked upward, drinking her pint quietly, still looking guarded. He pointed out a bright star. “See that? In the Pegasus constellation. My father always told me that there was a planet there where the people are like butterflies, and the ones without wings serve the others.”

He sneaked a sideways glance at her, and she had a broad smile on her face. “What about that one, then?” She picked out another.

“Oh, that one. Everyone’s invisible there. Really hard not to bump into people.”

She laughed. “And that one?”

“Policemen that look like rhinoceroses. The less said about them, the better.”

It was good to hear her laugh. He took a drink and looked at her. The light had come back into her now. 

She looked down into her glass for a moment, then at him. “I’ve been out there, you know.”

“The stars?”

“Yeah. Well, not here exactly, but yeah. I… miss it. I really miss it.”

He felt a great wave of guilt gnaw at him. It hadn’t really occurred to him that when he left them here, he’d be leaving them planetbound. He always assumed his other self would think of some way around that.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you sad.” 

“It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong.” _Yes, I’m afraid I may have done just that._

They sat together quietly, drinking and looking up at the stars. After a little while, Rose gently leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder.

“It’s a beautiful universe,” she whispered. “I’m lucky I was able to explore it, even for just a little while.”

* * *

After he’d walked her to the nearest tube station, he headed back to the TARDIS. He had felt an unfamiliar warm smile cross his face as he thought back to the rooftop of the pub. She was opening up to him, quite quickly too, but he still hadn’t really learned anything. He resolved to go by her apartment tomorrow, and see if he could spot his other self. 

The metacrisis Doctor was a fool. He had given him such a tremendous gift, and he had squandered it. It had been only two days. Two days, and he already felt himself drawn to her. If he didn’t leave soon, he would end up having his heart broken all over again. Two days had closed most of the distance of a thousand years.

The TARDIS stood in front of him now. He snapped his fingers to open the ship’s door, and was greeted by a loud siren. Rushing into the room, he thrashed wildly at switches, trying to discover the source of the sound. It didn’t take long to discover why the TARDIS’s alarms had gone off. A second anomaly had been created.


	7. Chapter 7

When the Doctor spotted Rose walking down the corridor to their shared office in the morning, he could tell something had changed. She was not giddy with happiness, or even smiling at the moment. But there was a newfound sense of peace about her. She looked less tired around the eyes, and less distracted. He felt inwardly pleased.

“Mornin’, Jamie. Brought you another pastry,” she said, plonking the bag down in front of him. “Thanks for last night, yeah? I guess I needed a night out. Had the best sleep I’ve had in ages,” she smiled at him, then sat on a corner of her desk to eat her own breakfast.

He smiled back at her. “Well, I’ve been accused of putting people to sleep before, but never quite like that.” She laughed warmly. _God, I’ve missed that laugh._

The brunette was back on the file cabinet, perched cross legged. Even though he couldn’t see her face, he imagined she was smiling in an impish way. “That’s it. Fallen completely and thoroughly down the rabbit hole. You’ve made quite a mess of this.”

He frowned. _Not true… she’s just happy. Nothing wrong with that. I’m still going to see the metacrisis Doctor today._

“Oh right. I forgot. ‘She’s a married woman.’ That’s why you were having drinks with her, looking out at the city with her head on your shoulder.” She laughed at him.

_We’ve always been good friends. Best friends. That’s the sort of thing best friends do._

“Come on Doctor, telling yourself that is half the reason the two of you are even in this mess. Or are you trying to tell me that you take all your friends out for cuddles on rooftops?”

_Rose is… has always been… special._

“Right. Special enough to let two worlds collapse into the void, it seems.”

The brunette shrugged, and he realized that Rose had been talking to him for a couple of minutes now. He rewound the conversation in his head to catch up with what she had been saying.

“I had a thought this morning about our next step,” she said. “We should go talk to the archivists at each of the warehouses. See what they remember during the times the tapes were wiped. They weren’t around at night, of course, but during the day there may be something they all saw or noticed.”

He nodded at her. “I don’t have much faith in the reliability of memory, but we do seem to be close to a dead end.” _And perhaps it will turn up something about the creation of the first anomaly._

The second anomaly, he had discovered, was not inside the Torchwood facility. After the Doctor had silenced the TARDIS alarms last night, he ran scans to track its source. It was located in a random alleyway in London. He had taken the TARDIS there, but to no avail. The anomaly’s creator was long since gone, and the anomaly was at least a couple of hours old by then. But why create a second one? Like the first, it was small, virtually unnoticeable, but certainly dangerous.

After they finished their breakfast, and Rose had caught up with their emails, they headed directly to warehouse A to interview their first archivist. Rose explained on the way over that warehouse A was the smallest of the warehouses, the first building to house Torchwood’s artifacts. Only one of the four items that had been checked out in the last week and a half had been taken from here, but there were still several blackouts on the security tapes.

Warehouse A was managed by Laura Holmes, an unlikely employee of Torchwood. She was in her 80s, and was almost a parody of a ‘little old lady’, down to the large glasses and green shawl over the shoulders of a sensible skirt and blouse. She sat at her desk knitting some sort of enormous shapeless mass.

“Hello, Mrs. Holmes!” Rose said loudly.

Mrs. Holmes looked up. “Oh, hello dear. Can I help you with anything?”

“We have some questions for you,” Rose said.

Mrs. Holmes looked at her vaguely. “Some what, dear?” 

The Doctor groaned. “How do you actually manage to find anything here?” The Doctor stage-whispered to Rose.

She grinned, and whispered back. “Mostly we just walk in and get ‘em ourselves. But everyone likes Mrs. Holmes.”

“How did she even get hired? Wander in, and forget to leave the premises? Or was there just an enormous repository of alien wool stored here?” He peered at the old lady for a moment. “Maybe she isn’t human.”

Rose laughed and shook her head. She leaned toward Mrs. Holmes again. “We’re going to ask you some QUESTIONS.”

Mrs. Holmes nodded pleasantly. “All right.”

The Doctor stepped forward. “Did anyone check anything out from here during the last couple of weeks?” he asked loudly.

“Well, you needn’t shout, dear. Let me just check the log.” She picked up a book that had a flowered fabric cover neatly glued to it. Opening it, the Doctor saw tables and tables of names and items neatly handwritten.

“Oh, good lord, apparently we’ve gone back 100 years.” He muttered.

Rose patted his arm and grinned. Mrs. Holmes was running her finger down the page.

“Yes, right here, George Alvey checked out an item.”

“A sort of fancy blue rod?” 

“Why, yes. That’s right. I remember it. Pretty thing, it was.”

“And he didn’t take anything else at the time?” Rose asked.

“No, that was all.”

“Has he been the only one who has come by?” Rose asked. 

“Oh no, I have lots of visitors.” She smiled pleasantly, and picked up her knitting again.

Rose looked hopeful. “Who has visited you, Mrs. Holmes?”

“Well, you two have.” The needles began to click back and forth. The Doctor rolled his eyes, and threw his hands up.

Rose kept her smile up, and added, “Anyone else?”

“Oh, sure, a few people. The agents like to come by and chat. Some of them ask for advice. Like that Agent Phelps. She’s dating a lovely young man, but he just won’t pop the question. Tell him, ‘Put up or shut up,’ that’s what I said. And Agent Parker brought me some wonderful oatmeal cookies. Such a handsome young man. Of course, I can’t eat the things these days, the raisins get stuck under my teeth…”

Rose interrupted, before the elderly woman could ramble on. The Doctor was visibly gritting his teeth now. “Oh, well, that all sounds normal then. But if you remember anyone actually taking any items out, or acting strange, will you let me know?”

Mrs. Holmes smiled. “Of course, dear. It’s always lovely to see you. Please say hello for me when you see your father. He doesn’t come down here often these days. We used to have such nice chats.”

“Of course I will. Thank you, Mrs. Holmes.” 

Rose turned and walked out of the warehouse. The Doctor was just about to follow, when Mrs. Holmes looked up at him suddenly. 

“Oh, I’m human all right,” she said sharply. She narrowed her eyes, peering at him penetratingly over her huge spectacles. “But the question is, what are you?”

The Doctor looked at her for a long moment. He had a feeling there was a reason she was employed by Torchwood.

“Right, well, thank you. I think I’ve reached my limit of disturbing old women for today.” He turned and hurried away from the uncomfortable gaze of Mrs. Holmes.

 

Next stop was Warehouse B, but Harold was out on a coffee break, so it seemed like Morris in Warehouse C would be their next interview.

Morris Sedgwick was younger than the other two archivists. The Doctor guessed him at around 25. He was fit, slender, and wore a dark green bowtie over a suit.

“Embarrassing,” the Doctor muttered, as they approached.

“What, bowties? I think they’re kind of cute,” Rose replied.

_Too bad there wasn’t an anomaly last regeneration._ “Sure, it looks adorable on a twelve year old. Come to think of it, he looks about that age.”

Rose gave him a significant look, then walked over to Morris’s desk.

“Hullo, Morris,” Rose smiled. 

“Oh! H-hi Rose!” Morris adjusted his bowtie. _Was every man in this place smitten with her?_

“This is Agent McCrimmon. He’s helping me look into those missing items we talked about last week, yeah?”

“Oh sure, anything I can do to help!” Morris leaned forward eagerly, not even glancing at the Doctor.

“Right, well, we were wond’rin’, do you remember who came by in the last week and a half to check items out?”

Morris nodded. “Yes… Susan Kopecky and Josh… Joshua Roderick.”

“Right. And did you see all the items they checked out?” Rose asked.

“Oh sure. They followed standard checkout procedures. I inspected the items, they matched the descriptions in the database, and they went on their way. Susan had a really bad headache. I gave her a couple of paracetamol tablets.”

“Anyone else come by besides those two?” 

Morris frowned, struggling to remember. “No, not really. I don’t get a lot of people back here.”

Rose smiled. “All right then.”

“Sorry I couldn’t be of more help. If you need anything, please, let me know.” Morris smiled wistfully.

Rose and the Doctor walked back to the main courtyard behind the Core Building.

“Two more dead ends,” the Doctor said with disgust. _I’m running out of time._

Rose shook her head. “Well, it was a bit of a long shot.” 

She glanced at her watch. “Why don’t you check in with Harold? I’ve got an appointment I have to keep. We’ll meet up again after lunch, go over what Harold said, and figure out our next step, all righ’?”

The Doctor nodded. “That sounds fine.” _It will also give me time to look up the other me._

Rose waved cheerily and walked back into the Core Building. The Doctor watched her, then headed for Harold’s desk.

 

Harold, as it turned out, was just as much of a dead-end when it came to tracking the thief. Niall Jing had checked out an ‘Atomizing Render Box’ (or more accurately a Sontaran Nail Trimmer) and otherwise there was nothing unusual. A couple of agents had come by to chat. Brian Parker had given Harold one of the oatmeal cookies. The Doctor decided he loathed oatmeal cookies. But there was nothing that seemed to lead anywhere.

The Doctor had just been about to leave when Harold chuckled and commented, “I may have been wrong about you and Rose. I heard you actually got her out to a pub last night.”

He froze. “If investigations here moved as fast as the gossip does, maybe Torchwood could actually stop an invasion for a change.” He pulled his eyebrows down for his coldest, most glaring look.

Harold smiled unrepentantly. “Sorry, word does get around here. But really, good luck. I mean, she’s a lot younger, but it’s nice to see her happy.”

The Doctor continued to glare at the archivist. “She’s a married woman, Harold.”

Harold looked at him, confused. “Married… You mean you don’t know?”

“Know what?”

“She’s a widow. Her husband died, several years back. I thought you knew.”

The Doctor suddenly felt the world spinning around him. He died? He can’t have. He can’t regenerate. No. No. No. That’s not possible. He… we… we’re clever. We only died to save Wilfred. But he wouldn’t have done that. No… he would have known…

Harold was looking at him with some concern. “McCrimmon? Are you all right?”

He looked slightly wildly at Harold. “He can’t be dead. She’s… she’s wearing a ring.”

A sad look crossed Harold’s face. “Yeah… well… she just wasn’t the same after that, was she? She kept the ring on. But she wasn’t the same. No joy, no life. It was tragic, really. I don’t think she’s been out with anyone since then. Not until last night.”

The Doctor looked at Harold blankly, letting the impact of his words sink in. “How did he die?”

Harold shrugged. “I don’t really know. He worked here a couple of years. Good man, clever – fastest one in the room. Happy. Always ready with a joke. Nothing like you, no offense. Then after he was here a while, they suddenly took a few years off. When Rose came back, well, they said he died of an illness, and she was like you see her now. Until today, anyway. She seems happy.” He looked at the Doctor with some concern. “But you thought she was married. Don’t go breaking her heart, I don’t think she could take that again. Not after watching what she went through the last time.”

The Doctor stared at him for a while, the words whirling around his brain. Somehow, with all the infinite possibilities that time provides swirling around his brain, he didn’t see this possibility. Was it pure ego, that he couldn’t imagine it all ending, once and for all? He had spent years, lifetimes, with human beings. Was dying a final death really so hard to accept?

He looked up. “Harold… I’m just going to take a look around the warehouse for clues on the missing items. All right?” His voice sounded stiff and strange in his ears. 

Harold still looked concerned. “Sure, of course. Let me know if you need anything.”

The Doctor strode into the warehouse, and directly to the TARDIS parked in the rear closet. Moments later, it was parked outside Rose’s flat.

Her apartment was located in an expensive part of London, on the topmost floor. Unsurprisingly, there was security, but the psychic paper easily dissuaded them. In moments, he was standing inside, looking around. He barely noticed the furnishings.

Everything he saw hammered Harold’s words like nails into his skull.

A single wine glass left on the living room coffee table. _She’s a widow…_

The kitchen seemed barren. No plates out. He opened the refrigerator. It was filled with a variety of half-full takeout boxes. Inside the cupboards, the pots and pans had visible dust upon them. _She just wasn’t the same after that…_

He turned and strode into the bedroom, large and airy with a beautiful view of the city. A king-sized bed. The covers were thrown back on only one side. The nightstand on that side had a few items. The other side had a nightstand bare except for a single picture of Him. _Her husband died, several years back. I thought you knew._

He quickly slid open the mirrored closet doors. On one side, Rose’s clothes were organized. On the other, his pinstriped suits still hung, untouched. _She kept the ring on. But she wasn’t the same. No joy, no life._

The closet door slid closed quietly, and he walked through to the second bedroom door. Locked. He paused a moment, then made a decision and used his sonic on it. He valued Rose’s privacy, but in a way, this was about him as well.

The door opened onto another large room. This had been his room, he could tell. There were notes pinned up all along the walls, and pictures of various vistas of the world. The desk was covered in notes. It looked like he had dabbled in many things before he died. None of them easily pointed to a specific cause of death. It would take some time to go through his possessions. A picture of Rose sat next to the computer keyboard, and next to it, a picture of them kissing. Atop a mountain, it looked like. 

He keyed on the computer and sat down. There were many safeguards placed upon it, but he hadn’t tried to lock himself out. It was easy to guess his own passwords. He sorted through the files. Again, the man had many interests and they were all scattered haphazardly about the machine. That version of him had never been too tidy. And then he found the file. The great, big, locked, heavily guarded file. This was it.

He tried a password. Nothing. Tried another. Nothing. Soon he started putting together programs running through possible password permutations. Nothing. After the 10th program had run and failed, the screen abruptly changed to a white background with some simple text upon it.

_Hello, me. At least I’m sure you must be me, because who else would have been clever enough to try that series of programs to break into this file? But it won’t work, because I’m you, and I know what we’re capable of. And also because you’re not quite me, and you don’t know what I’ve thought of since we split. Infuriating, isn’t it?_

_I never agreed with your thoughts about staying on this world, you know. But in the end, I, weary traveler, took the slower path, and it has been worth it. Oh, so worth it. These past five years have been incredible. Fantastic, even. Spending every day with her, together. Well, you dreamed of it, didn’t you? But I got to live it, and that has made it worth being trapped once again on this planet._

_I hope that one day, this letter reaches your eyes. And I hope you haven’t moved on. Because she deserves so much more than this fate we’ve left her to. She has rescued both of us countless times. Sometimes from ourselves. And now it’s time for you to rescue her._

_P.S. If you’re really determined to see the contents to that file, you’re going to have to ask Rose. Which means telling her that you’re here. I assume you haven’t – I wouldn’t have, if I were you. Curiosity’s a terrible thing, isn’t it?_

 

He closed the screen and the computer simply powered down. Sitting back, he stared at the darkened monitor. From the sound of the letter, he had known he would not be around for Rose. So what was behind the locked file? One more mystery.

He frowned. The past hour had so disoriented him that he had nearly forgotten the anomalies. Well, now he knew his other self wasn’t behind them. They had only been created recently. Unless they were on some sort of time delay, but that seemed unlikely to him. He knew himself well enough to know that if he had been crazy enough to risk destroying two worlds just to summon himself back, he would have done it before five years ago, when it seemed his other self had passed away. No, the letter had been written in the off chance that he showed up. A long shot. He always did like betting on long shots.

What was the logical next step, then? It seemed as though most of his leads had reached a dead end, just like Rose’s case. Well, he had technological advantages she didn’t. Tonight, he would try to build a mobile tracker that could detect the energy build up necessary to punch a hole between dimensions. This way, he could continue working with Rose, and the next time an anomaly was created, he would be able to find the culprit before he had run off. He suspected he had all the parts he needed on the TARDIS.

But in the meantime… it was getting towards the end of lunch now. He took a last look around Rose’s apartment, locking up as he went, and took the TARDIS back to Torchwood.

Harold wasn’t at the front of the warehouse when he left. He was grateful for his missing presence. The last thing he needed was more gossip mongering about Rose’s life.

He returned to Rose’s office, and took a moment to compose himself, organizing all the emotions whirling around his brain. She wasn’t back yet, so he opened up the laptop and began looking at the personnel files for clues again. He didn’t spend more than a minute or two on the task when Rose walked in and sat down behind her desk. 

“Ah, Jamie. I had lunch… I hope you grabbed something.”

“Oh, yes. I picked up something. Don’t worry about me.” He smiled at her. She had seemed tired since he had come back to Pete’s World, but now looking at her with the knowledge of what she had been through, every line around her eyes weighed on him heavily.

“So… what did Harold have to say then?” she asked.

“Nothing helpful. Same situation. No unusual visitors. The agent who checked out the item from the warehouse didn’t have anything else with her. I wondered…”

“Yes?”

“Well, is this list complete? I mean, did you check the entire stock of all three warehouses after you discovered the thefts?”

Rose looked at him for a moment. She seemed a little stiff when she responded. “No… I didn’t. It was going to take too long, and I didn’t have time. Once I’d confirmed at least several things had been taken, I stopped there.” 

Perhaps he’d put her on the defensive. “Of course, of course. I was just wondering if there weren’t other items that had been taken that might tell us more about why these items are being targeted.” Like the dimensional hole punch. 

Rose nodded. “Well, if you think it’s worth the time, you can start on a full inventory of the warehouses tomorrow. In the meantime, I have to catch up on a bit of paperwork, yeah?” She turned back to work on her computer.

He started turning over what he knew in his mind. The Torchwood thief could well be the same person who took the dimensional hole punch. The CCTV erasures implied that whoever did it did not want to be seen entering or exiting the warehouses. The archivists didn’t remember anyone taking anything unusual, but they also went home for the night, which means the thief probably broke in during the evening. But why erase the tapes during the day, then?

The first anomaly had been created in the back of a warehouse. So whoever had found the dimensional punch had either been testing it back there, or it had misfired. But the creation of the second anomaly must have been intentional. If it had been a mistake, then they presumably would not have wanted to risk the creation of a second. Unless they had no idea what they were doing. They seemed to be covering their tracks well for someone who had no idea of what they were doing.

No, his best bet would be to build the tracker he had thought of, and catch them in the act. At worst, he could start on the warehouse inventory to look for related missing items, but the tediousness of it made him shudder internally. Now, knowing what had happened to his duplicate, he was anxious to demand Rose explain everything. She would be unlikely to tell him here, though. Torchwood seemed to be her armour, the thing that held her together the last few years. When she walked through these doors, she was tough and professional, and not the Rose who laid her head on his shoulder on the roof. So he bided his time for the last few hours of the day.

He had Rose send him the data on the CCTV erasures, and watched scenes leading up to and following them. After getting through about half of them, he realized the day was winding up. She was packing up her purse now, and he looked up.

“Heading out for the day?” he asked hopefully.

“Oh, yeah. Thought I’d knock off a little early.” She smiled briefly, then shrugged on her jacket.

He grinned. “Not up for another pint then?”

She shook her head. “Not tonight. I’ve some things to take care of.”

“Ah, right. Well then, I’ll see you tomorrow.

“Good night.”

“Night.”

And just like that, she was gone. He felt disappointed. Maybe his other self had been correct, and he just needed to come clean about who he was. There was no fear of running into himself now… but then what? He was only here to close the anomalies. Not pick up where he left off with Rose Tyler. And she had her own life here with Torchwood, her family. Sure, she was mourning him, but that was natural. He wouldn’t be able to give her the life his metacrisis self had done. There were certainly plenty of people here eager to help her move on. 

He decided not to think about it for now. The anomalies would still take some time. This wasn’t something he needed to decide right away. Time to build that tracker. He pulled on his jacket and left the office, snibbing the door shut on the way out.

As he walked across the courtyard to the warehouse, a figure stood in the shadows of the Core Building, watching him sonic his way into the building. He closed the door behind him, and the figure slipped quietly along, following.


	8. Chapter 8

Rose woke up that morning to warm sunlight streaming in on her face. She yawned and stretched, luxuriating in the soft feel of the sheets and duvet. Had she actually slept all night? Really? She marveled at how much better she felt. She sat up, looked out at her view of the city and smiled a little, remembering the night before. She’d sat with Jamie quite late, talking sometimes, looking up at the stars, eventually just enjoying each other’s presence. It had been the best night she’d had in a long, long time.

She wasn’t quite sure what she thought of him yet. He’d only been on the job two days, and she already felt so comfortable with him. Why? She puzzled over it a moment, and decided it was his age. After the Doctor, _Her_ Doctor, as she preferred to think of him, had passed away, she realized that no one else held much interest for her. She remembered Sarah Jane. It was clear she had never moved on after he had left her behind. How many years had that been, spent alone? _At least she had a robot dog._ She had looked up Sarah Jane in this world. She was an investigative journalist, one of the earliest women to become one. But her life in this world had not been touched by the Doctor, and she was of little help to Rose. 

Rose glanced down at the ring on her finger. After he’d died, she’d left it on. At first, because taking it off seemed impossible. But later, she found it also deterred most of the men she met in her day to day life. An easy way of telling them she wasn’t available without having to explain why. And the men who knew her better also left her alone, even after they found out she was widowed, because of the ring. There were a few persistent ones. She remembered Brian Parker asking her out on a few occasions. And she liked him, she really did. But he wasn’t her Doctor.

So when Jamie suggested they go to the pub, well, normally she had a whole host of excuses at the ready. But he was so much older, she thought it unlikely he had any romantic intentions toward her. _Age difference._ She nearly laughed aloud. Compared to the Doctor and her, it was nothing. And she used to tease her Doctor about it, since really he had only been a few days old when they wound up back here in Pete’s World. 

That was never a good train of thought. She got up to get dressed, pausing, as always, to gently kiss the face in the frame on the other side of the bed. Maybe she’d pick up more pastries for Jamie. He seemed to like them, and she rather liked the idea of taking care of him a bit. An older man, living alone, needed someone to keep an eye on him. He was great to talk to. Maybe, just maybe, she had finally found a friend.

He was already at work when she got in, that maroon velvet jacket of his hung over the back of his chair. His hair was a bit wild, too. _He needs a bit of a trim, but honestly, it does look good this way._ She was a little nervous. Had last night been a good thing? He did work for her, after all. _Only one way to find out!_

“Mornin’, Jamie. Brought you another pastry,” she said, plonking the bag down in front of him. “Thanks for last night, yeah? I guess I needed a night out. Had the best sleep I’ve had in ages,” she smiled. He smiled back, a good sign.

“Well, I’ve been accused of putting people to sleep before, but never quite like that.” 

She laughed. It was so nice to finally feel comfortable around someone. To laugh without wondering what their intentions were, or how to excuse yourself quickly.

“I had a thought this morning about our next step,” she said. “We should go talk to the archivists at each of the warehouses. See what they remember during the times the tapes were wiped. They weren’t around at night, of course, but during the day there may be something they all saw or noticed.”

Jamie looked a little distracted, but she couldn’t really criticize. She was barely functional before she’d had some coffee in the morning. 

He nodded at her. “I don’t have much faith in the reliability of memory, but we do seem to be close to a dead end.” 

She sat down and powered up her computer. The usual clamor of emails was waiting for her. Approve this, sign that, can I have a vacation, the motor pool needs a new jeep after the last one was covered in corrosive slime… they went on and on. She knew she should be delegating some of this, but she had never made an effort to do so. Keeping busy had been a lifeline for her the last five years. She nibbled on her croissant and sipped at her coffee, knocking out replies to the emails efficiently. Once in a while, she’d glance over at Jamie, who appeared lost in thought as he ate his own breakfast.

_He really is quite good looking, great eyes. And seems like a pretty good guy. He ought to have a wife or girlfriend. Wonder why not? Probably it’s the eyebrows. He looks kind of angry when he’s jus’ thinking. Maybe drives a lot of people off._

She finished up her breakfast, and saw Jamie was done too, so they headed over to Warehouse A. On the way, she gave him a quick summary of the place they were headed and the situation there. Still, it was easy to see from his expression that he hadn’t been prepared for Mrs. Holmes.

“Hello, Mrs. Holmes!” Rose said loudly.

Mrs. Holmes looked up. “Oh, hello dear. Can I help you with anything?”

“We have some questions for you,” Rose said.

“Some what, dear?” 

“How do you actually manage to find anything here?” Jamie really hadn’t kept his voice down, and Rose stifled a giggle. She hadn’t seen him get frustrated before, and seeing him mildly irritated was entertaining.  
She tried to placate him, but he was still complaining. “How did she even get hired? Wander in, and forget to leave the premises? Or was there just an enormous repository of alien wool stored here? Maybe she isn’t human.”

Rose bit her lip to hide her mirth, and decided to get back to the conversation with Mrs. Holmes before he made her laugh out loud. Unfortunately, they found out very little, but seeing Jamie’s reaction to Mrs. Holmes’s logbook was priceless. Even though they made no progress, she realized she had thoroughly enjoyed herself. She really did enjoy working with Jamie, even a cantankerous complaining Jamie.

Afterwards, they ended up going to Warehouse C, since Harold was out. Morris was a nice enough guy, but she didn’t come over too often because she was a bit uncomfortable with the obvious and enormous crush that Morris had on her. Jamie didn’t seem too impressed with him either. And once again, they found very little information. She was starting to get frustrated. Her instincts told her that there was something strange about this case of thievery. It was a lot more than an agent sneaking home a device to help pick up girls at a club. The thief had covered their tracks unbelievably well.

Looking at her watch, she realized she’d run out of time. She was supposed to have a meeting over lunch with her dad. The weekly meeting always allowed them to bring each other up to speed regularly. Pete had instituted it early on, back when he was mostly trying to get to know her. She really enjoyed it, and tried to never be late. There were many things that made her sad about her life on ‘Pete’s World,’ but finally getting a chance at a relationship with her father had been wonderful. And he seemed to care about her just as much as her real dad would have, which astounded her. 

She let Jamie take over the remaining interview, and excused herself. Back up at her office, she collected various papers she needed for the meeting, and went upstairs to the Director’s office. His secretary, a young, serious man by the name of Blake, buzzed her in without pausing. 

Peter Tyler’s office was much larger than her own. She supposed he had to make an impression on his guests. Sometimes he hosted heads of state here, including the President of Great Britain. _It still sounds strange to say that._ He had a nice view out of the large windows dominating one wall. They were not actually glass, but some material that had been scavenged from a ship that they had lifted out of a lake in northern Wales several years ago. Bullets, lasers, even sonic devices didn’t seem to penetrate it.

His desk was large and the chairs comfortable. A table to the side had been set with a small buffet for their lunch. As Rose walked in, Pete immediately got up to hug her. Then, as was their usual routine, they started loading up their plates with food.

Her meetings with her father always had a similar format. First they ate a bit. Then he would go over a number of questions that her mother had clearly badgered him to ask her, followed by a genuine personal discussion about family life. Afterwards they would go over business.

So it didn’t surprise her when he took a few bites of his curry, and asked her, “So… Rose. I wanted to talk about that flat of yours.”

She ate her curry and didn’t look up. It was obvious what was coming. Jackie had been worried about her since her Doctor had died. And in the last couple of years, her mother had decided that Rose’s inability to move on was tied directly to her flat.

Pete sighed and continued. “Look, your mum’s just worried. She thinks being there every day, seeing his things, his room, will just keep all the memories fresh.”

Rose kept eating and shrugged. She was tired of this argument. Pete looked at her sympathetically. “Rose… honey… at first I didn’t agree with Jackie on this one. I married your mother, I love her, but that doesn’t mean I want to let go of my good memories with my Jackie from this world. But it’s been five years, and it’s not healthy. It’s like you’ve never really moved on.”

Rose took a swig of soda and put her fork down for a moment. “Should I have moved on?”

“Well, I think at some point everyone needs accept and to move on from grief.”

Rose raised an eyebrow. “That’s where you don’t understand. I have moved on from grieving. I’m not cryin’ for him every day. I know he’s not coming back. It took a long time to believe that, you know. Like I’d look at every corner and expect him to just run around it and say it was all a joke. Eventually, I stopped expecting it. And now, I don’t even think about that. There’s no hope there. My time with him is done, I know that. But I’m not interested in moving on to anyone new. How could I? Sit with some man and think he’s funny and good looking, so what, we should maybe get a house and have a couple of kids and a dog? That’s not my life, Dad.” She shook her head.

Pete rubbed his forehead. “Okay, okay. I don’t want to keep on about this. But it would be good for you to talk to someone. Just think about it, okay?”

She picked up her fork and kept eating her curry. “How’s Tony?” she asked after a moment.

Pete relaxed and smiled. “Great. Just great. You should come take him out sometime. He’s driving Jackie a bit crazy. Thirteen years old, and all he does is eat, sleep, play video games, and go out with his friends. Jacks caught him with some of his homework not turned in. Big fight, that was.”

Rose smiled ruefully. “She’s used to it. It wasn’t like I was the best student either.”

“Right. And look how you turned out! Even went back to school, didn’t you? I try telling her not to worry about it, but you try telling Jackie Tyler anything.” They both laughed.

Rose had cleared her plate. It was time to move on to business. She went through a dozen different cases with him, discussing outcomes, additional resources, incarcerated aliens. She did enjoy her job. The universe was an interesting place, even just the tiny part that touched the Earth in passing. 

Peter looked at a list of items in front of him. “So, how are things coming with finding the warehouse thief?”

Rose sat back in her chair and folded her arms with a frown. “Nothing so far. Absolutely nothing. It’s so frustrating. I know this is more than someone taking home pencils. But we just haven’t been able to make any headway.”

Pete cocked his head. “We? I thought you had decided it was safer to look into this alone for the moment.”

Rose smiled and looked out the window, suddenly remembering sipping a pint on a rooftop. “Yeah, well, I realized I could use a brand new agent. He was looking for an item in Warehouse B and it turned up missing, so I figured chances were low that he was the thief. And I’m so glad you hired him, just luck that I found him on his first day. He’s brilliant. I might even permanently assign him to my department.” She smiled again, staring at the buildings in the distance. After a moment, she realized Pete hadn’t answered. She looked up, and he had an odd, serious expression.

“Rose, I haven’t hired any new agents in the last couple of weeks.”

She looked confused. “What d’you mean? You must’ve. Jamie McCrimmon.”

Pete stared at her. “I don’t know anyone by that name.”

* * *

Rose’s entire body felt cold as she walked down to her office. She felt sick even thinking about last night. _Who is Jamie McCrimmon?_ It seemed likely that he was tied to the thefts from the warehouse. Otherwise, it was far too coincidental that he ended up assisting her. Nevermind that she was the one who had him transferred; he was in exactly the right place at the right time. Even if he wasn’t the thief himself, he could be linked. 

But the feeling she had was worse than just feeling foolish for being duped. She had finally started to open up a bit. Yeah, it wasn’t much, just a drink and a chat. But it was more than she’d done in five years. And now he turned out to be an impostor. Pete had even placed a few calls, looking for the name. The only Jamie McCrimmons that had turned up were obviously unrelated to anything that might concern Torchwood. It had been a name picked from a hat. 

She never considered herself a great liar. Finding out what was going on, though, was going to require a stretch of her acting skills. After discussing it with Pete, she had decided to continue to act as though she were unaware of Jamie’s duplicity. She didn’t know what he was up to, and this would be the best way to find out. Pete didn’t agree. He was concerned about her safety, and it seemed much safer to just interrogate the fake agent. But Rose had been reluctant to give up any possible lead on the warehouse thefts, and after a while, she had convinced her Dad of her position. Pete just hoped that Jackie wouldn’t kill him.

Rose steeled herself, then opened her office door and walked straight to her computer. She tried to think of something casual to say.

“Ah, Jamie. I had lunch… I hope you grabbed something.”

“Oh, yes. I picked up something. Don’t worry about me.” He smiled at her. The smile made her want to punch him. She focused every effort on keeping her expression neutral.

“So… what did Harold have to say then?” she asked. A little flatly, she thought. _Careful, careful…_

“Nothing helpful. Same situation. No unusual visitors. The agent who checked out the item from the warehouse didn’t have anything else with her. I wondered…” 

“Yes?”

“Well, is this list complete? I mean, did you check the entire stock of all three warehouses after you discovered the thefts?”

Nosing for information, it looked like. She had been planning to have the archivists take a full stock of everything in storage if the interviews today had turned nothing up. It would alert whoever had done this, but without a lead, she was stuck. She wondered what his angle was.

“No… I didn’t.” She finally answered him, not sure if honesty was the best idea, but not wanting to wait too long before answering. “It was going to take too long, and I didn’t have time. Once I’d confirmed at least several things had been taken, I stopped there.” 

“Of course, of course. I was just wondering if there weren’t other items that had been taken that might tell us more about why these items are being targeted.” He was placating her. Backing down. He must have been trying to discover something. It would be better to end this conversation before she accidentally revealed anything useful to him.

“Well, if you think it’s worth the time, you can start on a full inventory of the warehouses tomorrow. In the meantime, I have to catch up on a bit of paperwork, yeah?” She turned to her computer, grateful to have something to look at besides him. Her stomach was still clenched, and she had never been so angry in her life. Well, once before. Really, both times were a betrayal of trust. She had been better off on her own. 

It was hard to keep calm. Several times, she found herself blinking back a few tears of rage. Fortunately, he seemed to be absorbed in his own thoughts. She went for tea a couple of times during the afternoon just to catch a glimpse of his screen. CCTV videos. Well, she knew which ones were deleted, and she had backups now. Just let him try to erase them.

It was such a relief when the day was over. She wanted to hurry things along, so just after six o’clock, she started packing up her purse.

“Heading out for the day?” he asked.

“Oh, yeah. Thought I’d knock off a little early.” She managed a small smile, then shrugged on her jacket.

He grinned. “Not up for another pint then?”

_So you can try to get more out of me? I don’t think so._ She shook her head. “Not tonight. I’ve some things to take care of.”

“Ah, right. Well then, I’ll see you tomorrow.

“Good night.”

“Night.”

And just like that, she walked out of the office and away from him. Getting out of his presence was an enormous relief. She headed toward the stairs, but instead of going down, headed upward. Then she waited in a quiet alcove where she wouldn’t be noticed by him or any of the other employees headed downward.

It was quite a while before he appeared. He had waited maybe forty-five minutes after she left before he locked up the office and walked down the corridor. She watched as he started down the stairs, and gave him a full flight ahead of her before walking quietly down them herself. The building was emptying out as various employees went home. There were enough people about to cover the sound of her following him, and she acted casual as she walked along the corridors and avoided conversation.

Not headed for the front exit, it seemed. That’s where the employee parking lot was. She never asked him if he drove, or took the Tube, or how he got to work. Not that she felt he had been telling her the truth about anything else. Anyway, he was headed for the exit to the rear courtyard.

He went through the door and seemed in a hurry. It was a good thing, too, because he was quite far ahead and she was able to catch the door before it closed without him noticing. He might have noticed if the door had closed twice. She slipped out into a shadowy spot, and watched him walk toward Warehouse B. Hiding was easy in the early darkness of autumn. 

Harold had gone home already. She supposed that was why Jamie had waited so long to leave the office. If she had wanted proof that he was involved in the thefts, this was about as clear a signal as she was going to get. What was he planning to take next?

He looked around to make sure no one was about, then fumbled in his pockets. It was hard to see what he was doing with only a few scattered lights in the courtyard. He managed to open the lock, though, and entered the warehouse. This would be the dangerous part, but she would try to remain unobserved. And if she failed, well, Pete had made her take a gun in her pocket. Alien tech. Small, light, and easy to use. She didn’t like it. Even after her Doctor’s death, she had avoided guns when handling most cases. But this man could be dangerous, and she needed some defense. It was Pete’s only condition for letting her pursue this.

She crossed the courtyard quickly and quietly, then opened the door with her ID card. Hopefully the small beep would not give her away. Slipping inside, she found it dark except for the minimal lights left on at night. She closed the door quietly behind her, then stopped and listened. He wasn’t trying to be quiet. He must think he’s alone. The footsteps were somewhere in front of her and to her left, so she slowly headed that direction.

Eventually, she reached the left rear corner of the warehouse, and found… nothing. Where could he be? She listened for a while and heard nothing more. No, this was ridiculous, she would have heard him go past her if he had gone back out. There was a closet on one wall. Mostly for cleaning supplies, she knew, and assorted odds and ends. Hiding in there? It seemed unlikely, but she couldn’t figure out where else he would be. She gripped the door silently, pulled out her alien pistol, and then with a quick jerk, yanked the door wide open.

In front of her stood the TARDIS.

* * *

The Doctor was standing in the console room, staring at the chalkboard. He had already listed most of the parts he would need for the scanner, and was contemplating the most efficient approach. He was sure he already had most, if not all of the items in the TARDIS's back storerooms. Even if he didn’t, there was enough alien tech stashed in Torchwood’s warehouses for him to improvise. And he _was_ brilliant at improvising. He allowed himself a smug grin.

He heard a click, the distinctive sound of the TARDIS door opening, then closing behind someone. He froze, knowing there was only one person on this planet who had the means to do that. Putting down the chalk, he turned around slowly, barely noticing that he was holding his breath.

Rose had walked into the lower half of the console room, staring around her with an indescribable expression. It wasn’t wonder. She’d traveled with him too long for that. There were tears, stunned disbelief perhaps, and something else. He shifted, and hearing him, she rapidly turned to look at him directly. _Ah, that something else would be rage._

“Rose…” he paused, at an unusual loss for words.

She didn’t reply. She just stared for a moment, then she deliberately walked up the steps toward the platform where he stood. They stood for a moment. Face to face, only a foot apart, just looking at each other. She raised her hand and slapped him, hard.

He gasped and clutched his face. “Ow! Ow! What, is slapping genetic in your family?”

Her eyes had flooded with tears now, dripping down her face, streaking her mascara. 

“Rose,” he tried again, still holding his cheek. She turned and fled.

* * *

Rose ran from Warehouse B like it were on fire, through the Core Building, and out the front doors past a surprised security guard. Reaching an empty street, she began to put on speed, pouring her emotions into every step.

“Run.” That had been the first word the Doctor had ever said to her. And they had done that, so many times. Running from peril. Running towards peril. Her Doctor, too, had always been running. Whether he was 900 years old or a few days old, experiencing life at anything less than a run had been far too slow for him.

And now she was running away from him. Her feet methodically hit the pavement. Her thoughts were a jumble. _How could he? Three days. How could he do that? How is he here? Stupid, all the signs were there, so stupid. How could he lie to me? Of course he did, he’s the same man. And they both lied to me._

Her thoughts looped over and over. She wasn’t even sure why or where she was running, she just knew that she couldn’t look at him. Not after he had finally reached her, broken through her shield of loneliness, and then let her down. Three days, and not once had he even tried to tell her.

She couldn’t think what it all meant. She didn’t want to think about it. Or him. Or her Doctor. She just wanted to run.

And then she was at her flat. Evidently her body had taken her home, even when her mind was shattered. She stopped in front of the building, leaned over and panted, gasping for breath. 

After a minute or two of recovering, she stood, seemingly calm, but so close to the edge of a precipice. She walked in past the guards who glanced her, then greeted her by name. She nodded to them, and took the stairs as she usually did.

Her hands were trembling so hard that it took her four attempts to get the lock open. She opened the door, stumbled in, and slumped against it as it closed. And there he was, standing in the middle of her living room.

“Rose… please. Just listen to me a moment.” He looked concerned and pleading, she thought. But this was a different face, and she didn’t know its expressions as well as her own Doctor’s face. 

She just stared, then managed to draw a breath and finally say something. “I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

“I know you don’t, but I need to tell you…” This one might not talk as much as her Doctor, but he still didn’t know when to shut up.

“Leave me alone.” She knew she’d come to regret those words later, but right now they were the only words she had.

She walked through the living room, bumping his shoulder as she walked past, headed into the bedroom, and closed and locked the door.

* * *

It took over an hour for the sobs to subside. He sat on her green sofa and listened quietly. It had taken every ounce of willpower not to sonic open the door, and he had caught himself getting up at least four times. But she had asked him to leave her alone, and he was determined to respect that. He needed to find some way to convince her to let him explain. 

The sobs were punishment enough. Each time he heard one, he was wracked with guilt. How many times would he break this woman’s heart? He considered just getting back in the TARDIS and leaving. Find and close the anomalies and leave her alone. Just let her live her life in peace for once. Run away. Something inside him wouldn’t let him do that. So he just sat.

It was quiet now. He hadn’t heard a noise from her room in fifteen minutes. Perhaps now that she had been able to cry, get rid of some of the shock and grief, she would let him talk to her. He got up and walked to her door.

“Rose?” He knocked lightly. There was no answer. He listened for a moment. Still silent. Lifting his screwdriver, he quietly opened the door. He turned the handle and stepped inside.

Rose was asleep, on her bed. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying. Her makeup was streaked. She lay curled in a ball, clutching a pillow. Despite all this, his only thought was that she was still so very beautiful. The Doctor just watched her for a minute, breathing lightly. Stepping forward, he gently slipped her shoes off her feet. He pulled the duvet cover up and over her, tucking it around her carefully. Then he brushed her hair lightly away from her face, leaned down, and gently kissed her forehead. Turning and walking out of the bedroom, he quietly closed and locked the door behind him.


	9. Chapter 9

Rose awoke in her bed, feeling strange and slightly uncomfortable. It took a few minutes to really wake up and wonder why she felt so odd. Her eyes felt sticky, she was hungry, and her skin felt like it was covered in a thin layer of sweat. Sitting up, she noticed it was definitely morning. She was still fully dressed. As she stared at her clothes, her memories of the previous evening began to flood back. She took a deep, shaky breath, but didn’t feel like crying. She had no tears left to give.

Looking at the closed door of her bedroom, she wondered whether he was still out there. Had he actually left when she told him to leave her alone? The idea of him being in her living room was just as terrifying as imagining he wasn’t there anymore. She stared at the door for a long minute, paralyzed by uncertainty.

A glance in the mirror broke her from her spell. She looked terrible. Makeup streaked, her face had every appearance of someone who had fallen asleep crying. Well, if he was out there, she wasn’t going to let him see her looking like this. She got up and went into her bathroom, stripped down and turned on a hot shower. The cleansing waters ran over her, taking away some of the stress and misery of the previous night. She was starting to get a grip on the sudden sharp turn that her life had taken. If there was anything that the Doctor specialized in, it was turning her life on its head.

Once clean, she grabbed some new clothes from the closet and glanced at herself in the mirror. Much better. The lump in the pocket of her jeans reminded her that she still had the gun Pete had given her. Wait. Pete. He had made her promise that she would call. She remembered the concern he had about the threat that the impostor might have posed. Oh no… he could be rallying strike teams to surround her flat, for all she knew. She rushed over and grabbed her phone off the nightstand. Forty-seven missed calls. She swore, and tapped the contact for him. He picked up immediately.

“Rose? What happened? Are you all right?” She felt terribly guilty, hearing the anxiousness in his voice. 

“Yeah, Dad. I’m good. It’s… it’s okay.”

“What happened last night? Why didn’t you answer my calls? God, I thought you might be dead. I didn’t tell Jackie yet, or she’d have been beating down your door last night.”

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to. Everything’s okay, but there’s a lot going on, and I… I just forgot.”

“Forgot?!” He sounded like he thought she was a little crazy. Perhaps she was. “Did you figure out who McCrimmon is? Did you catch him at anything?”

“Yeah, Dad. I… have an idea. Look, I can’t tell you about it now. Trust me, just for a little while. I’m all right, I’m not in danger. Only, I need to figure out a little more.”

“Well, all right,” Pete sounded doubtful. “But you check in with me, okay? Daily. Or twice a day. And I want to know everything soon.”

“Yeah. I will. And thanks… thanks for trusting me.”

“Always, sweetheart.”

She hung up. It was clear she’d have to tell him soon. Pete had done so much for her here. She couldn’t leave him worrying about her like this. He was going out on a limb by not demanding answers. Someone had broken through Torchwood security. That alone should have him hauling her in for immediate questioning.

Picking up a towel, she dried off her hair properly, then looked at the door. No more putting it off then. She’d have to see if he was out there. Bracing herself, she walked into the living room.

* * *

He’d spent all night working on the tracker. Really, he was grateful that the project needed to be done. Dwelling on emotional breakdowns was not something he had been good at, even as his previous selves. If anything, his tolerance for ‘domestic’ situations had gotten worse since his ninth form. Building a scanner, though, that he could do. As it reached morning, he had finished about half of it. It would definitely need more parts from Torchwood. For now, it would be best to wait and see if Rose was up. He wasn’t sure how she was going to react to him, but he hoped she would at least speak to him today.

He left the TARDIS where he had parked it in the metacrisis’s office, and went back into the living room. Rose still wasn’t up, and after five minutes of constantly shifting uncomfortably on the couch, he dashed downstairs and got directions to a nearby market. Within twenty minutes, he was back with a bag of groceries. He remembered enough about cooking to put together a decent breakfast. Rose clearly used her coffee maker, so he started working on making a pot to go with their meal.

The activity, much like the tracker, had kept him from having to think too hard about the situation. 

“Mmmm, that smells good.” The brunette smiled at him, or he had the sense that she did. “You never cooked like that for me.”

“For you?” He furrowed his brow in confusion.

“Nevermind. Doctor, what are you doing?” She leaned against the counter with her arms folded.

“I’m making coffee. At least, I think that’s what I’m doing. It’s been a while since I’ve made coffee. You know, humans brought coffee with them when they expanded through the galaxy-“

“Not the coffee,” she interrupted. “Well, maybe the coffee. You’ve got two anomalies open that are threatening the stability of two separate worlds, and you’re making coffee.”

“Yes, but I do expect it will be really good coffee.”

She rolled her eyes. “Doctor, tell me, why are you working so hard to fix things with Rose?”

The Doctor scowled as he poured water in the coffee maker. “Does everything have to be analyzed? Perhaps I owed her. She helped me. Then she helped my duplicate. Now she’s alone. She was my best friend. Should I just leave her here like this?”

The brunette looked at him. “That was a long time ago. And she seems to be a very resilient woman. Everything ends, Doctor. The question is, do you still love her?”

Sitting motionless, he listened to the coffee maker sputter and cough. 

“I don’t-“   
He stopped mid-sentence as he heard the sound of the bedroom door opening.

* * *

Rose walked out into the living room, and looked around slowly. He was still here. She found herself exhaling a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

“Good morning,” he said cautiously.

Her eyes moved from him to the coffee pot, now silent and full. She said nothing, but walked to the kitchen, took a mug from the cupboard, and filled it. After taking a slow sip, she headed to the small dining table near the kitchen and sat down. She watched him, saying nothing.

He quietly gathered all the breakfast items and placed two plates on the table with a rack of toast between them. Going back to the kitchen, he gathered cutlery for the two of them and sat down across from her. She marveled for a moment at how different this Doctor was. Her Doctor would not have been able to remain silent for so long, and certainly not when he was feeling nervous. If he was feeling nervous. In some ways, she felt she had been able to read ‘Jamie’ much better than this man.

Rose had no idea what she wanted to say yet, so she started in on her meal. It was quite good. Surprisingly so. She was still finding it difficult to look at him, but he was watching her steadily from underneath those eyebrows as they both ate. By the time she finished breakfast, she had been able to collect at least some of her thoughts.

“I’m going to ask a few questions, and I want the truth from you. All right?” She stared at him, an unspoken challenge in her eyes. 

He nodded and tilted his head, looking at her appraisingly. 

“Did you come here to find me?” she asked.

“No.” Ouch. That hurt. On some level, though, it was what she had expected. She nodded to herself. He was still watching her with an unreadable expression.

“Why are you here?”

“I found an anomaly, a small hole that had been punched between... our world and here. Remember what I told you about the universes collapsing.”

“So why haven’t they collapsed?” She felt obliged to ask, but she found she only cared in a detached way. He had come to save the world, but not her.

“Well, I think that has to do with the device that was used. It’s sort of like… a hole punch. It leaves a very neat hole behind. The hole will break down in time, and the universes will still collapse, but not right away.” 

“Okay.” She sighed to herself. “Right. Okay.”

He looked up at her. She realized that he hadn’t smiled at her yet this morning, and it bothered her. 

“You got your questions. It’s only fair that I should ask a few now.”

She looked at him guardedly. “All right.”

“What happened to him, Rose?” His question was asked in an odd, stiff voice. It felt like he was picking at a scab on an old wound. She wasn’t coming undone, but the question hurt, coming from him.

Sipping her coffee, she gathered herself for the answer. She had never really had explain it to anyone. Not from the start. Everyone who had needed to know had been there when it happened. She tried to speak in a lighter tone, as though it would reduce the pain of it. 

“Well, funny thing. See, you left us on a beach here, like you planned. Then ran, I guess. And I never agreed to that plan, you know. He didn’t either, really. But still, it wasn’t fair to blame him. Even if he was you. We got along well together. Just like we always did. We got married. Then after a few years, things started going a bit wrong.” She stared out the window and sipped her coffee. If there was sympathy on his face, she didn’t want to see it right now.

“Wrong? What sort of wrong?” 

“Yeah. See, he explained to me… He was unique. You’d never done anything like that before, made anyone like him. So you didn’t really know for sure, did you, that everything would be okay.” She said it flatly. It wasn’t a question.

“And it wasn’t okay. He started to age. Not just at a human rate, but fast, too fast. He figured it out first, of course. Did some tests, used the Torchwood medical labs. No one else there could figure it out, just him. Cellular degeneration, he said. The regeneration energy you had put in the hand had dissipated, and the match between his human and Time Lord parts weren’t stable.” She took another minute to pull herself together. Her control was starting to weaken, and if she wasn’t careful, all the memories would come flooding back full force. The last thing she wanted to do was start crying in front of him.

“The thing is… Doctor. Strange calling you that, now. He told me it was all right. He was going to fix things. And I believed that, because he always had. Remember all the scrapes we got in? But he… you… well, you always managed something. So we took some time off. He wanted to travel the world. Said it was the next best thing to being in the TARDIS. We went everywhere, spent three years, always kept moving. And every day I watched him grow older. But he kept telling me, ‘It’s all right. I’m working on a device at night. I still don’t need as much sleep as you. It takes time, but it’s going to fix everything.’”

She finished her coffee and stared at the empty mug for a long time. Finally, she set it down with a sigh, and fidgeted with the fork lying on her plate.

“He was lying, Doctor. I mean, he didn’t fail, he just never tried. The device never existed. He knew from the start that there was nothing he could do. At the end, he told me. He said if he hadn’t lied, I would have spent three years fighting and searching for an answer. And there wasn’t one, or he’d know it. So he wanted to have three great years with me. And we did have three amazing years. The best.”

She looked up at him now, making no attempt to hide the rage and pain in her expression. Her memories of that anger from years ago mingled with her feelings of betrayal from her discovery yesterday.

“Maybe he was right. I don’t know. I wasn’t given the opportunity to think about it for myself. Because he lied to me. Just like you did, these past few days. What was your plan, Doctor? Were you going to tell me? Or just find a way to fix the anomaly and sneak away, tell yourself that I’m better off here?”

The Doctor shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t know. I… hadn’t decided what to do.”

She hated that the answer made her feel a little better. At least he didn’t know for sure that he was going to run. She didn’t really know his motives at all, she realized. Or how much time had passed for him since that day on the beach. 

Before she could ask, she felt her cell phone vibrate in her pocket. This wasn’t a conversation she wanted to interrupt, but her position at Torchwood came with some responsibilities. She pulled the phone out of her pocket and thumbed the answer button.

“Hi, what’s up?”

The Torchwood dispatcher told her that they were hearing reports of a ‘flying dinosaur’ in a nearby part of London. Rose was the closest senior agent located to it.  
“Yeah, okay. I’ll check it out. Right, thanks.”

She hung up. “Well, ‘Jamie’, looks like our day is starting a little early this morning. Dinosaur flyin’ about around London to investigate.” She walked into the bedroom, threw on her jacket and grabbed her keys. Was she really about to go out on a Torchwood case with the Doctor? It had been a long time. She shook her head and walked back out to the living room.

He wasn’t wearing the maroon coat now, she suddenly noticed. It was a dark blue coat, thrown on over a holey jumper. He smiled at her, the first time he had smiled at her all morning. “Flying reptile.”

“What?” 

“It’s not a dinosaur. You’re probably thinking of a pterosaur. But they weren’t dinosaurs.” He opened the front door and gestured gallantly for her to walk out first. She sensed he was enjoying the prospect of an absurd adventure with plenty of running. _Some things don’t change._

“Does that matter?” she said, as she headed out into the hallway.

“Well, probably not, but at least I can speak dinosaur.” He walked out the door after her, pulling it shut behind him with a click.


	10. Chapter 10

Outside of Rose’s apartment building, they hailed a passing cab and climbed in. Rose gave a set of cross streets about five miles from her flat, and the Doctor realized uneasily that they were very close to the location of the second anomaly. 

“Rose.”

“Yeah?” She had been looking out the window quietly, and didn’t turn around.

“The other night, after we left the pub…” He paused for a moment as she stiffened. “…when I got back to the TARDIS, it alerted me to a second anomaly being opened. It’s located very near the flying reptile sightings. The anomaly was tiny when I examined it, but it’s an interesting coincidence.”

Rose turned to look at him. “What, so the dinosaur… reptile… whatever, flew through the anomaly?”

He shrugged. “Perhaps the anomaly was somehow going into our Earth’s past. Or maybe not. When two strange things happen near each other, odds are that they’re related.”

She nodded, and turned back to the window. The rest of the cab ride passed in awkward silence. He would periodically glance over at her, open his mouth as if to begin speaking, then close it and go back to sitting quietly. He missed the easy rapport they had begun to develop when he was still ‘Jamie’.

He was relieved when the short ride ended, and they soon found themselves climbing out into a busy street and looking in all directions.

“Where do you think we ought to start?” Rose asked.

“Well… I’d say there.” He nodded his head toward a crowd of people clumped close together up ahead. There were periodic screams in that direction. The Doctor smiled for a moment, then began jogging toward the crowd with Rose in close pursuit.

It took a minute to push their way through the tightly packed people, most of whom had their phones out and raised to take pictures. It wasn’t hard to see why. A huge winged reptile with an enormous crest and dark red stripes was swooping back and forth across the street. Occasionally, it would land for a moment, stretch its wings and let out an ear shattering shriek. 

Rose looked around at the large crowd and shook her head. “This is gonna be a mess to clean up.”

“It’s a vortisaur,” the Doctor whispered, half to himself.

“A what?”

“A vortisaur. They live in the Time Vortex. I briefly had to enter the Vortex before I crossed the Void. My guess is that it followed me along the TARDIS’s path, then exited through the nearby second anomaly. Interesting, I didn’t imagine that vortisaurs could enter the void safely. Then again, I’ve never seen one that big either.”

“Right, okay. And didn’t you say the anomaly was tiny?”

“It was. I’m guessing someone expanded it. Probably got quite a shock when this cute fellow flew through.”

“Cute fellow?!” Rose exclaimed in disbelief as she watched the creature tear an awning off a building.

“We used to ride them back on Gallifrey, you know. I even had a pet one in the TARDIS for a short while. Didn’t work out too well. Probably should have settled for a cat.”

“Okay, so how do we catch it?”

“Hold my coat.” Slipping it off, he handed it a curious Rose. He strode over to a nearby shop window that had been shattered by the vortisaur’s claws. It was simple to pull a large, jagged piece of glass from what was left.

Before Rose could object, he rolled up the sleeve of his jumper and cut a large gash along his arm. Dark red blood welled up from the wound.

“Doctor, what do you think you’re playing at?” cried Rose in alarm. 

“This is how I caught Ramsay. Vortisaurs are attracted to chronal energy. A bit of time-infused blood, and he’ll be as gentle as a lamb. Or a lamb that’s about to turn at any moment into a bloodthirsty carnivore. That would be a very strange lamb.”

He walked out to the open courtyard, offering his bleeding arm to the creature. “Hello there,” he said soothingly. “Let’s have a taste of this, all right? Calm down and have a bit of a snack.”

The vortisaur screamed and swooped down to land in front of the Doctor. It tilted its head and eyed the bleeding wound. 

“Yes, that’s it,” the Doctor continued to talk to it. “Tuck in.”

The vortisaur leaned in and tasted the dark blood. Rose felt slightly nauseous. 

“That’s right,” the Doctor continued to coo. The vortisaur leaned in and began steadily lapping the blood.

“Oh, right, ‘cos that’s not creepy,” muttered Rose. 

The Doctor smiled. “It’s all right. The food will soon make him a bit sleepy, and-“ The vortisaur reared back and screeched loudly, a wild look in its eyes. “…or not.” The Doctor looked up at the beast looming above him, then back at Rose.

“Run!”

He started running full speed away from the giant creature, just as its beak came crashing down in the spot he had just occupied. Rose was right behind him. Without thinking, he reached back and grabbed her hand. They ran together into a small shop just as the vortisaur hurled itself into the window display, sending glass and mannequins in every direction.

The creature was having trouble fitting its entire body through the broken window, and Rose and the Doctor took the moment’s reprieve to duck down behind the cashier’s counter.

“Why didn’t it work?” Rose panted while the vortisaur’s head crashed around the room behind them.

“How should I know? I told you I only spoke dinosaur.” The Doctor poked his head up above the counter, and was rewarded by a deafening screech. “But just looking at it, I’d say it’s mad.”

“I haven’t had the best day either, but I’m not smashing up shops.”

“No, it’s mad - insane. Probably from passing through the void. Or from looking at some of the clothes in here. Is that dress meant to hypnotize your date?” He gestured at a nearby fallen mannequin in a black and white print.

“Doctor, can we leave the fashion opinions for later? What should we do next?”

“Well, after careful consideration, I’m in favor of not bleeding to death.”

Rose glanced down at him in alarm, cursing herself for forgetting the open wound in his arm. The gash was bleeding steadily, and his skin had taken on a slight pallor.

Ducking out from behind the counter, Rose scrambled to grab a piece of broken glass. The giant reptile spotted her, and renewed its efforts to reach her, its beak snapping only inches from her leg as she retreated.

Once back to the Doctor, she used the glass to quickly tear his jumper up the arm, cutting the sleeve into a single piece of cloth. Folding it, she applied pressure to the wound, already feeling the blood soaking into the fabric. She couldn’t help notice the feeling of his cool skin underneath her hand. She had almost forgotten that about him. Her Doctor had always been as warm as a human. 

She bit her lip, staring at his wound and silently thanking Pete for his insistence on first aid training. “We’ve got to get you fixed up before we can deal with that thing.” 

The Doctor had been watching her quietly, a half-smile on his lips. 

“All right.” He slipped his new screwdriver out of his pocket with his other hand, and aimed it at the wound. The gushing slowed and stopped.

Rose sat back on her heels, her jaw dropping in astonishment and irritation. “Why didn’t you do that in the first place?!”

“You looked like you were enjoying yourself.” He smiled at her with a look of satisfaction.

Rose snapped her mouth shut and glared at him. “How about we stop the thing that’s trying to eat us?”

“If you insist. Vortisaurs are attracted to chronal distortions.”

“The TARDIS?”

“Too far back to your flat. And I don’t need another passive aggressive cab ride.”

“Hang on, passive aggressive?!” she said indignantly. 

“Never mind. We can sit and pretend to ignore each other later. We don’t need the TARDIS for this. _We’re_ chronal distortions, Rose. Travelling in time has built up enough warped chronal energy around us to cause a permanent mild distortion effect. That’s why the vortisaur is following us, and not pursuing the crowd outside.”

“Righ', okay. So he’s going to chase us. Then what?”

“Well, no, I actually was thinking he would chase _you_.”

“Me? Why do I have to be the bait? What are you going to be doing?”

“Something brilliant, I imagine.”

Rose groaned. She knew how these plans tended to go. “All right, so I just what, look tasty then?”

“Yes. Don’t worry, you’re very good at it.”

Rose raised an eyebrow at the Doctor, who grinned at her. She steeled herself, then jumped to her feet and ran out from behind the counter.

“Oi! Over here!” She waved both arms at the vortisaur and then sprinted across the shop. Its jaws snapped closed just behind her as she leaped onto a display platform. She picked up a mannequin and thrust it at the reptile as it struggled to get its beak close to her. It was starting to wriggle through the broken glass of the window and into the shop itself.

The vortisaur struck again, this time shredding part of the mannequin. There was a blur from the shop counter as the Doctor leaped up onto the counter and across to the vortisaur’s back. It reared back, shrieking, as he wrapped his arms around its neck. He was struggling to stay on as it thrashed about, slamming him into the wall above the shop window.

“I used to know how to ride these things!” he shouted.

“Used to?” She wasn’t so sure about this plan suddenly.

“Oh yes, about 12 lifetimes ago!”

“Probably goin’ to get us both killed,” she muttered, then charged at the vortisaur yelling and swinging the heavy mannequin. It screeched as she hit it in the beak, but otherwise seemed unphased. She scrambled back to her platform just as it recovered. The Doctor was now climbing up to its head and seemed to be looking for a weak spot. 

Rose’s hip bumped a mannequin, and suddenly she recalled the alien gun in her pocket. She slipped it out and stared at it. It would be an easy solution to shoot the beast, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. It wasn’t the creature’s fault it was here, it had just been following the TARDIS. And she was worried she might hit the Doctor. 

“Doctor!” she yelled. “See if this helps!” She tossed him the weapon as the vortisaur moved in close to her again. The beast was almost through the window and would be on her in another minute.

The Doctor caught the weapon and looked at it, a grin spreading across his face. “On three, duck under something… One… two…” He leaped off the vortisaur and behind the counter again. “Three!” Aiming upward, he shot the ceiling a few times, and several chunks of wood and concrete rained down atop the vortisaur’s head. It slumped to the ground, unconscious.

Rose rushed over to the Doctor, her heart racing. She was still feeling the adrenalin rush, and grinned wildly to herself. Adventuring with the Doctor was different than the planned operations with Torchwood. Mad and heart-pounding. Just the way she liked it.

The Doctor was examining the weapon. “Standard Vicallik laser drill. Very handy for spot demolition. Have you been doing much construction on your flat lately?”

“Dad gave it to me last night... when I followed you.” She shifted awkwardly and looked down at the ground. It was uncomfortable to be discovered with a gun by the Doctor, even if it _was_ really a drill. “I only took it to make him feel better. He didn’t like the idea of me following someone on my own.”

She looked up, and was surprised to see the Doctor grinning broadly at her. 

“But why didn’t you use it earlier?” he asked.

“I forgot about it, till just before I threw it to you.”

“A great giant reptile, trying to eat you, and it never even occurred to you to use it, did it?” He was looking at her very intently now, still smiling. He lifted his hands to her shoulders gently. She looked up at him, uncertain.

“And that, Rose Tyler, is why you-” 

There was a throat clearing sound behind them. Rose turned and the Doctor let his hands drop. Brian Parker was standing by them. The Doctor wasn’t certain, but it seemed as though he had an angry glare on his face just before wiping it away with a broad smile.

“Looks like we’re here a little too late to help you much,” Brian smiled at Rose.

“Oh, Agent Parker. Yes, it’s under control now. Um, McCrimmon and I handled it. But there’s still plenty to be done. Please arrange for transport back to Core before it wakes up, and put someone on retcon and cleanup duty.”

“Yes, ma’am!” Parker smiled broadly at Rose and then at the Doctor, before hurrying off. 

“Guess that’s sorted then,” Rose commented, watching the swarms of Torchwood agents hurriedly wrapping the creature in nets and loading it into a large truck.

“Not quite. Let’s take a look at the anomaly.” The Doctor led Rose away from the crowds and around a corner. It didn’t take him long to find the alley where he had originally examined the second anomaly. There was only one problem. The tear in space was missing.

The Doctor scanned the alley repeatedly with his screwdriver. “It’s completely gone. If I weren’t looking for it, I wouldn’t have guessed anything had ever been here.”

Rose frowned. “Are you sure it was here?” He gave her a long look and put away his screwdriver. 

“We need to get back to Torchwood and see if the first anomaly is gone.”

“And what if it is?”

“Then until I can recover that device, there’s no good way back into the other universe.”


	11. Chapter 11

Rose was secretly relieved when she and the Doctor were hustled into separate cars back to Torchwood. Several senior agents had been clustering around her, giving her updates, and it was natural for her to wind up in a sedan with them. Now she finally had the chance to take a breath and think about things.

Once again, the Doctor had managed to turn her life upside down in only a few days. The world was being threatened, someone was running around with a device capable of bridging dimensions, and she was completely confused about what she thought of this new version of the man she had loved. 

This Doctor was more rough around the edges than her last one. He reminded her a little more of the first Doctor she had met, easy to snap at the ‘stupid apes’ around him. _Passive aggressive?_ It still irritated her to think about that comment. Yeah, she hadn’t wanted to talk to him, still angry at the lie of his arrival. Maybe a bit hurt, too, that he hadn’t even come to look for her. Perhaps he was right. But it was still bloody rude.

She rubbed her head. As angry as she had been with him last night, catching the vortisaur had been just like old times. The running, the mad plans, or maybe the lack of plans. She had forgotten how much she missed it all. And that moment afterwards. What had he been about to say? And why did she have to care so much? She was angry at herself. It had taken her long enough to create this life in a new world, and he had just swept it away like he was knocking the pieces off a chess board. 

What if he’s trapped here? Worse, what if he isn’t? She wasn’t sure how she felt about either outcome. Well, no point in worrying about it now. They had a universe to save.

* * *

The Doctor climbed into the black town car with a scowl. He had wanted to go with Rose, but she had hopped into another vehicle, swept off by a bunch of nattering lackeys. She probably still didn’t want to talk to him. _Can’t really blame her._ He had changed so much. What if he had changed too much for her this time? He patted his jacket, vaguely wondering if he had a handy dialogue card for their next discussion. _What would it say? “Sorry I left you on a beach with my clone and went away for a thousand years. Want to hang out/save the universe/get chips?”_

An agent climbed into the seat next to him. It was Brian Parker. The Doctor rolled his eyes. That was all he needed. He studiously ignored the agent, who was happily chatting about the cleanup with the other agents getting into the car. The car started up and moved toward Torchwood.

“All right, McCrimmon?” Parker asked cheerily.

“Oh yes. Never better. I wonder, do you think it’s safe, to fall out of a vehicle moving this quickly?” The Doctor left a hint of irritation in his voice.

“Uh, no, I wouldn’t think so.”

“Food for thought, I suppose.”

“Er, well, I meant to say great work, bringing that beast down.”

“I didn’t really bring it down, the ceiling did. I brought the ceiling down. So where do you intend to keep it?”

“Well, it goes into containment from here until we figure out what to do with it.” 

There was a long pause. The Doctor stared out the window, attempting to let the conversation drag to a halt.

Brian leaned forward, a conspiratorial smile on his face. “So I hear you managed to get Rose Tyler out to a pub the other night. That’s record setting, that is.”

The Doctor turned and lowered his eyebrows. “We were looking for somewhere to talk.”

“Right, right. So there’s nothing going on between you two then? Only I figured, she’s a little young for you.”

The Doctor slipped his hand into his pocket and thumbed the sonic screwdriver. The car’s radio began to blast a punk song at a deafening volume. 

_**IT WAS HERE IN THE OUTER LIMITS  
IT WAS OH SUCH A LONG LONG TIME AGO** _

Agent Parker turned toward the front of the car with alarm. The two agents in the front were futilely jabbing at the radio controls. The car began to swerve a bit as the distracted driver tried to help.

_**I WAS SO HAPPY, HAPPY IN THE OUTER LIMITS  
I JUST NEVER WANTED TO GO** _

“Pull over!” bellowed Parker, and the driver maneuvered unsteadily through traffic to the curb. The car stopped and as the agents were focused on the radio, the Doctor calmly climbed out of the car and started walking in the direction of Torchwood.

“McCrimmon! Wait!” The Doctor was already halfway down the block when Parker came running after him. 

“Look, McCrimmon, I just wanted to say I hope I didn’t upset you back there. Just a bit of fun.” Agent Parker reached forward and squeezed the Doctor’s shoulder, looking at him intently.

The Doctor suddenly felt an odd sensation, as though he were listening to the conversation from ten feet away. He sensed a shadowy thing hovering around the edges of his telepathic shields, lurking and gently probing at them.

He looked at Parker sharply. Parker had gone quite pale, and took his hand off the Doctor’s shoulder. 

“It’s fine, Parker. No harm done,” the Doctor replied calmly, eyeing the other agent. The other man nodded and slowly backed away a few steps.

“Right, well,” said the agent, recovering a little. “I’ll see you back at HQ then. Better help these lads sort out that broken radio.” The Doctor nodded and Parker hurried away.

* * *

Rose was sitting in her office when the Doctor arrived at Torchwood. 

She looked up at him. “What took you so long then?”

“A bit of car trouble.”

“Oh, sorry about that. I was just catching up on a few things. The vortisaur is down in containment… basically a big room. It looks like they’ve worked out a sedative for it.”

“I can return it to the time vortex later. But for now, I think we’d better go check the first anomaly in Warehouse B and see whether it’s still there.”

“Warehouse B? You didn’t tell me it was on Torchwood grounds. I guess that’s why the TARDIS was in the closet.” She paused, thinking about it. “Wait, do you think the thief is related to whoever created the anomalies?”

He nodded. “Yes, exactly. The anomaly likely was created in the warehouse because the device that made it was being stored in the warehouse.”

“So the thief took the device from us? And how is that related to the other items that were taken?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t see a connection. Maybe the thief is much, much cleverer than I am. Unlikely. So perhaps he’s just covering his tracks. If a bunch of holes in reality opened up, and only one thing had been stolen from the warehouse, you’d probably think that was the cause.”

“Makes sense. Well, let’s go see that anomaly.”

They walked down together to Warehouse B. Harold greeted them both with a smile and they headed towards the back where the Doctor had first detected it.

“Gone,” said the Doctor. “Just like the other one. This is very, very bad.”

“Well, if the hole is closed, does that mean that the universe is not in immediate danger then?”

“This reality isn’t, but I’ve no idea if the anomalies were closed in the other world. Not without returning there. We still need to find the device.”

“Hang on, if the hole is closed on this side… well, wouldn’t it stand to reason it would be closed on the other side too?”

“No. Understand that the two realities are like a cosmic sandwich. And the void is in the middle. It’s the cheese and pickle. You can cut a hole through the sandwich, but seal only one slice of bread. The other still has a hole in it and pickle leaking out, understand?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Good. I’m getting hungry.” 

They stopped by the cafeteria and picked up sandwiches for lunch. A few minutes later, they were back in Rose’s office. “I’m gonna make you a badge, so you can get in and out without driving security crazy.” Rose sat down at her computer and opened up the personnel files. She began making up information to fill out his profile. “Pete will have to approve it before it goes active, but we’re going to have to talk to him anyway.”

“Oh good, I’m sure having more family members involved won’t complicate this further.” The Doctor took a bite of his sandwich.

She gave him a mocking smile. “I think you’re just afraid of running into Mum again.”

He polished off his sandwich, licking the crumbs from his fingers. “Rose, can I ask you a question?”

She froze, and noticed her heart was beating a little faster. Why did he still set her on edge so easily? “Yeah, sure.” She bit her lip.

“What do you know about Agent Parker?”

“What?” She wasn’t sure what she had thought he would ask, but this wasn’t it.

“Agent Parker, how long have you known him?”

“Oh.” She frowned, thinking about it. “A few years, I guess. He’s a good guy, always one of the first to jump in and help. Very popular around Torchwood in general.” She paused and looked at the Doctor a moment. “Asked me out a few times too, after… But I wasn’t feeling ready for that. Why?”

“I had an odd encounter with him on the way back. It almost felt like something was trying to get around my mental shields, but if he was telepathic, I’d have known.”

“I’ll print up his file and we can take a look if he’s been tested for any psychic ability. My… Doctor taught me a little about telepathy.”

“Oh?” That made sense. Anyone he was that close to was likely to have had some telepathic contact with him. He felt slightly envious of his duplicate.

She was blushing now. “Anyway, he taught me how to do a bit of shielding. Told me, sooner or later we’d run into a telepathic race. So we practiced a bit, but I haven’t felt anything like that since then.”

“It’s worth keeping an eye on Parker. I still think the thief came from inside Torchwood.”

Rose shrugged noncommittally. “Sure, if you like. But Brian’s always been a good guy, and a good agent. Saved my life on a couple of missions. I’m sure Pete’s considering him for a promotion. I don’t know why he’d want to screw that up.” She finished entering all the personnel information. “Well, guess it’s time to go upstairs.”

* * *

Blake looked at the Doctor curiously, but buzzed them in without comment. The two walked into the Director’s office. Pete was sitting at his desk working, and looked up as they came in.

“Rose, I read the report about the dino-” he stopped as he saw the Doctor walk in behind her. “Hello.”

Rose looked back at the Doctor with concern. He was regarding Pete with a serious expression. She turned back to her step-father.

“Hi there. I wanted to introduce you to… ah, Jamie McCrimmon. You’ll see his name in the report on the dinosaur.”

Pete stared warily at the Doctor. “I saw it. I did wonder about that. Well, sit down. Rose has had a lot of good things to say about you.”

The Doctor relaxed slightly, giving Rose a small reassuring smile, and sat down in one of the chairs by Pete’s desk. Rose took the other.

“Dad, I have to tell you something…”

“That this is the Doctor?”

She looked startled. “How did you know?”

“Love, you’ve only ever looked that way at one man. Well, two men. I watched you spend years with that Dimension Cannon, trying to get back to him. You follow him last night, don’t call me, then tell me to trust you the next day. Blimey, I can already see you two eyeing each other.” He paused and looked at the Doctor. “It’s good to see you again. Now tell me, have you come to take away my daughter?”

The Doctor leaned back in his chair. “Oh, I thought I’d pop by for tea, and then stop your reality from falling into a formless void. Why, do you want me to take her away? Has she been bothering you?”

Rose spoke up hurriedly, her face red. “Dad, someone has been opening holes between worlds again. We think it may be the same person who was robbing the warehouses. The Doctor has come to sort it.”

Pete frowned, looking over at her. “Do you have any leads on who's doing this?”

“Well, we do think it may be the same person as the warehouse thief-” Rose began.

“Do you know Brian Parker well, Pete?” the Doctor interrupted. 

“Agent Parker? Yes, he’s one of our top agents. I’ve been considering him for a promotion. Only a few years, and he’s doing as well as some of our more senior agents. Saved Rose several times. You don’t think he’s involved?”

The Doctor smiled politely. “No, no, of course not. We’ll be looking around a bit further. Good to see you, Pete.” He stood up and walked out the door, with Rose close behind him.

* * *

Back in Warehouse B again, Rose found herself holding a large canvas bag which the Doctor filled with parts he pulled seemingly at random from various crates.

“Mind telling me exactly what we’re doing?”

“Building a tracker. I told you about the tracker? No? Well, I built about half of it last night while you were sleeping. It’s a simple idea. Something like a dimensional hole punch would need to build up an enormous amount of energy capable of warping reality before it actually created the hole. So this device would detect when a build-up of that magnitude was happening, and let us track its origin.”

“So we’d know when someone was opening a hole before they opened it?”

“Assuming they open another one. I’m sure they will.”

At last the Doctor looked over the heavy bag and nodded to himself with satisfaction. “I should be able to build the rest of this by tomorrow, and then it’s just a matter of waiting. Time to go home.”

“Home?”

“Well, your home. I did park the TARDIS there.”

Rose started to feel irritated with his assumption. “Hang on, I never said anything about sharing my place with you.”

He stopped and looked at her. “No, you didn’t,” he said softly. “Is it all right?”

The anger dissipated as he regarded her from underneath his shaggy eyebrows. “Um, yeah. It’s all right. I just wanted you to ask, is all.”

He nodded, and Rose waved down a cab. On the way back to the flat, the Doctor talked non-stop about various alien races and odd adventures. It was unclear which had happened before he met her or after he’d left her. She suspected he just wanted to avoid the silence.

* * *

Back at the apartment, he stopped his chatter. Without it, there was nothing to fill the quiet room, and she began to wish he’d start up again. All he was doing was leaning against the wall and watching her with those blue-grey eyes.

“So, um, I’ll just get some take-away, then, yeah?” she asked him, biting her lower lip.

“All right,” he answered, then lapsed back into silence. She knew they had a lot to talk about, but she suspected neither of them were eager to start. 

Rose dialed a Thai restaurant downstairs and quickly listed an order into the phone. “That all right?” she glanced at him. He nodded. She hung up the phone and put it in her pocket. Sitting on the couch, she nervously tucked her hands under her. Thirty minutes until the order was ready. _Great._

He sat patiently with her, giving her his full attention, but still saying nothing. It wasn’t what she was used to, she supposed. Her first Doctor had been eager to escape his demons with actions. Her second, with words. Well, sitting here was getting them nowhere. It was up to her to bite the bullet and start asking him some of the questions that had been nagging her since she discovered his identity.

Rose took a deep breath. “I've spent over ten years here since that last day on the beach. But you've regenerated. How… how much longer has it been for you?”

He smiled at her again, but it was a sad smile. “About a thousand.”

She stared. “What? A thousand years? Mental. It’s always mental with you.” She shook her head. It was when he said these things that just for a moment, he seemed truly alien. “You… you weren’t alone that whole time, were you?” 

He shook his head. “No. I had friends, companions. I was married… sort of. It was complicated.”

Married? She felt rather uncomfortable with the idea, but it seemed unfair to judge him after a thousand years. And she had been married too, after all, even if it was to him. She collected her thoughts, trying to figure out what she wanted to know next.

“How did he… you… die this time?”

“I sacrificed myself for a man. Not a consequential man, as far as Time was concerned. But a good man. I had radiation poisoning. It let me survive… a little while. I went and saw some friends. Mickey. He got married, you know. You were last. I saw you on New Year’s Eve, 2004. Do you remember?”

Rose frowned. “That was just before I met you. 2004… yeah, I missed that party. I was walking along with Mum and… wait. I remember it now. That man, I thought he was drunk, but…” She teared up, realizing what she had actually witnessed.

“I wanted to say goodbye, Rose. I couldn’t reach you here…” he shook his head.

“And then you regenerated like you are now?”

“No, there was one in between. That was the bulk of the years that passed. This life is more recent.” 

Rose felt lost, listening to all this. So much time had passed. How could he possibly feel the same way anymore? She was still angry about him leaving her on a beach, and that was ancient history for him. It left her at a loss for words. She glanced at her watch.

“I’ll get the food,” she volunteered. She needed the time to herself.

* * *

The Doctor watched Rose leave the flat. She didn’t seem angry with him anymore. Worse, she seemed to have retreated further into herself. He knew that she had needed the answers, though.

He got up and paced the apartment, pondering Pete’s earlier question. It had nagged at him, even as he had dismissed it. If he recovered the device, fixed the anomalies, and was able to depart before closing them, what would happen to Rose?

The brunette was sitting in an armchair, hugging the cushion on it.

“There’s really no winning with you, is there?” she asked.

“Winning?”

“Before, you were upset that Rose was angry and wouldn’t speak to you. Now she’s speaking to you, and you’re worried about that.”

“I shouldn’t take her away from her family. She has people who care about her here. And what can I really offer her in the end? I will still outlive her.”

The brunette rolled her eyes. “Right, because working herself to death at a job while you’ve ruined dating anyone else for her is a vast improvement. Admit it, this isn’t about her. This is all about you.”

“I can’t… I don’t want to go through losing her again.”

The brunette nodded. “I know. Before you spend too much time dwelling on that, you might consider that Rose hasn’t actually asked to go with you.”

The Doctor frowned. That thought hadn’t occurred to him and now that it had, he found it extremely disturbing.

The doorknob rattled and Rose came back in with a bag of Thai food. For a while, over dinner, he was able to forget his worries. He told her a humorous story about a sentient race that bore an unfortunate resemblance to spaghetti, and she was soon laughing and smiling again. The tension dissipated.

They cleared up the food, and Rose stretched and yawned. 

“I think I’d better get some sleep. Hopefully tomorrow we’ll have the tracker up and running?”

“Yes, I think so. I’ll get the parts sorted out tonight.”

They smiled awkwardly at each other, and then turned to their respective doors – she to her bedroom, and he to the room the TARDIS was parked in.

Before he could walk away, she suddenly stopped.

“Doctor…”

“Yes?”

“Back at the shop, just after you knocked out the vortisaur, you were going to tell me something. But Brian interrupted you.” She looked nervous.

He studied her for a moment. She looked so lost, and he didn’t want to add to the confusion in her life. Her vitality drew him helplessly towards her. He thought back to her spirit and bravery, not just this morning, but so long ago. She was looking down at the ground in the silence. Reaching over, he put his hand under her chin and tilted her head up. He felt his breath catch, just looking at her. 

The words came out softly. “I was going to say that you, Rose Tyler, are so very extraordinary.”

She stared up into his blue-grey eyes. They were not as hard as her first Doctor’s, and not the mischievous gaze of her husband’s, but these eyes, more than any of the others, felt like they cut right through to her soul. She was barely aware that she was holding her breath until he lowered his hand and stepped back.

“Good night, Rose,” he whispered, smiled softly, and left the room.


	12. Chapter 12

Every morning since he had died, Rose woke up to the realization that her Doctor was gone forever. At first, coping with that fact had seemed insurmountable. There were days when she never wanted to get up at all. But with the support and love of her family, she did start getting up. Eventually she started leaving the flat. And then finally, returning to work. Some days, the grief would still strike her unexpectedly, and she would just lie there and let the tears roll by until she was able, once again, to face the day. Over time, those bouts had been further and further apart. After her night at the pub with ‘Jamie’, she had woke up feeling more relaxed than she had in years. But today was the first morning in five years that she had woken with a smile on her face.

She didn’t want to read too much into it. But it was hard not to remember the Doctor looking into her eyes last night, his gentle touch on her chin. The details of the moment played over and over in her mind. How did he feel about her? She never really could tell. On one hand, she had been convinced he was in love with her back when she had been exiled in Pete’s World the first time. Hadn’t he been about to say it? But the second time, he had left so suddenly. Sometimes she wondered if it would ever be possible to bridge the enormous gap of time and experience between the two of them. Maybe they were just best friends. It was hard not to feel more than that.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the buzz of her phone as it vibrated on the nightstand. The screen flashed the name ‘Jackie Tyler’.

“Yeah, Mum?” she said absently, as she picked up the phone.

“Rose? You all right? You haven’t been drinkin’, have you? Listen, I’m calling to see what time you’re coming over this afternoon. I really need your help for the party tonight.” Her mother seemed to be capable of talking without taking a breath.

“Party?” Rose was starting to wake up. A party… her mum had said something about it last Sunday. Another Vitex affair. Even though Pete was head of Torchwood, he still kept up his public position as the CEO and figurehead of Vitex Industries. And Rose, as an ‘heiress’, was generally expected to put in an appearance. 

“Oh, come on, Rose. I told you about it last week! Honestly, mind like a sieve sometimes. Anyway, you’re not gettin’ out of it, so better find an outfit. Formal, like. What time are you coming over?”

“Um, how does 3 sound?”

“All right. Better get up and eat somethin’ then, or you’ll be useless when you get here. Tony’s already been drivin’ me mad all morning, but he’ll settle down if you come by. See you at 3.” 

Her mum hung up and Rose tossed the phone onto the bed and lay back. Another night of sleeping well. She reached across to the empty side of the bed, and rested her hand there a moment.

“You’d understand,” she whispered. “No one knew him better than you.”

* * *

“You’re going to _what_ this evening?”

“A party. At Mum and Dad’s. It’s a company affair, for Vitex. They have them a lot. Like the party when… when we first came here.”

“Hopefully this one is more entertaining than that one was. As I recall, it ended badly.”

“So you’ll go then?”

The Doctor looked up from the pieces of the tracker that he was leaning over. “Well, they say misery loves company.”

Rose sighed. That was probably the best she’d get out of him. At least he was agreeing to go. 

“It’s formal, by the way. I have to find something to wear, but I wanted to help with the tracker this morning.”

The Doctor smiled. “It’s been a while since you’ve been in the wardrobe room. Why don’t you just go pick something out?”

Rose sat back and looked around for the first time since she had walked into the TARDIS this morning. Even with all the redecorating, it still felt so natural to be in here. It hadn’t occurred to her just how long it had been since she had walked through the TARDIS’s many rooms. It made her a little sad. 

“Yeah. I’ll do that. Thanks.” 

He grinned and returned to tinkering with the parts. She could tell he was happy, sitting there and working. When he wasn’t running, he was often at his happiest solving some puzzle, whether it was building a new machine, or fiddling with the TARDIS itself. She hadn’t seen him so relaxed since he got here. 

She got up and headed out of the console room into the TARDIS’s labyrinthine hallways. It didn’t surprise her too much that the wardrobe room wasn’t where she remembered it. But the TARDIS was accommodating, and she only went through the swimming pool, library, and one of the storage lockers before she found it. As always, the TARDIS had clothing hung on long, revolving racks. There was quite a variety of women’s clothing, which used to amuse her, but now made her feel vaguely uncomfortable. Eventually, she came across a gorgeous evening gown in black lace. It fit her perfectly, and she spun around several times in the mirror. She debated going out and showing it to the Doctor, then decided she’d save it as a surprise for the evening and switched back into her jeans and t-shirt.

She draped the dress over her arm and left the wardrobe room, but things seemed to have moved around again. Instead of finding the console room, she ended up at a door. It didn’t look significantly different from the other doors in the hallway, but she had a sense of familiarity. With some trepidation, she opened it and looked in. 

It was her room. The room she’d kept her things in, slept in, every day when she lived on the TARDIS. A room she hadn’t seen for ten years. As she stepped through the doorway, a dozen different emotions flooded into her mind. What struck her most was that the room hadn’t changed. Not even a little bit. Everything was as she had left it, including the makeup left out on her adjacent bathroom’s counter. Seeing all the details really brought home just how long it had been. It didn’t feel like just yesterday. The clothes were the sort of thing she wore back then, but not now. They were clothes for someone lighter hearted, who didn’t mind attracting attention once in a while. A pink and purple coverlet. She’d given up on so much pink back when her Doctor had moved into the flat. And the pictures… there were photos pinned up on a board over her little desk. She had regretted leaving them behind after the Doctor had last departed. But the photographs were still in the places she had left them. Pictures of her and her first Doctor, pictures with Jack, with Mickey, with her second Doctor. What struck her most was her expression in each photo. Giggling, laughing, grinning with her tongue stuck out, teasing expressions, and sometimes mock-angry or eye rolling ones. 

Back then, there had been plenty of peril. There had sometimes been frustration or tension with the Doctor. But there had been so much joy. She knew her life these days had not been the happiest, and she deeply missed the precious years she had spent on Pete’s World with her Doctor. But she had forgotten just how much joy there had been every day on the TARDIS. It had been such a short period of her life, but those years were the most vivid in her memories. She sat on the bed, lay her dress next to her, and let the tears run down her face. Tears for a home she had lost.

* * *

The Doctor glanced up at her as she walked in, dress slung over her arm.

“Found something?”

“Yeah, thanks. You added a macaroon dispenser?”

He smiled. “Snacking stimulates the creative parts of your brain.”

“What, really?”

“No. Want to come help me with the tracker?”

She draped the dress over a railing, and walked over to where he had the pieces laid out. They were halfway assembled. This was a familiar routine to her, helping the Doctor with some project or other. When she had first traveled on the TARDIS, it had always bothered her that she didn’t know what anything was. She had thought the Doctor was showing off in some way when he asked her to help. Sometimes she really had felt like a ‘stupid ape.’ Now, looking at him through more experienced eyes, she realized that he had just wanted the company.

“Pass me the Holophon Compression Circuit. No, not that one. The roundish thing. Well, it’s more roundish than it is square. The one with the little knobs. No, the other one with the little knobs.”

He added the new component with a whirr of his screwdriver, turning the entire assembly over to examine the other side.

“There’s something out of place here, Rose.”

“Well, I can’t even identify the Holo-whatever, so I don’t think I’ll be of much help.”

“No, not with the tracker. With the anomalies. Someone opens an anomaly, a hole between two worlds. And then they open another one, a few days later. Then they close both of them. The question is, why? You open one door and then you close it, that’s just a mistake. But opening a second door? No. That’s deliberate. And then closing them both. What purpose does it serve?”

“I don’t know. Maybe they’re just figurin’ it all out. Experimenting.”

“Possibly. One was opened, and then later made wider. I found that anomaly well before that vortisaur showed up, and it was much too small for a creature like that to come through. I think our mystery person came back and made the hole bigger. So why close it?”

“Maybe they got scared when they saw the vortisaur. Like they knew it would attract attention, so it would be better to do it somewhere else. Somewhere away from Torchwood agents.”

“Good, good. Now we’re getting somewhere. But why open them at all? And if they closed them on this side, did they close them on the other side? If they only closed them because they were afraid of attracting attention, then it seems likely they will open another one, probably in a hidden location. Or it would be hidden, if we didn’t have this gadget.” He smiled with anticipation, and looked up at Rose. She was beaming back. He loved working with her again.

* * *

The Doctor paced around Rose’s living room. They had completed the tracker that morning, had lunch, and then Rose had disappeared into her room to ‘get ready.’ He didn’t really understand why that took so incredibly long. Was getting on a dress really so difficult? He had read the Odyssey while waiting, and still she wasn’t done.

He stopped and looked at himself in the mirror. The tuxedo looked good on him, he was sure of it. He smiled at his image. 

“You think you’re so impressive,” commented Rose, walking up behind him. He hadn’t heard her come out.

“I _am_ so impressive,” he grinned back. The echoes of words spoken years ago warmed his hearts. He turned to face her, and froze.

Rose was wearing a beautiful black lace dress, the thicker parts of the lace placed to emphasize strategic locations. The fabric under the lace was flesh colored, but slightly sheer to emphasize her body beneath. Elegant black heels added to her height, and her blonde hair had been swept up and off her shoulders and twisted into a delicate coil at the back of her neck. Her makeup had been touched up. Not too much, just enough to emphasize her large eyes and full lips.

The Doctor stared at her for an extra moment, then added softly, “But not as impressive as you.”

She smiled, her whole face lighting up. The Doctor felt both hearts beating rapidly.

“We should go,” she said, almost shyly. “Mum’s expecting us early.”

He nodded, not trusting himself to speak further, and offered her his arm. She took it, and they headed downstairs to the Vitex limousine that was waiting outside.

* * *

Jackie Tyler was on edge. Over the past thirteen years, she had grown comfortable with living in a mansion and her newfound wealth. It amused her when people recognized her while she was shopping in the cities. But she had soon found that her new role as a wife of an enormously successful CEO was not without responsibilities.

She was expected to be the social arm of the couple, making sure that all the right people met each other or were invited to various events. And then there were the parties. Elaborate parties thrown several times a year for a variety of occasions. The parties were treated as a reflection on the health of the company, and her ability to throw a successful party was far more important than she ever would have suspected.

So she was often agitated most in the last few hours before the party, questioning whether everyone necessary had made it to the guest list, making sure the details weren’t being overlooked, that the food was just right and there was ample drinks. And most importantly, that her own family made an appearance.

God knows getting Tony into a tux had been a chore, but he had given in when she offered him more screen time that weekend in exchange for his best behavior. Next was Rose. She hoped Rose was on time. Rose hadn’t enjoyed going to these events since the Doctor had passed on. Even when he had been alive, he had always ended up creating some sort of chaos, offending the wrong person or letting some sort of embarrassing information drop at the wrong time. But he could also be very charming, and some of the guests would ask her about him for years after meeting him. Jackie had forgiven him most things, because in the end, she could see how he and Rose had only had eyes for each other, and he had always taken care of her daughter.

She’d been worried about Rose since he died, no mistake. And now Pete had told her last night that he was back. Back with a new face. She worried, about the dangers that inevitably followed him, about what circumstances could have led him to come back, and most of all, about how this would affect Rose. It was no wonder, with all this worry, that she was making a right hash out of these party plans. She hoped Rose arrived soon.

The doorbell rang. She paused, waiting for the sound of the maid answering the door. It rang again.

Jackie poked her head out into the hall. “Sophie? You gonna get that?” There was no answer. She shook her head. “Honestly.” Jackie walked down the stairs and over to the front entrance.

She pulled the doors open. On the front step stood Brian Parker.

Jackie smiled broadly. “Brian! Come in. Only why didn’t you say you were going to pop by?”

Brian smiled at her and stepped in the door. “Well, you know me, Jackie. Always like to surprise you. And I figured you’d need help setting up for the party.”

“That’s awfully nice of you, Brian. Come on into the kitchen and have a cuppa.”

They entered the kitchen and Jackie began bustling about, getting a kettle filled and on the stove. “I’m glad you turned up. Sophie’s disappeared. I swear that girl is always running off. Worse than Rose, she is.”

Brian put his hand on Jackie’s shoulder. She froze a little, holding the kettle and staring off into space. “Jackie, have you heard that The Doctor has come back to see Rose? I see that you have. That’s a shame though, isn’t it. Remember what it was like last time he left?”

“Last time?” Jackie said, confused. He moved his hands up to her temples.

“Yes, remember last time. When she first lost him. She wanted to kill herself then, didn’t she?”

“No, Rose never-“

“Yes she did. Remember. Took all those pills And you and I found her, and we got her to the hospital. Remember? I always helped you. We took turns staying with her and watching her, and she still tried several more times. Remember.”

“Yes, I remember…” Jackie’s voice was a whisper now.

“And then again, when her husband died. She tried it again, didn’t she? She almost jumped off that bridge, only I stopped her, didn’t I? And you spent months with her before you were certain she wouldn’t do it again. Remember, remember, remember.”

“I remember. God knows it was hard,” Jackie said brokenly.

“The Doctor should leave, before he hurts Rose again.” Brian released Jackie’s head and stepped back from the stove.

“Oh, what am I doing? Staring off into space. Not getting enough sleep, what with all the planning for this party. Shall I put on the kettle?”

Brian smiled. “Actually, no thanks, Jackie. Pete wanted me to check on the security around the estate. I’ll just take care of that and go.”

“Well all right, if you’re sure. You’re always welcome here, Brian. You’re a real help. Like part of the family, you are.”

Brian smiled brilliantly. “Anytime, Mrs. Tyler.”


	13. Chapter 13

The trip to the party was much more comfortable than their last cab ride. Rose seemed willing to talk now, if not about personal subjects, then at least about various Torchwood missions that had happened over the years. As they relaxed in the limousine, she pointed out relevant landmarks along the way. The Doctor listened with half his attention, chuckling at all the appropriate places in the stories, while the rest of his focus was spent on quietly calculating how much the size of the recent anomalies would have destabilized this world, how much they would be destabilizing his original world if they were still open there, as well as what size of an anomaly would be required and for how long to cause one or both worlds to fall into the void. He did not like the answers he came up with; they were too close for comfort. 

Was Agent Parker behind this? Certainly he had tried to make mental contact of some sort with the Doctor when he had approached him on the way back from capturing the vortisaur. But was it intentional? Susan Kopecky had been sitting in her office blasting enough mental power to temporarily ‘deafen’ any telepath without shielding training. Something made him uneasy about Brian Parker. Maybe it was the way that Rose and Pete had spoken about him, in almost identical terms. A good agent, saved Rose’s life, considering him for a promotion. But why would he create an anomaly? He was still missing something, and time was running out.

“Maybe you’re just jealous,” commented the brunette, who sat opposite him in the limousine. Her face was no more visible than usual, but she was dressed for the occasion in a long, dark blue, embroidered dress with embellishing cut outs. 

_Don’t be ridiculous._ He scowled, then wiped the expression from his face before Rose could notice.

“Oh really? After the way she was looking at him in the cafeteria? And why wouldn’t she? Saved her life several times, I hear. And he’s a good looking guy.” She smirked.

_Nothing a punch in the face wouldn’t fix._

“I see. So you’re all in then?”

_Am I?_

“Well, you’ve pretty much gone from how much you want to avoid Rose, to what a good friend you are, to worrying about losing her, and now, dressing up and flattering her.”

_Didn’t I make you up? I didn’t think I rambled so much._

The brunette shook her head. “You didn’t have many compliments for me, Doctor, but when you did, it took a little more than a nice dress. You’re going to have to admit your feelings eventually. And if you get this anomaly fixed, you’ve got a deadline.”

He frowned and stared hard at the brunette’s face. It remained irritatingly out of his grasp. _Who are you?_

The brunette immediately vanished, and Rose’s chatty voice along with the rest of the world came flooding back in. “So that’s when ten weevils burst right out of the alley, covered head to toe in marmalade, and Jenkins… Doctor, are you all right?” 

He realized he had been silent too long, drawn into his own inner doubts. Frowning for a moment, he couldn’t help but wonder how he could forget a face. 

“The mansion looks the same,” he commented, hoping to distract Rose. 

Rose paused a moment, trying to follow the change in conversation. “Yeah, well, turns out Mum’s tastes were a lot like the Jackie who lived here. Funny, that. She’s added a bit here or there, but a lot of it’s just as it was. Well, after it all got fixed up.”

The limousine pulled up smoothly in front of the house, and they got out. Setup for the party was fully underway, and several trucks were also parked near the front of the house, with workers busily carrying in and setting up tables, chairs, and canopies in the back yard. 

“I wouldn’t have expected it, but it turns out Mum’s actually good at running these parties,” Rose said. They walked around to the back of the mansion, and found Jackie arguing with a worker setting up a canopy.

“Well it’s not right, is it? There were supposed to be three tents,” Jackie complained loudly to the harried looking man.

“Look, I have two tents on the truck. It says two on my clipboard. You want a third, you’re going to have to call the office. Now d’you want me to set up the tents or not?” The older workman glared at her.

“Always some excuse with you, isn’t it? Well, I’m not paying for it. When I order three-“

“Mum!” Rose cut off her mother before the argument could escalate. 

Jackie turned, smiled, and hugged her daughter. “Rose! I wasn’t sure you’d make it.”

“I said I would, Mum. That was only this morning.”

“Well, you never know. You’re always busy…” she paused, looking at the Doctor. “…with Torchwood business.”

Rose glanced back at the Doctor, who smiled reluctantly, managing more a sort of a grimace. “Hello, Jackie.”

She marched up to him, looking him up and down. “Pete told me you were back. You look good in the tux, only I didn’t think you’d look so much older.”

“Yes, well, we can’t all carry off advanced age as well as you do, Jackie.”

Jackie glared at him. “It doesn’t matter what face he has, he’s still got cheek.” She softened a little. “Well, all the same, it’s good to see you. Come here.”

She reached out for a hug and he looked horrified as she grabbed him. “Ah, great to see you too, but I don’t really do hugs. Really. Why don’t we just go back to the complaining?”

He struggled out of Jackie’s grasp, and Rose hurried to distract her. “Mum, why don’t you tell us where we can help out most?”

The two women had a quick discussion about the setup for the party, and Rose took the Doctor inside to a comfortable living room. She sat down on the couch and kicked off her heels. Watching her relaxing with unconscious grace in her evening gown, he found himself restless and unable to join her. He stayed instead near the window, glancing out periodically at the preparations.

“There isn’t much for us to actually do,” Rose said. “Especially all dressed up and all. Mum mainly wants to make sure I’m on time, so she tells me she needs some help and to come early.”

“What a pity. I was looking forward to arranging little sausages into portraits of world leaders.” She did look amazing, and every movement made him catch his breath slightly. He should sit down next to her. They had a couple of hours to occupy themselves, after all…

“Rose!” A teenage boy around thirteen years old strode into the room. He had blonde hair, shaved at the sides and bright blue eyes. The boy was wearing a tuxedo, but his tie hung undone and his top two buttons of his shirt hung open.

“This must be Tony. He has Jackie’s sense of timing,” the Doctor commented.

Rose grinned and jumped up to give her brother a hug. 

“You haven’t been around much lately,” Tony said, slightly accusingly.

“Well, you know how things at work go…” Rose looked a little guilty. “Tony, I’d like you to meet someone.”

Tony looked up and stared at the Doctor appraisingly. “Is this your date? If you’ve finally brought a date, Mum will go mad with excitement.”

“Well, he’s…” Rose paused, searching for a simple answer.

“Her date, yes. And I’ve already met Mrs. Tyler.” Rose looked at the Doctor, surprised at such a definitive answer. 

Tony grinned. “Well, Mum’ll be over the moon. I think I finally have a good moment to ask her for a raise in my pocket money.”

Rose looked uncomfortable. “Yeah, maybe hold off a bit on that, Ton’. So, how’s school going?”

The two began to chat with each other, catching up while the Doctor looked around the room. Tony’s presence made him uncomfortable, a sharp reminder of the family that Rose had built in this world while he was gone. After a few minutes, he excused himself to look around a bit. Rose looked at him curiously, but was too embroiled in her conversation with Tony to break it off easily.

His discomfort only increased as he wandered the mansion. Mantles and shelves with knick-knacks held family photos, many of which featured not only the Tylers, but his duplicate self. It made sense. He had not just been Rose’s husband, but a son-in-law and brother-in-law as well. In a strange way, in this world it felt like he was the clone, an impostor walking into a life that he had not put in the time to build.

With a growing sense of claustrophobia, he headed upstairs and wandered until he found a balcony that gave him a good view of the sky. It had grown dark, and looking up at the stars was soothing, even if they were in slightly different positions than usual. He was not meant for this planet-bound life, but was Rose?

* * *

“Penny for ‘em.” Rose had walked out onto the balcony to join him. It had been a little over an hour. The tracker had not blipped at all, and the backyard had grown increasingly busy as the infrastructure for the party had been completed and the guests had begun to stream in.

She stood next to him, her hands gripping the railing next to his own. Their fingers lightly brushed each other.

“I figured Tony would only ask more questions if I stayed.”

“Yeah, he asked plenty anyway. I just told him you and I had bumped into each other at work, and got to talking while we worked on a case. Tony… he loved him, the Doctor. It really tore him up when he passed on. I think that’s why Mum and Pete didn’t tell him about you. Might confuse him.”

“Right. Mum’s the word.”

“Anyway,” she drew a deep breath. “He’ll be all right, he’s a good kid. You know, it’s been sort of nice to have a little brother. I never got to have siblings growing up.” She smiled to herself. “But right now, we have a party to attend.”

The Doctor smiled at her, admiring once again the practical woman she had become. He offered her the crook of his arm, and she slipped her hand through it. Together, they left the balcony and headed downstairs.

The party had already grown busy. The attendees were well dressed, and Rose explained that most of them were business contacts, and occasionally political leaders who were invited because of their notability. 

“Mum also got a kick out of bein’ able to invite rock stars or other celebrities. I haven’t gone to as many parties lately, but we used to enjoy them, after we first got here.”

He noticed she wasn’t pausing so often when she mentioned his other self. She seemed to be growing a little more comfortable speaking about her past with him. They browsed the buffet, and after they had eaten, the Doctor fetched them both flutes of champagne.

He raised his glass to her. “To reunions… long overdue.” He clinked his glass with hers, and her large brown eyes watched him with mixed emotions. They both finished their glasses. There were entertainers that had been hired for the party all around them. A magician and juggler were entertaining groups of people to one side, and a band played nearby.

“Nothing on the tracker?” Rose asked, as they walked near an open area set up for dancing.

“Nothing. It won’t be long, though. Whoever is doing this is anxious for it to happen.”

“You think?”

“Yes. The time between the creations of the first two was too short. Anyone with a long range plan would have kept their head down.”

“Well… might as well enjoy ourselves while we wait, then.” She smiled and pulled him out onto the dance floor. It was a little surprising that he didn’t object, but followed her out and slipped naturally into a position to dance closely.

He watched her from beneath his lowered brow and stared down at her, a half smile on his face. Staring up at him, she found herself thinking again that he was quite attractive. She wondered how much of her attraction was his appearance, and how much had been spending the past several days with him. She wasn’t quite sure how she felt, but old feelings had definitely awakened. After thirteen years, she had forgotten the constant uncertainty she had always felt with him, convinced that he loved her, but not really sure what that meant for him.

Still, dancing slowly to the music, it was easy to put those thoughts aside and just enjoy being in his arms. This version of him was quite a good dancer, steady on his feet and not given to the sudden fits of energy her husband had often had. While they danced, she enjoyed his intense focus on her. She felt as though, at this moment, she was all that existed in his world. His eyes took in every part of her, and his hand gently stroked her back as they swayed to the music. As the music slowed, she rested her head on his chest, and felt him breathing in the scent of her hair. His hearts thumped a two beat counterpoint to the music.

The song ended, and the band announced a short break. They stepped apart from each other and applauded. It felt as though a spell had broken, but she noticed his eyes still lingered on her, and he was unusually quiet. Rose glanced over his shoulder and saw her mother gesturing vigorously at her. She sighed. It looked like the fun was over, at least for the moment.

She rested her hand on his arm. “I’m going to go around and chat, socialize a bit, or I’ll never hear the end of it from Mum.”

“Ah. Well, I think I’ll wait by the bar, if it’s all the same to you. I am generally done with social functions right about the time the person talking to me opens their mouth.”

She grinned. “That’s all right. I’ll just be a bit.” She was a little surprised to find she was being honest. Her Doctor had always been chatty at parties, and seeing him wind people up had made her social obligations less tedious, even fun at times. But she could tell this Doctor was a different sort, and if anything, his bluntly cynical attitude better suited the Rose she had become. She knew his words weren’t just a hollow plea to find his own entertainment, and he would still be waiting for her, patiently, once she had tended to her duties at the party.

* * *

He ordered a scotch at the bar and leaned against it, watching Rose maneuver through the crowd. It was difficult to take his eyes off of her. When they had danced, he had been so very close to kissing her. But he hadn’t, and the moment had slipped away.

_Coward._

He wondered if he would have another chance tonight. And if he did have that chance, he would take it this time. A leap of faith, no more second thoughts. He watched her make an older couple laugh, her smile brilliant even across the room. She absent mindedly tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear, and for a moment, he thought he had never seen her look so beautiful. His Rose.

His reverie was interrupted by a tap on the shoulder, and the grating voice of Rose’s mother.

“Enjoying the party?”

He winced slightly. “Well, the bar has improved my mood.”

“You’re even ruder than the last one, and that’s sayin’ something. I need to talk to you in private.”

He was about to refuse since he had promised Rose he would be waiting for her, when she added. “There’s something you need to know, about Rose. While you’ve been gone.” He froze and looked down at Jackie. She looked uncharacteristically serious, and his curiosity was piqued. Glancing over at Rose in the crowd, it was clear it would be a while yet before she was done. He nodded to Jackie and gestured for her to lead him away.

 

She moved quickly around a beautifully sculpted hedge to another side of the mansion where a small gazebo stood. The music was muted here, and they were out of sight of the milling crowds.

“I’m goin’ to be straight with you. If it weren’t for you, I’d never have had a second chance with my Pete, and I’d still be back in that tiny flat in the Estates. Rose has always been infatuated with you, no matter what you looked like. And god knows I never knew what you two got up to during all those years of travellin’. But what Rose feels for you, it isn’t healthy.”

His eyebrows lowered into a ferocious scowl, and she held up her hand and continued before he could speak.

“I always said I’d protect you both until the end of my life. And that’s what I’m doing right now, protecting both of you. You need to know what happened while you were gone.”

“Go on,” he growled.

“After she was stuck here, the first time… She just couldn’t handle it. Took a bunch of pills, and it was lucky she made it through. There were other times too, Doctor. She was just broken without you. That’s why Pete put so many big brains on that dimension cannon. Then we all came back, and she had him, and it was all right. But once he was gone, she was even worse off than she was before. Gave up all hope. Almost went off a bridge, and I had to live with her for months. She wouldn’t leave that flat… Now she’s finally getting better and… you see what I mean? It’s all right now. But what happens the next time she loses you? Can you tell me that’s never going to happen again? Just look at the life you lead.”

The Doctor stared at Jackie silently. His hearts clenched. Rose had promised to stay with him forever. But could he promise her that? How many companions had he left behind over the years? And if he left Pete’s World, she wouldn’t even have her family for support.

He turned abruptly away from Jackie and strode out of the pavilion, leaving her standing and staring helplessly. He strode into the dark, in the unlit back gardens of the mansion, focused only the deep black of the night.

“I’m sorry,” whispered the brunette, walking a couple of paces behind him and struggling to keep up. “I know you’ll do what’s best for her, even if it means losing her.”

“Of course. I’m not a winner, I’m only a survivor, remember? But sometimes I am very, very tired of just surviving.”

* * *

Rose returned to the bar with a smile. The Doctor was standing there, waiting for her, just as she knew he would be. As she approached him, her smile faded. Something felt odd about him. He was standing a little more stiffly. The look that had been in his eyes all day, every time his eyes lingered on her, had disappeared. He smiled, but it looked forced.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, as she stopped next to him, gesturing to the bartender for a glass of wine.

“Wrong? Nothing. Why would anything be wrong? Besides your world about to fall into the void. But sure, let’s skip over that. Maybe I ate a bad shrimp.” 

Rose looked at him, confused. She hadn’t spent enough time with this version of him yet to really understand what his changes in mood meant. 

“Um, okay. Any news with the tracker?”

“No, not yet.”

So that wasn’t it either. She tried again. “Well, looks like I’m free for the evening now, my work here’s all done. Fancy another dance?”

“No.” She thought she saw a flash of pain in his eyes, but if she had, it was quickly replaced by a neutral expression. “I think maybe I should make an early evening of it. But you go ahead and enjoy yourself and I’ll let you know if the tracker picks up anything.”

She started to feel anger building, and realized she had reached her limit. He was obviously lying about nothing being wrong, and she was tired of playing games with him. Perhaps he was a thousand years older than when she had last spent any time with him, but he was still incapable of being up front with her. She felt mostly angry at herself. This should have been obvious when he’d lied about his identity. He hadn’t changed.

Rose looked up at him, her eyes darkened with rage. “Make an early evening of it? You obviously don’t want to tell me what’s going on, and I didn’t need you to cross universes just to lie more to me then disappear. At least you didn’t leave me on a beach in the middle of nowhere this time.”

She turned and stalked off towards the house. He cursed and hurried after her.

“Look, it’s never that simple, you know that,” he pleaded. 

She walked inside the house, then stopped abruptly when she was out of view of the crowds outside. “No, Doctor. That’s exactly it. It’s never that simple with you. When I was younger, I found that exciting. But now I wonder whether it’s just another way of running. That is what you do, isn’t it?”

He opened his mouth to reply when the deafening wail of an electric guitar pealed through the hall. 

Rose covered her ears and yelled above the din, “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?”

He fumbled through his pockets and yelled back. “THE TRACKER! SOMEONE’S CHARGING UP THE DIMENSIONAL HOLE PUNCH!” He took out the screaming device, and aimed his screwdriver at it. “AND, I… may have accidentally left the volume up.”

She stared at the now-quietly blinking device. “I’ll get a car.”


	14. Chapter 14

“I’ll get a car.”

The Doctor nodded, and Rose hurried away. She was relieved the argument had been interrupted. Slipping off her heels, she ran upstairs to the spare room her mother set aside for her when she stayed. Fortunately, she had left several sets of clothes here, and quickly slipped out of her dress and into jeans, a t-shirt, and a pair of trainers. She cursed the minutes she was losing, but figured she would make them up by not tripping and breaking a heel while looking for a universe-threatening alien device.

Back downstairs, she grabbed a set of car keys off the rack in her father’s office. Asking her father would mean more questions, and probably being assigned a less than useful backup. She knew from experience that the Doctor worked either by himself, or with one or two assistants. An entire team would get in his way at best, and get themselves hurt at worst.

Heading back to where she left him, she gestured for the Doctor to follow her to the large garage attached to the mansion. They climbed into the leather seats in the front of a black Lexus, with Rose in the driver’s seat. She had more experience with this version of London, and the Doctor was staring at the still blinking tracking device.

“The tracker’s pointing southeast. Mostly east.”

“Right.” She started the car up and opened the garage door, speeding the car down the mansion’s long driveway and out into the city. Traffic got heavier as she got into busier areas, and she saved most of her focus for how to dodge the worst of it.

It was silent in the car for a long time. She still felt angry at herself, and had plenty of fury left over for him. But she didn’t feel like dwelling on it right now. She was getting some of the familiar rush of excitement from being on an adventure with the Doctor. Was this what the core of their relationship really was? These times always seemed to work best with him, she reflected. There were no complications when they were rescuing the world, no difficult discussions about how to stop an alien threat, and no arguments over new places to explore. They were a well-oiled machine, in perfect sync with each other, ready to see the universe and save it on the way. Maybe it was better to just focus on what worked. She wished she were content with that. Maybe she could be, given time. 

The Lexus was soon quietly gliding through an industrial neighborhood. The poorly lit streets were mostly empty, with the occasional pocket of homeless settled in for the night. There was more trash on the sidewalks here, and it was difficult at times to tell the buildings still in use apart from the abandoned ones.

“This is certainly a better location for privacy if you’re worried about releasing a maddened vortisaur. Most landlords require a deposit for that,” the Doctor commented, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, still creepy though,” Rose said. 

“Oh come on. This isn’t even in the top ten of creepy yet. What about the deep space sanctuary base? Ghosts and Charles Dickens? That’s not even touching on gas masked children looking for their mothers. This? This is just-” He paused as the tracker began blinking wildly, and Rose slowed to a halt in front of a large brick building. “…An abandoned electricity generating station. Monster under your bed level creepy. Your great-aunt’s candy from the bottom of her purse creepy.” With a broad grin, he hopped out of the car and tucked the tracker into his pocket, pulling out a candy and popping it into his mouth.

Rose opened the glove box and grabbed a flashlight, then followed him out of the car, shaking her head with a reluctant smile.

A chain link fence surrounded the lot the building stood on, keeping out vandals, squatters and curious wanderers. The lock had already been opened, Rose noticed, though it had been left hung on the chain holding the gates closed so at first glance it still appeared to be locked. She pulled off the lock and the chain swung free. It was a simple matter to open the squeaking gate.

“Well, looks like someone’s already here,” she said.

“The tracker levels indicated they weren’t fully powered up yet. Opening another anomaly would be a terrible idea. We really ought interrupt the device before that happens.”

“Right, yeah. And how do you think we should do that?”

“I haven’t the faintest idea. Come on.”

He turned and headed into the yard, Rose following him closely. It was much darker in here than on the street, and she felt herself jumping at every little sound. Graffiti covered the brick walls. Some of the windows were smashed, but on the whole, the old brick building was surprisingly intact.

They threaded their way around a number of smaller outlying structures to the large central edifice itself. It was a two floor building with boarded up windows. There was no obvious sign of entrance, and the Doctor stopped by a drain pipe snaking its way up the side of the building.

“Right, up you go.”

“Up there?”

“Unless you’ve got a jetpack hidden under your t-shirt.”

“Righ’.” She looked up, and wiped her palms against her jeans. Grabbing hold of the cold metal pipe, she began to pull herself upward. Fortunately, the old worn bricks provided sufficient spots for her to get a toehold, and she found herself moving upward at a slow, but steady clip. From the sound of the cursing and movement below, the Doctor was right behind her.

“Keep it down, will ya?” she hissed down at him. She was relieved when the pipe snaked sideways over to a smaller roof that jutted out from the top of the first floor. Climbing over onto it, she paused a moment to pant with relief. Never a dull moment with the Doctor. Wasn’t that just what she had been feeling good about in the car? 

With a thud, the Doctor landed on the roof behind her. 

“Like a ninja, you are,” Rose teased, her tongue between her teeth as she grinned. 

He had an inscrutable expression on his face, and he took a long moment to answer. “What? I’m wearing a dark jacket. You’re lucky you can even see me.”

She rolled her eyes. “A tux doesn’t make you invisible. Kind of the opposite, really.”

He crept over to the nearest boarded window and ran his screwdriver along it. The nails popped out one by one until he was able to pry a corner well away from the frame. Inside, a metal walkway was suspended just underneath the window. He climbed through, holding the board open for Rose to follow.

She carefully entered through the gap, and quietly lowered the board closed. The catwalk ran around the outer edge of the generating station, giving a view of the aging machinery below. Obsolete long ago, it had been left to rot inside the closed station. Over the years, people had stolen most of the easily removable parts. 

It was difficult to move around the catwalk without making a sound. In the large, echoing space, even the smallest of noises seemed amplified hundreds of times. By unspoken agreement, neither tried to speak aloud to the other. When Rose spotted a small, bobbing light between two of the large machines below, she tugged on the Doctor’s sleeve and pointed. He nodded and they slipped quietly along a side branch of the catwalk, taking them closer to the light below.

They heard a low whistling echoing up at them. Freezing in place, they saw the darkened figure of what looked like a night watchman. He was strolling along the aisles between the machines, pointing his torch down the gaps between them and tunelessly whistling an eighties song as he went.

Not their target. They waited quietly until he moved away, then stole further along the branch of the catwalk, and continued to traverse the room. They watched the night watchman wander across the room and walk out one of the side doors. It closed with a low boom. 

It was just them now. Or was it? As they continued to creep forward, they heard a ‘click’. The Doctor gestured for Rose to head to the right, while he continued straight ahead. 

She crept off down the path he had indicated, grateful she had taken the extra time to change into comfortable clothing. Climbing along catwalks came with the territory when you traveled with the Doctor. Traveled with…? He hadn’t asked her to come along when he left. And maybe, after the way he had suddenly done an about face earlier this evening, he didn’t intend to. If he didn’t bring it up, would she ask him to take her along? Her stomach churned a bit, and she pushed aside the emotions that threatened to distract her. 

She heard the ‘click’ again, up ahead. Creeping along more slowly now, she focused on not making a sound. Down below, she saw what she was looking for - a shadowy figure. It looked like a man, and it was holding a device that was softly glowing. He seemed to be fiddling with it as though he weren't entirely familiar with how to use it. She looked up ahead into the gloom, her eyes trying to make out the Doctor, but she didn’t see him. Now what? Looking around, she spotted a branch of the catwalk that was only a short drop above one of the generators. Rose inched back slowly toward it. 

As she moved, she saw another person on the ground floor approaching the man with the device. _Oh no._ It had to be the Doctor. Going it alone wasn’t the best idea he’d had tonight. She tried to hurry faster towards her destination without alerting her quarry.

“Hello! Yes, you. You in the shadows. The one intent on punching a hole in space and time.” Rose groaned inwardly as she heard the Doctor’s voice echo in the enormous space. The shadowy figure froze, and turned to look at the Doctor. For the moment, the Doctor stood illuminated by a shaft of moonlight streaming in through a high window. He was holding his hands up in a calming manner as he slowly advanced on the figure. Rose continued to inch over to the portion of the walkway just above the nearby generator.

“Right now, I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt. I’m saying to myself, perhaps you don’t realize you’re going to destroy multiple worlds by opening another hole in space.” In response, the shadowy figure flipped a switch on the device. A high pitched whining sound emitted from it, and the glow increased, although not enough to illuminate the face of the man holding it. 

“I’m going to take that to mean you do realize the consequences of your actions. Which is unfortunate. For you, I mean. These worlds are under my protection. I’m the Doctor, by the way. And I Will. Not. Let. You. Harm. Them.” Rose could practically hear the Doctor spitting out the words in the voice of the Oncoming Storm. She felt a shiver along her arms. This wasn’t going to end well. While the shadowy figure was distracted, she slipped her legs through the railing and prepared to drop onto the generator below.

The man facing the Doctor laughed, although Rose thought she detected a slight tremble in the sound. He reached down to trigger a button on the device, and the Doctor bolted forward at a run. The man turned and fled, the Doctor behind him. Rose dropped down onto the generator and landed in a crouch with a loud thud. Running along the top, she leaped off the end and landed on the fleeing man, knocking him to the ground. The dimensional hole punch went flying out of his hands and hit the metal wall of a generator. A few sparks flew out and the glow dimmed. 

Rose grabbed the man’s jacket, trying to hold him down, but he was larger than her and quite strong. He slammed an elbow back toward her solar plexus. She managed to block a direct hit, but the impact was enough to leave her gasping. The man staggered to his feet, and Rose stood to follow. She swung at the figure, catching him on his jaw. He reeled back. Just then, she caught sight of his face in a shaft of light.

“Brian?” she gasped. 

Brian swore, lunged forward and grabbed the side of her head. “No. You didn’t see me here, remember? You’re just too focused on the past, Rose.”

Her thoughts of him blurred and dimmed. Suddenly, she found her mind awhirl with a dazzling array of every moment she had spent with her husband during her five years with him. Overwhelmed, she slumped backward sightlessly. She didn’t register the footsteps as Parker bolted away.

* * *

The Doctor reached her just as the figure picked up the dimensional device again. He skidded to a halt and glanced at the man several feet away, then down at Rose, who was now sitting, clutching her knees in tight to her chest and just staring. Staring with tears running down her face. The Doctor cursed as the man fled the scene, knowing he could not leave Rose like this.

“Rose? No, no, no. Rose?”

Crouching down in front of her, he looked closely at her. She didn’t even register his presence. It must have been some sort of mental attack. Brian Parker, he was certain. Gently, he pried one of her hands loose from her knee, and held it in his own. She was whispering softly to herself, over and over. He leaned in to listen. “Don’t go, don’t go,” she repeated to herself.

He swallowed, trying to suppress the rage he felt toward Parker. Focusing on Rose’s pain, he leaned in, gently pressing his forehead against hers and closing his eyes.

In a moment, he was adrift in a storm of memories. Parker had made quite a strong attack, and it was a testament to Rose’s own mental strength that she was still conscious and fighting it. The Doctor felt as though he stood in the middle of a whirling kaleidoscope of memories, flying past without rhyme or reason, battering at his own psyche as they cascaded by. He strengthened his mental shields, and pushed his way through them. As he did so, it became clear that all the memories were of him. Well, not of him, but of his clone. Every memory she had of him was in pure chaos, and it was tearing her mind apart. He had to find Rose – the core of her that housed her being, every little quirk, thought, and idea that defined her.

Shoving his way through memory after memory, he searched for her. She was here, somewhere. The memories themselves wore on him, even shielded as he was. Some of the moments were fun, or thrilling. Others were deeply personal, embarrassing or tender. He felt ashamed to be witnessing them, like a peeping tom in her brain. This was not something he had ever wanted to do without her permission, but just now, he had no choice. All he could do was try to avoid focusing on the memories as much as possible.

And then, finally, there she was. He pushed past a particularly closely clustered set of memories. His final days. He looked so old, and so happy. The Doctor realized that the clone had accepted his fate, and had been content to share his final days with Rose. Past the memories, he found her, crouched in the same position her real body had been, clutching her knees to her chest. He moved in closely to her, calling her name.

“Rose… Rose…” She didn’t look up. “Focus on me, Rose. It’s the Doctor. Your Doctor. Look at me.”

She looked up at him, her eyes tear-filled and uncomprehending. “He’s gone,” she whispered to him. “I didn’t want him to go, but he went anyway.”

“He is,” he said thickly. “He’s gone. But you aren’t. There is so much else in this world beyond him. So much for you to see and experience. And he would never have wanted you to lose that.”

Slowly, clarity returned to her face. She saw the Doctor for who he was now, and he knew he would be able to lead her out. He helped her stand, and her mental-self clung to him, hugging him tight. Being this close to her mind, it took every ounce of mental strength not to be drawn into her, to become one. This was not the time, nor the place for that, if indeed there ever would be. Pulling back slightly, he took her hand, and led her through the maelstrom and back out to sanity.

* * *

As Rose slowly became aware of the world around her, she realized she was sitting in a ball on a cold concrete floor. The Doctor crouched over her, his face next to hers as though he had just pulled away from leaning in close. He was holding her hand tightly. She was grateful for the contact, and let him help her up. 

“Thanks… thanks for that. I don’t know what happened.” Her voice shook. She could feel her eyes sting from crying and makeup left her face sticky and uncomfortable.

“Psychic attack of some sort. It’s a good thing you were taught some mental shielding. It could have been much, much worse.”

“He got away,” she said flatly.

“Yes.” The Doctor paused. “I had to stop.”

“He… he went in my head. So many memories… You saw them?”

The Doctor squeezed her hand hard to keep her from sinking back into her thoughts again. “I did. I’m sorry. It was the only way to bring you out.”

She nodded to herself, feeling pure rage toward her attacker. “When we find him…” she trailed off.

The Doctor nodded. His eyes had turned cold. Whether she found the culprit first or the Doctor did, Rose knew her attacker wasn’t long for this world. 

Glancing toward where the device was dropped, the Doctor noticed something on the floor. He walked over, leading Rose behind him. She noticed he would not let go of her hand, so she went along, walking close behind. He leaned over and picked up a small metal piece, and glanced at it.

“Well, the good news is that he won’t be creating any anomalies in the near future,” he announced, smiling slightly. He showed the piece to Rose. “A tri-conic relay connector. If he isn’t from around here… and he probably isn’t, then he can create another one of these given time and the right parts. But we won’t give him that time.” He pocketed the piece.

She sighed with relief. Some amount of mental recuperation was needed right now. “But if he can’t use the hole punch, how are we going to be able to track him? We’re no closer to figuring out who is doing this.”

The Doctor frowned. “I have my suspicions about his identity. And I think, Rose, he will go on the offensive. He hasn’t completed whatever he was trying to accomplish. I doubt he’ll just run. Let’s get some rest for now. We wouldn’t be able to confront him tonight until your mental shields have been replenished.”

“Yeah, okay.” She suddenly felt exhausted and dizzy. The Doctor was right, she wouldn’t be much use in the state she was in at the moment. He slid his arm around her to help support her, and assisted her out of the building.

As they stepped out the door, they heard the sound of footsteps running up. Rose tensed, but it was merely the night watchman coming to investigate the ruckus in the generator building.

“Hey! Come here, you two. This is restricted property, or didn’t you read the sign before you broke the lock open?”

The Doctor irritably reached into his pocket and pulled out his psychic paper.

“Oh, Inspector is it? Something going on in here?”

“Organized Crime Unit. We were investigating the break-in here. Had a report the scene was being used for an arms deal. Suspect got away, but PC Simmons here is hurt, so I need to get her back to the station. No time for chatting. You might want to think about getting some dogs in here. Breaking in was child’s play.”

The night watchman’s ears turned red. “Uh, yes, Inspector. I’ll do that. Anything I can do to help?”

“No, just lock up behind us.”

The Doctor led Rose carefully to the car, opened the door, and helped her into the passenger’s side. She slumped back in relief, and after a moment, he climbed into the driver’s seat. Using his sonic to start the car, he began driving back toward Rose’s flat.

As soon as the car was moving, he reached over and took Rose’s hand again. Rose felt too tired to have a conversation, and perhaps he sensed that, because he didn’t speak at all on the drive back. He held her hand continuously throughout the drive, unwilling to let go of her even for a moment. He parked the car on a street near her building and led her up to her flat, his arm supporting her again. 

Once inside, he guided her to the couch. She gratefully leaned back and closed her eyes for a moment, letting the terror and adrenaline of the night wear off. It seemed like only a few seconds had passed, but when she opened her eyes again, a steaming cup of tea was sitting in front of her, and the Doctor was sitting next to her on the couch, holding her hand again.

“I really am all right,” she lied.

He ignored the statement. “I called Pete and let him know we went to investigate a lead on the thefts, and that it was late enough that we wouldn’t be returning. You won’t need to deal with any calls until tomorrow. Also, I set your phone so that any calls from Jackie tonight will be routed to Shanghai. I could always make that a permanent feature.” 

She picked up the tea with her free hand, sensing that he was still unwilling to release her. The tea was flavored with a light, delicate spice that she had trouble placing. 

“Mmm. Thanks for the tea. What is it?”

“A mixture I acquired at the Garazone Bazaar. It will help you regain your mental strength. Rose, I’m sorry. This was my fault. I didn’t think he would attack you.”

“Why not? Because I’m a woman? He didn’t strike me as the chivalrous type,” she said.

“No. I think the thief is Brian Parker. And for whatever reason, he has shown a definite interest in you.”

“Brian? Doctor, you’ve gone a bit mad. Brian wouldn’t hurt a hair on my head! He…”

“…Saved your life a number of times. Yes, I’ve heard. I don’t really know what his motives are yet. But he was testing my telepathic defenses when I was heading back to Torchwood from catching the vortisaur, and now you’ve suffered a powerful mental attack. I doubt they’re unrelated.” The Doctor’s eyes had gone cold again, and he squeezed her hand tight.

“I didn’t see Brian tonight, and I was close enough to punch that bloke. He looked familiar, but… I don’t know. It wasn’t Brian. I think it’s a stretch.” She paused, feeling the fatigue hit her again.

“You need sleep now, Rose.” The Doctor stood and helped her up from the couch, leading her into her bedroom and over to the bed. “In the morning, we can work this out.” 

Rose sat down on the covers. Suddenly, she was afraid of being alone. The thought of the memory assault returning as she slept was terrifying. She was still holding the Doctor’s hand. He looked reluctant to let go, but was glancing toward the door.

“Rose, I can do some research tonight. See if there is something we’ve overlooked. I want to find this man. I need to - if the TARDIS is going to be able to cross back to the other dimension.” Despite his words, he did not release her hand.

“We’ll find it Doctor. You won’t- I won’t let you get trapped here.” It made her uncomfortable to say it, but she meant it. “Doctor, I- I’m scared. I don’t want the memories to come back tonight. I don’t think I could hold it together.” She felt ashamed to say it, but he nodded.

“That’s completely normal after an attack like that,” he replied. “You’ve actually handled it amazingly well.” He looked conflicted. She wished she understood what the conflict was.

She looked up at him with large, dark eyes. "Please stay with me... just for company."

There was a long pause. “Of course,” he finally said. He smiled slightly, but his eyes were sad. “I’m here for you.”

He let go of her hand and sat down on the bed. She smiled, slipped off her shoes, and curled up on the bed fully clothed. After removing his own shoes, jacket, and tie, he moved to the other side of the bed to lay down beside her. Feeling the cool weight of him on the bed next to her, she finally began to relax. Just before sleep had crept upon her completely, she felt him reach up and take her hand once more.


	15. Chapter 15

The Doctor sat, leaning against the headboard and watching Rose as she slept. It made his hearts ache to watch her lie there, and not hold her the way he'd like. He was already afraid that staying here with her all night would further her attachment to him, but he was too concerned about her relapsing after the mental attack to leave. 

"Tell yourself that all you like, but I don’t think you can keep away from her." The brunette leaned against the vanity nearby, touching up her make-up on her faceless visage.

He didn't respond. 

"It's not even satisfying saying I told you so,” she added. “I'm only vocalizing _your_ thoughts. You knew this would all go pear shaped as soon as you ran into her. But you thought you could get through it. You didn't realize-"

_What didn't I realize?_ He looked up and stared at her, his eyes tired from his sleepless concern for Rose. 

The brunette refused to answer. "Tell me, Doctor. Why do you travel with them?"

_I don't do well alone. It's irritating enough talking to myself right now. Why would I want to do that for thousands of years? And they help remind me..._

"Of what?"

_…Of how important individuals are. It is so easy to cast aside the lives of millions, billions... Entirely too easy. I don't think many of them would hang around if they realized how easy it really is._

"So you want friends, and you want a conscience?"

_Draw your own conclusions._

"But Rose isn't that. Or rather, she is and more."

_If you say so._

"Your companions remind you that lives are valuable. But Rose reminds you that **you** are valuable."

_I never said she had good judgment._

Rose stirred on the bed beside him, and he looked back at her. He had seen many beautiful people across countless millennia. She was not the most dazzling, but she was the only one that he could watch for hours, studying every line and shadow on her face. He wondered at these feelings. She was a child by comparison to him. It embarrassed him on some level that he felt this way at all. But hadn't he saved the human race over and over to protect feelings as simple, but profound as this? 

Before Gallifrey had returned, he might have said he was unworthy of unconditional love. Now it was back, and his current incarnation was born as he released that burden of guilt. But neither could he return to being the simple adventurer he had been before the Time War. He had taken on the mantle of Earth’s protector, and it felt disingenuous to expect a reward for that. Especially when he ultimately did not believe himself to be the pure of heart savior that many wanted to think him. What if Rose was as mistaken as they were? 

When she was 19, he had been willing to let her make that mistake. After all, most teenagers found an imperfect hero to idolize whether it was him or someone else. But this time, he would be taking her permanently away from her friends and family. And if she had grown as attached as Jackie had indicated, he could crush her with his own selfish desire to be loved. He looked down at her, mentally tracing the line below her lips. Destroying her incredible spirit would be an act he could never forgive himself for.

* * *

Rose opened her eyes groggily. Her first sight was the Doctor, leaning over her and watching her with slight amusement.

"Good morning," he said.

She smiled sleepily. "How long have you been watching me?"

"One hour, forty-two minutes and eighteen seconds. But by all means, go ahead, keep sleeping." 

She yawned and forced herself to sit up. "I know you don't need as much sleep as I do. But I don't think I would have slept without you here. Means a lot to me."

He half-smiled at her and nodded. "You'll need a big breakfast. Part of the recovery process. Doctor's orders."

She grinned at him. "Since when do you get to order me around? All righ', hang on, I've got to get changed. So do you, unless we're going to a very formal breakfast." She took a moment to marvel that his suit did not look the slightest bit rumpled, despite spending the night in it.

He picked up his jacket, tie, and shoes and returned to the TARDIS. The assault from last night had faded in her mind. She remembered it, but it no longer felt like an immediate threat, much like a nightmare seems less real the next day. The fatigue was still there though, and she was anxious to get her hands on a large mug of coffee. She wondered how much of this was the result of the attack, and how much was from her emotional whiplash with the Doctor. If anything, his mixed messages were worse this time around. One minute he slow dancing with her, the next, trying to run. And then after the attack, it seemed like he didn’t want to let go of her for a moment. Where before, she’d found their relationship intriguing, now it was just frustrating. She sighed, and decided not to push it. Maybe it would just be best to focus on their friendship for the moment. 

She showered and changed, the hot water making her feel significantly better. Walking out of the bedroom, she found the Doctor waiting, dressed in a holey jumper and hoodie. 

He smiled as she entered. "Your body needs a lot of calories. Believe it or not, the best thing for you right now is a proper fry up."

She laughed. "All right. There's a pub nearby with a great breakfast. I usually go there when I'm hung over." 

"It's not a bad comparison. Residue from mental attacks can feel similar to a hangover, minus the regrets about snogging your co-worker at the Christmas party."

"I guess there's no hair of the dog for telepathic attacks either." She picked up her jacket and keys.

He shifted uncomfortably. "Well, there is, but it wouldn't be advisable right now."

"Uh, yeah. Okay." _Odd answer._ "Let's go."

They made their way over to The Hound and the Hare, only a few blocks away. Rose ordered a full breakfast, while the Doctor contented himself with toast and tea. She surprised herself with her hunger. It seemed only a couple minutes had passed before she had polished off the breakfast, extra bacon, an additional order of toast and marmalade, two cups of coffee and a cup of tea. (The Doctor had insisted on the latter, muttering something about tannins.) 

Just as she was debating ordering a plate of sausages, her phone vibrated in her pocket.

"Hello? Hey, Dad. Yeah. No, it didn't pan out. He what? You found what? No, he's the last person I expected. Yeah, he's still with me. 'Course, everything's fine. Yeah, we'll be in shortly." 

She stuffed the phone back in her pocket. "Torchwood picked up Morris Sedgwick. He was ravin' about creating a hole into the void if I didn't come an’ talk to him. They grabbed him, found the stolen items in his apartment, the hole punch, everything."

"Morris? Idiot bowtie boy? No. No, that can't be right." He shook his head.

"I wouldn't have thought it either, but it won't hurt to go in and get the details. He's in lock-up now, we can ask all the questions we want. Also, Pete said he wanted a word with you when we went by."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, they walked into Torchwood. Normally quiet on Sundays, it had turned into a bustling beehive of agents. Some rushed about filing analyses on the various objects recovered. Others stood and gossiped about Morris’s capture. As soon as Rose entered with the Doctor on her heels, they fell silent.

“All right, enough standing about and chatting!” she ordered. “Who’s going to give me a rundown of what happened this morning?”

A young woman with short red hair stepped forward. Rose nodded to her. “All right, Drummond’s with me. The rest of you get about with whatever you were doing.” With a few curious glances at the Doctor, the rest of the agents left the common area near the elevator, likely to find quieter places to gossip away from their boss.

Rose and the Doctor followed Drummond into a small meeting room nearby, and Rose closed the door.

“Okay, I got the short version on the phone, but let’s hear the full report.” Rose sat down in one of the chairs, indicating that Drummond should do the same. The red haired woman sat, glancing at the Doctor as she did so.

“He’s all right. Anything you can say to me can be said in front of him.”

Drummond nodded, cleared her throat, and began. “Early this morning, before the night clerk had finished his shift, Morris Sedgwick showed up at the office carrying a stolen device from the archives and raving. He looked frazzled. Not like his usual self. Disheveled, the night clerk said, and his words were slurred as though he were drunk. He said that he’d heard you were seeing someone.” She paused for a moment and glanced at the Doctor curiously, then resumed before Rose could reply. “Talk around the office, I guess. He was complaining that you’d never paid attention to him, and he needed to resort to something drastic to get you to talk to him. At that point, he held up the device and threatened to create a hole to the void unless you were summoned right away. Fortunately, Agent Evans had been working late. She managed to tackle him before he could take action. Sedgwick is now in a holding cell pending your interview.”

“The device,” the Doctor interrupted. “Where is it now?”

Drummond looked at Rose. Rose nodded, indicating she should answer the question. “It was placed in the secure storage facility for examination. We also sent teams to investigate his apartment and found quite a few stolen items from the archives. They’re also in the facility.”

“Why wasn’t I called last night?” Rose demanded.

Drummond shrugged. “Director Tyler indicated you were not to be disturbed until the morning.” Rose frowned.

The Doctor coughed slightly. “I may have been the one who gave him that idea.” 

Rose was irritated that he had cut her off from an important report, but she hadn’t been in the best shape last night either. She sighed and decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, as he’d clearly had good intentions. “Well, we should interview Sedgwick now. Thank you, Agent.”

Drummond started to get up, then paused. “Would you mind if I added something more subjective, ma’am?”

Rose nodded. “I appreciate your thoughts on the matter.”

“Well… it was well known around the office that Sedgwick had a fixation on you. And we all… many agents thought he was a bit odd. He tended to go it alone, didn’t spend much time with anyone outside work. It always seemed like he didn’t have much of a life. This event wasn’t really much of a surprise to anyone here.”

Rose raised an eyebrow at the admission. “Right. Well, thank you again,” she said a bit coldly.

Drummond got up and left the room. 

“Gossips, the lot of them, like a bunch of old hens,” Rose complained after the agent had left. “Well, I suppose we should go find Sedgwick. Maybe he came here after he left us. Frustrated he failed, and his device wouldn’t work… well, maybe he was just desperate.”

“You think you drove bowtie boy crazy with mad jealousy?” he asked skeptically.

“Well, yeah, could happen I s’pose… Like Drummond said, he was a bit odd.” Rose found herself reacting a little defensively.

“Having met Sedgwick, I don’t think he’s likely to have managed any of this. And I’m usually right about this sort of thing. About most things, really. The culprit wanted to pin the thefts and the anomalies on Sedgwick, but why?”

Rose rolled her eyes. “Ego, much? I thought you said he’d want to repair it. Why would someone plant a device they still want to use on someone who’s about to get captured by Torchwood?” 

“If they’re reasonably sure they can recover the device easily from Torchwood, it seems like a good way to throw us or others off their track. Rose, you got close enough for this man to unleash a powerful attack. It probably required a physical touch. But somehow you didn’t see or recognize Morris.”

She frowned and shook her head. “Everything’s hazy. I can’t quite remember. Every time I think about it, I just end up thinking about something else instead.”

“Mental block. Let’s go see Sedgwick. I think we can sort this out pretty quickly.”

“All right, fine, yeah.”

She led the Doctor down to the holding cells, a few floors below ground level. The holding cells were located in a long hall, with guards stationed just outside the solid steel door closing the hall off from the elevator and stairs. Each cell had a solid clear barrier built on the front of it, with ventilation for air and a microphone built into each side for conversations.

Not many of the holding cells were full at the moment. There were two weevils and a large, greyish alien with a clay-like face.

The Doctor glanced in curiously at the alien. Rose followed his gaze. “Came down to Earth for a laugh, party it up on a backwater planet. Unfortunately, he drank too much and scared half the people in a small village before we picked ‘im up. He’s sleeping it off, but I gather that will take about five months.” She smiled briefly and moved on to the end of the hall.

Sedgwick was located in the last cell on the right. He had been provided with a bench, small table, sink and toilet. Morris was sitting on the bench at the moment, his head in his hands. It was obvious he wasn’t in great shape. His clothes looked rumpled and his shirt torn. He was rocking back and forth on the bench. 

Rose walked up to the glass. She felt concerned, and slightly sad for the young archivist. Though she tapped on the glass gently, he didn’t look up.

She tried again. “Morris?”

He immediately stopped rocking and looked at her. “Rose!” he gasped, and walked over to touch the glass where she had knocked on it.

She tried smiling calmly, hoping to keep him talking to her. “Hello, Morris. I… I’m sorry to see you in here like this.”

“I’m sorry, Rose. I didn’t mean to do it. I just… I really wanted to talk to you, and I-“ He stopped as he noticed the Doctor standing a foot behind her. His face twisted with anger. 

Rose hurried to distract him. “What happened, Morris? You didn’t need to do this to talk to me. I’m always here. Why’ve you been taking all this stuff from Torchwood?”

Morris rubbed his forehead and moaned a little. “I don’t know… I remember… I was talking to friends at lunch, and they were bragging. Said something about using one of the devices at a club, to get someone to be attracted to them. And I went and took something, hoping it’d help me. I started looking through more things and…” He went red. “It sounds pretty crazy now.”

The Doctor interrupted. “It sounds crazy because it is crazy. Tell me, who were these friends at lunch?”

Morris glared at the Doctor. “I’m talking to Rose, Agent McCrimmon,” he said flatly.

Rose tried again. “So how’d you go from collecting items from the warehouses, to, uh, ‘help’ you, to threatening the night clerk?”

Morris’s expression turned quickly from anger to shame. He looked miserable. 

“Come on, it’s all right,” she urged gently. 

“You’re not going to want to talk to me,” he muttered.

“Morris… you’re already in a cell. I can’t imagine Director Tyler’s likely to keep you on. At this point, the only way you’re going to get to talk to me is just by telling the truth. All right?”

“Yeah, okay.” He took a deep breath. “Okay. I was out, drinking. Some of the other agents… well, they were talking about how you were probably seein’ Agent McCrimmon now.” He glanced nervously over at the Doctor. “There were a few, uh, off-color jokes.” His cheeks flushed red.

“It’s all right, you don’t need to tell me those. Just… how did you end up back at Torchwood?”

“Well, I guess I was feeling a bit… upset. And I drank more than I intended to. I decided to try to find some way to get you to talk to me. I wasn’t thinking clearly. And I had the device, and I just… went a little mad, I guess.”

Rose nodded sympathetically. “I’ve never avoided you, Morris. I never realized you felt so strongly. But, um, I’m guessing the Director’s going to want you to talk to someone, a professional, and-“

The Doctor interrupted. “How did you know what the device did? What its function was?”

“Eh, well, I dunno, I just did. Figured it out, I guess.”

“Oh, you just ‘figured it out’, did you? Like working out the remote on your television? Very clever of you.”

Sedgwick scowled at the Doctor’s needling. “I guess I must have been, because I knew what it did, McCrimmon.”

“Open the door, Rose. We need to discuss this without this absurd wall between us.” 

“What, are you mad? You’re both about to have a go at each other, and-“

“Open the door. We’re not going to hurt each other, right, Morris? Just chat.”

Sedgwick glared. “Yeah, guess so,” he replied sullenly.

Rose tapped in a code and the door opened. The Doctor stepped into the cell. Sedgwick stepped back a little.

“I think we got off on the wrong foot. While your methods are… unusual, your heart was clearly in the right place. Let’s agree on that?” The Doctor offered his hand.

Sedgwick glared at him suspiciously. “What, now you want to be mates?”

“Sure. Yes. That. The part with the warm fuzzy feelings.” The Doctor continued to hold out his hand.

Sedgwick looked confused, but finally reached out to shake the offered hand. The Doctor closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them. “Right. Well. Nice to see you again.” He turned to leave.

“Um, right.” Morris stared at him, baffled.

The Doctor walked out of the cell and Rose checked to make sure that the lock had engaged correctly.

“All righ’, Morris? I’ll have a cup of tea and some lunch sent down for you.”

Morris nodded, gave Rose another wistful look, then sat down on the bench again.

* * *

The Doctor had already left the secure area and was waiting just inside the entrance to the stairs when Rose caught up with him.

“What was that about?” she said.

“What was what about?” he replied.

“The weird going into the cell and shaking hands bit.”

“Creating certainty. There’s no way that pudding brain in there really did any of this of his own free will.”

“Why? He admitted to it.”

“Why? You’re asking why? You’re slipping, Rose. Point one, Drummond said he didn’t spend time with others outside of work. But somehow he got this idea to collect items from listening to other agents talking about a night out while he was at lunch with them.”

“I guess he could have overheard them in the cafeteria.”

“And when he was out drinking, and the agents discussed your love life?”

Rose flushed. “So he went out for a drink. I don’t usually go out either, but we went out the other night.”

The Doctor smiled at her slightly. “Yes, we did… but now we go on to point two. The items stolen were a random assortment. I believed, and still believe they were covering up what the thief actually intended to take. If Morris was trying to find a device that would change your mind about him, he scarcely would have been bothering with hymetusite crystals or any number of the other items on the list.”

“Experimenting?” Rose suggested, but he could tell she didn’t really believe it.

“Last, he clearly had no idea how he had learned what the dimensional hole punch’s function was. He ‘figured it out’? That’s the sort of answer a dim student gives a professor when he’s cheated on his last exam.”

“But he did know what it did, because he was threatening to use it to punch a hole to the void.”

“Right, excellent point. How does he even know about the void? Does he study dimensional theory in his spare time? He’s an archivist, a glorified librarian. He knows, the same way he knew what the dimensional hole punch is, because someone planted that information in his memories.” The Doctor looked at Rose intently.

She mulled it over. “Well, some agents know about the void. Especially the ones on the Dimension Cannon project. But Morris… I don’t know. You think he didn’t actually steal the items or make any of these decisions himself?”

“No. But he thinks he did. He remembers making these decisions, even though it really goes against his nature to do them. That’s why he’s so confused. He thinks he’s going mad.”

“Okay, right. So even if I agree, and I’m not sure I do yet, what’s the point of all this? Why mess with Morris?”

“I don’t think it’s personal. Having Morris in custody gives Torchwood an explanation for the thefts, and stops them looking for the real culprit. Maybe it slows us down too. Look at the time we’ve already wasted talking to pudding brain.”

“You didn’t explain why you went in his cell,” she said.

“I needed contact for telepathy.”

“You were lookin’ in his mind?”

“I don’t like to do that, but yes. Lightly.”

“And?”

“Someone has been messing about in there. Memories all jumbled up. But there was a face, clear as crystal, if you know where to look.”

“Who?”

“Brian Parker, of course.”

Rose looked exasperated. “Doctor, it’s not Brian. I would have known if the man at the generating station was Brian. He’s shown himself to be a friend to my family many times. Can we focus on the real culprit?”

The Doctor cocked his head and peered at Rose. “You’re very resistant to this idea, Rose.”

“Well, that’s ‘cos it’s ridiculous!” She was indignant.

“Possibly. Maybe it’s something more. We should collect the hole punch, assuming it's still there.”

“’Course it’s there, it’s secure. And I’ll need to check it out, if we don’t want to cause a stir.”

“Remind me again why we wouldn’t want to cause a stir?” He smiled.

She grinned. “You never do anything the easy way. I’ll go pick it up. Why don’t you go see what Pete wants, and we’ll meet at my office?”

He nodded, and they headed up the stairs. She split off from him when she reached the level for secure storage, and he continued upwards, lost in thought. Brian’s tampering with her mental state must have gone beyond obscuring his face at the generator. It was the only explanation for her complete refusal to believe he had done anything wrong. Had he altered her thoughts on other occasions? His mind turned over the possibility.

At the top of the stairwell was the door to the floor Pete’s office was located on. He exited the stairwell and walked down to the Director’s office. As he entered the reception area, Blake nodded to him.

“Director Tyler is expecting you.” He pressed a button and the door opened. The Doctor strode into the office, where Pete sat at his desk.

Pete stood as the Doctor entered. 

“You rang?” The Doctor asked, curious about Pete’s take on all of this. Did he really believe that Morris was the culprit? He wondered if the Director would prove as difficult to convince as Rose had been.

“Doctor, thanks for coming. Have you had a chance to talk to Morris?”

“I have.”

“I think it’s just as well we caught him before he did any lasting harm.”

“I sincerely doubt he’s done any harm at all.”

Pete blinked. “You’re having me on. How can you say arriving at Torchwood drunk, waving around a machine capable of tearing a hole in the universe isn’t ‘harm’?”

“The device is broken at the moment. And I don’t think he possessed it until shortly before he arrived at Torchwood.”

“Right.” Pete looked at him skeptically. “And who do you think had it before that?”

“Brian Parker.”

Pete’s immediate reaction was disbelief, bordering on open scorn. _Parker must have reached him too._ He forced himself to pay attention again to Pete, who was still talking.

“…and we’re lucky Rose is still here at all, thanks to Parker.”

“I know it seems difficult to believe-“ the Doctor began.

Pete cut him off. “It doesn’t really surprise me, Doctor, you putting forward a suggestion like that. Every time I’ve run into you, you’re spouting mad ideas. Ideas that hurt others.” His face darkened. “It was your plans that got my first wife killed. Rickey. Mrs. Moore. The others too, all those poor victims of your buggered plans. You leave a trail of blood behind you. I’ve put up with you for my daughter’s sake, but now you’re likely to drag her into your madness too. Well, I won’t have it… not this time, Doctor.”

The Doctor saw movement out of the corner of his eye. Several armed agents had entered the office and were moving to surround him. Two of them stepped forward and grabbed his arms. 

Ignoring the agents for the moment, the Doctor desperately reasoned with the Director. “Pete, think about this! Think about every time we’ve met in the past! Do you remember every detail? Who are those ‘others’ I got killed? How did I cause Jackie’s death? Does it get hazy when you think too hard? Those aren’t your memories!”

“Get ‘im out of here,” growled Pete.


	16. Chapter 16

The Torchwood agents escorted the Doctor out of Pete's office and down the hall. Once in the elevator lobby, they patted him down, asking him to hand over the contents of his pockets. After he handed them a yoyo, a bag of jelly babies, a bottle of anti-oil, a recorder, and a couple of devices of unknown origin, then showed no signs of stopping, they had him replace the items in his pockets and took the hoodie itself. 

Flanking him on all sides, they escorted the Doctor into an open elevator and down to the basement level he had so recently left with Rose. Signaling to the guards outside the large steel door, they continued marching him forward until he found himself in front of the cell holding Morris. The former archivist looked up curiously as the ranking agent tapped a complex code sequence into the panel outside of the cell opposite Sedgwick, placed a hand on the fingerprint scanner, and partially slid open the thick, glass-like barrier. With a firm hand, the Doctor was pushed into the cell and the barrier closed again. The agents left without a word, taking the Doctor's hoodie with them. Morris smirked at him from across the hall. The Doctor glared and sat down to consider the situation.

Pete Tyler had obviously had his memories adjusted, and quite recently too. He certainly hadn't been hostile at their last meeting. That suggested that Brian had approached Pete soon after he had attacked Sedgwick, probably as insurance in case the Doctor ignored the distraction the archivist was providing for the Torchwood agents. What was curious was that it had targeted the Doctor specifically, and not Rose. He did not yet understand Parker's motives, and that deeply bothered him.

Glanced around the cell, he started looking for a means of escape. Torchwood had done a thorough job, and nothing immediately presented itself, but in the Doctor's experience, something always turned up eventually. Rose was still out there, and she always came through for him. Always. He marveled for the moment at the confidence he had in a woman he had been apart from for so long.

In the meantime, he just had to wait. Easy.

“Oh yeah,” commented the brunette, leaning against the wall with her arms folded and a smirk on her face. “That’s what you’re known for. Patience.”

_I can be patient._ He lowered his eyebrows indignantly.

The brunette rolled her eyes and grinned at him. “All right, have at it, then.”

_Waiting. Yes. Time will fly by. Hm. I’ll just calculate Pi out to a few thousand numbers or so._

He paused for a moment.

_All right, done. How long’s it been?_

“Thirty seconds.”

He groaned and stood, pacing the cell. _This is incredibly dull. I’m going to complain to the management._

She grinned. “Well, you could start up a conversation.”

_You’re already talking to me._

“No, with him.” She nodded at Morris. “Nice bow tie. He’s sort of cute.”

_He would be your type. No, I don’t think I need another talk with Pudding Brain._

“It’s not his fault that he likes Rose. Maybe after you leave, and he gets back his memories, they could have a drink. He seems like a nice enough guy.”

_No._

“What, she’s supposed to live alone, growing old and pining for you after you’ve left?”

_Well, no. She just- Were you this irritating when you were travelling with me?_

“Figured out we spent time together, did you?”

The Doctor reeled with a sudden wave of dizziness. The brunette blurred in his vision and disappeared. He glanced over at Sedgwick, who was looking at him curiously. 

“So, what do you do to pass the time around here?” he asked the archivist.

* * *

Three hours later, the steel door at the end of the hall suddenly opened with a metallic whine and an alarm went off. There was a sound of feet running away from the entrance, then nothing but the blaring of the alarm. The Doctor thought he heard the sound of a scuffle echoing along the hall and a body falling to the floor. More running feet, and then moments later, Rose Tyler ran down the hall to the Doctor’s cell, his hoodie tied around her waist.

The Doctor was standing at the glass, facing Sedgwick across the hall. They were waving their hands at each other with odd gestures, and Rose slowed to a walk as she approached their cells.

“Paper! What, scissors again? Cheat…” The Doctor muttered the last word quietly.

Rose looked from cell to cell. “I’ve been going mad with worry about medical tests and what they’ve been doing to you, and you’re just down here playin’ ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’?”

Sedgwick nodded sheepishly. 

“It hasn’t been easy!” the Doctor exclaimed. “We’ve added at least ten new symbols to the game!”

She rolled her eyes. “All righ’, let’s get you out of here, Doctor. Sorry, Morris, I’m going to have to leave you there for now. But we’ll have you out soon, promise.” Sedgwick looked confused, but resigned.

Rose pulled the Doctor’s sonic screwdriver out of her pocket and looked at it. “Setting 85,” he said. 

Tweaking the screwdriver, she aimed it at the panel and activated it. The panel beeped, and the glass slid open. The Doctor stepped out, and she handed his hoodie to him. He shrugged it on quickly and took the screwdriver when she offered it. 

“Overall, decent accommodations for a prison. I’d give it three stars, but there was no mint on my pillow,” he commented.

“We haven’t much time. I triggered the fire alarm, and it distracted them enough that one of the guards left. I… took care of the other one.” They walked down the hall and stepped over the unconscious guard’s body. “But we have only a few minutes before they’ve realized what happened.”

As they approached the stairwell, he slipped his hand into Rose’s without thinking. Rose indicated the stairwell downwards. “There’s actually a route out this way. I was in charge of getting this facility ready when we moved here. I made sure an extra escape route was built down here, an’ I didn’t exactly advertise it to anyone, even Dad.” She shrugged. “I guess I always figured I’d end up running from something eventually.”

Leading the Doctor after her, they exited the stairwell two floors down. The door led out to an ordinary looking corridor. They walked down it for several feet, and Rose opened a broom closet and dragged the Doctor inside after her. It was a cramped space between two shelves of custodial supplies, and they faced each other, pressed close together.

He looked down at her. “Rose, I hate to tell you this, but I think you need to work on your escape plans.”

She smiled with her tongue between her teeth, her face precariously close to his. His breath caught, and for a moment, there was no place he’d rather be than pressed up against Rose in a janitorial closet. Before he could pursue that thought further, she reached to one side and pushed on a lower brick in the rear wall. The wall swung open smoothly, and the bricks could now be seen as only a thin façade over the back of the closet. Beyond the hidden doorway, a tunnel with dim lighting extended into the distance. The Doctor peered down the tunnel.

He stepped inside the passage, and Rose keyed the door closed behind her. 

“Where does it go?” he asked. “Narnia?”

“Nah, just to an alley behind the building.”

They hurried down the corridor, rounded a few corners and ended up at a spiral stairwell. At the top of the stairwell were steel security doors with a maintenance hatch. They climbed through and Rose locked it behind them. No one was in the alley, but they moved away as quickly as possible before they were spotted. 

Half an hour later, they sat in the back of a small chip shop picked at random, well away from Torchwood. 

“So, you didn’t manage to get the hole punch.”

Rose chewed on a chip. “No, I went upstairs for it. They couldn’t find it, but it hadn’t been checked out. I pulled rank to go look in the back myself. Nothing. I was still back there when I heard some agents round the corner at the front desk brought in your hoodie. That’s when I knew something was up. I made out like I was still looking for the hole punch, and once the hoodie got registered and filed, I nabbed it and snuck out while the clerk wasn’t lookin’. I figured you’d be down in the holding cells. Nowhere else to put you, really. I guess you were right about the culprit coming back to take it.”

He smiled and raised an eyebrow. “And now, you’re smug,” she added.

“Me? Smug? No… when have you ever known me to be smug?”

She grinned and shook her head.

He looked at her, considering. “So, about Parker?”

“I… yeah… okay. I’ll consider it. It’s just so hard. It doesn’t seem believable at all.”

“I know,” he added gently. “When we have some time, I can… well, I can take a look and see if he’s left any false memories in your mind.”

She chewed her lip. “How will you know which ones are false?”

“I’ll be able to tell what’s been implanted… there’s sort of a signature on them. I’m not going to look at any other memories unless I have to. But you’ll need to trust me, and let me in to do it.”

She frowned and thought for a moment. “All right, yeah. I don’t want to feel like there might be thoughts that aren’t really mine. Always second guessing myself.”

He nodded. “But first we need to figure out what his next step is.”

“Well, he’s got the punch, probably. But it’s broken.” Rose ate a chip thoughtfully.

“And he would know by now that we’ve escaped. He’s likely been notified, just as any agent would be, to look for us. So it’s clear his attempts to slow us down, through Sedgwick and through Pete, didn’t work… that’s how I ended up in that cell, by the way. He’s altered Pete’s memories.”

Rose bit her lip with concern as he mentioned her father. “Can we sort him out later?”

The Doctor nodded. “We’ll have to. I imagine he has altered many minds inside Torchwood.” 

“So he knows you're free… what does that change?”

“It’s hard to say. We still don’t know his motives. Let’s consider what we do know about him.” He looked at Rose expectantly.

“Well, he can… attack minds. And alter memories?”

“Okay. He’s either an alien or a powerful human telepath. What else?”

Rose thought. “He wants to open anomalies?”

“Yes. And he knows he’s endangering worlds. That was obvious in his reaction when I confronted him last night.”

“So he wants to destroy this world?”

“No. He closed the portals on this side. He wants to destroy another world. The world we originally came from.”

“Which means he’s been there before?”

The Doctor nodded. “Probably, yes. And one last point – he has a curious interest in you.”

“In me?”

“Yes. Instead of avoiding you, which would make much more sense if he were trying to go undetected, he went out of his way to show interest in you. He also didn’t alter Pete’s memories of you, which he easily could have.”

“Okay. So what does all this mean?”

“No clue.” The Doctor frowned. “I suppose we’ll have to ask Mr. Parker.”

“But we don’t know where he might be now.”

“Oh, I have a good idea… if not where he is now, then at least where he’ll be tonight.”

“Care to share with the rest of the class?”

“He is very focused on destroying the other universe. And he knows I intend to stop him from doing that. If he knows I’m free, he’ll want to fix the dimensional hole punch quickly and make his move before I track him down.”

“I thought you said that would take time, though.”

“Yes, under most circumstances. But there are always ways to jury rig anything to work, at least for a little while. If I were under pressure to replace a tri-conic relay connector and had very little time, I would probably do a number of things, most of which involve a shard of painite crystal.”

“Painite?”

“Yes. Common enough in many places around the galaxy. But not as common here on Earth. Or at least in our regular world it isn’t. We’ll just have to hope this place is the same in that respect.”

“So where would he find a shard of painite?”

“Oh, easy. Only one place nearby with that sort of thing. The Natural History Museum in London.”

“Oh, right. So we just need to stroll into the Natural History Museum, and then jump him once he shows up for the painite? That sounds easy enough,” she said dryly.

“Well, he’s unlikely to make a move before dark. So we’ve got a few hours. In the meantime, it might be best to work on removing those false memories and building up your defenses a little. Just in case.”

She shivered slightly at the memory of her attack. Had it only been last night? “I know where we can go.”

* * *

The Doctor felt a trace of déjà vu as he followed Rose into the small apartment. 

She gestured to the couch. “There’s not much here, but I’ve got enough to make a cuppa. Want one?”

He nodded and stared around at the tiny flat on the Powell Estate. It was a near mirror of Rose’s old apartment she had once shared with Jackie. The furniture was a little different, but everything was painted and laid out the same. It made him feel for a moment as though he were two lives younger. “Ah, Rose…”

“Yeah?”

“Why? Why all this?”

She busied herself with the kettle, then came out of the kitchen. “After I got here the first time, after Canary Wharf, I had a lot of trouble… adjusting. Couldn’t sleep at night. Living at the mansion just reminded me of everything that had happened. And then Dad got me that big place, the one I’m still in. It didn’t feel like home. I was desperate – just wanted to pretend, like. That nothing had changed. I paid off the blokes who lived here, then kind of fixed everything up. It wasn’t exactly the same, of course. But it was close enough. I came here whenever I felt like I was too far from home. Dad never knew I was renting it. And Mum never came here, said she was just as happy to never have to set foot back here again. He… My Doctor was the only one who ever knew about it. Even after we got married, I’d still come by here once in a while if I was feelin’ homesick.”

He nodded, allowing himself to remember a trickle of the pain he had felt during those long months after she had vanished. Every day spent in countless hours of futile searching, until at last he was only able to find a gap barely large enough to send her a message. It felt distant to him now, but he could clearly recall every day of his increasingly desperate actions. He had burned up a sun for her. There was a mirror of that anguish and futility on Rose’s face as she explained the flat. 

The kettle’s whistle broke the silent moment, and he felt relieved. Rose walked back into the kitchen and came out with two mugs. They sat down on the couch and sipped at their tea. The silence had changed from weighty to comfortable, and the Doctor was pleased to see Rose relaxing. He would need her full cooperation to accomplish the task ahead.

At last, he set down his empty mug. “We’d better get started.”

She finished her own drink and nodded. He could tell she was nervous, and even slightly suspicious. That hurt a little, but he supposed he deserved it. 

He reached over and held her hand, turning to face her fully. “If there is anything you don’t want me to see, imagine a door and close it. I may crack some of the doors, if I think it may be a false memory, but I will try not to look.”

Checking to make sure his own mental defenses were fully intact, he lifted his hands to her temples. “Ready?” he looked into her eyes.

She nodded, and bit her lower lip. He closed his eyes, and drifted gently into her mind.

It was much quieter in there this time, now that the storm from the previous night had abated. The Doctor created a mental image of a building representing her memories. He walked in on the ground floor, and found himself in a large room surrounded by Rose’s childhood memories. Most of her memories had been left out in plain sight. A red bicycle leaned prominently in one corner, and he grinned at it. All around him were artifacts of Rose’s early life, pictures, objects, scents and sounds that were connected to her childhood memories. None of the memories had any of the telltale signs of having been altered by Parker. As he looked around him, he could see the moments that had transformed Rose into the woman she was today. He felt proud and protective. It was easy to see that she had never been satisfied with a life of beans on toast, watching television and sleepwalking through her days. Even as a child, she had always dreamed of more.

_We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars._

_What?_ Rose’s voice echoed in his mind.

_Nothing. So far, so good._

He jogged up the stairs to the next floor. Teenage days. The hall here looked like an oversized version of Rose’s room, with pink everywhere, posters and pictures covering the walls. Several doors closed off memories she had decided not to share, but none of the doors looked like they had been altered. There were many pictures across the walls of a scruffy looking musician. He touched one. Jimmy Stone. He felt scorn and disgust as he skimmed some of Rose’s memories of Jimmy. A lousy musician she had thought far too much of, who had left her for another girl, but not before he had sunk Rose into debt. 

The Doctor snorted and glared at the pictures, imagining several creative places he could leave Jimmy Stone, such as the middle of a sun.

_Doctor, what are you getting’ into in there?_ Rose’s voice was tinged with concern.

_The pink in all your adolescent years is giving me permanent retinal damage._

She must be able to sense his emotions more clearly right now. He made a greater effort to keep his feelings in check. He saw quite a few pictures of Mickey, too. Seeing the young man brought a smile to his face. He hadn’t gone to visit Mickey since his tenth incarnation had died. Nothing more to see here. He headed upstairs again.

This hall looked like the interior of the TARDIS, but decorated with mementoes of their adventures. A plastic arm lounged on the jump seat. His leather jacket was draped over one of the railings. The TARDIS’s screens had pictures of him when he had met Rose. Some were him alone, some were of them together. He was amused to see how Rose saw him in her memories. Somehow, she remembered him as slightly taller, in better shape and more handsome than he suspected was true. 

_I didn’t let you into my mind just so you could get an ego boost._ She sounded amused.

He smiled to himself, but obligingly raised his shields again. He paused for a moment to stare at a screen showing him with Rose. In the picture, Rose was laughing, and he was doing his best to look serious. He didn’t need to examine the memory, he remembered that night. They had visited a bazaar on Indatine, and had stopped to see several street entertainers. Rose had been watching the entertainers with glee, and he… he had been watching Rose. He touched the screen, and Rose’s memories of the event merged with his own. He realized that she had been aware of his eyes on her, and had been hoping he was interested in her. Back then, he had never liked to admit to his feelings, but he had cared for nothing in his life as much as he had cared for Rose. _That version of me would never have been willing to let her go. But would that have been the right thing to do?_

There was no interference from Parker in this room, and that relieved him. These memories were precious to them both.

The next floor looked dark like a cold and empty version of her Powell Estate flat. These were her memories after Canary Wharf. The room was surrounded with closed doors and locked memories, and he felt mildly disappointed. He knew it had been a dark time for them both, but he remembered Jackie’s words from yesterday and had been hoping to determine for himself whether Rose had become as fragile as Jackie had indicated. From the memories he could see, Rose had struggled with alternating determination and resignation. There were many pictures of him in his tenth incarnation, dark and moody looking. The floor was covered with the scattered pieces of the dimension cannon. He touched these memories lightly. Many nights had been spent in the Powell Estate flat, and her fervent work during the day to help create the new dimension cannon echoed his own frenzied efforts to find a way to reach her. It was unclear whether she had ever given in to despair, but he knew it was possible in his own experience. He remembered himself standing, staring at the anguished Racnoss with flames behind him and the Thames flooding all around him. Soaked to the skin and feeling only fury and grief. Would he have given in, if Donna hadn’t been there? He had no answer.

_Doctor? Is everything all right? I thought I saw something… water… what was that?_

He jerked away from his own memories. Rose didn’t need the weight of them in her mind. And they were a truly crushing burden at times. He struggled to motivate himself to move to the stairs. Just before he left, he found one memory gleaming brightly near the exit of the cold room. Touching it, he saw from Rose’s point of view the moment she had found him again after leaping across dimensions. He stopped the memory short before the Dalek fired and allowed himself to feel the simple joy of the moment. 

Better move on, their time was short. Nothing, so far, had been tampered with. _Good. Then my duplicate managed at least to help her get basic defenses in place._

Upstairs, the room looked like her large flat that she had lived in with her husband. The memories looked a little battered, thanks to yesterday’s mental storm. He saw no other signs of intervention, though. Even though the room felt comfortable and bright, nearly all the memories were locked behind doors. He paced the edge of the room, touching each door to look for signs of intrusion, but there were none. He left them alone after that. These were not memories he shared, and he understood why she would want to keep them to herself.

As he began to look for the exit, he noticed a large painting on the wall. It was lit by several lights, as though Rose meant for him to see it. He paused hesitantly as he recognized the painting’s setting; it was a picture of Darlig Ulv Stranden. He guessed which moment this was, and he had no desire to look at it further, but he was having difficulty ignoring its prominence. With significant misgiving, he touched the painting. From Rose’s point of view, he saw himself and Donna looking at her and his duplicate. He had walked into the TARDIS and closed the doors. That was where his own memories ended. Now, looking through her eyes, he saw that Rose had run toward the TARDIS as it dematerialized, anguish written on her face. His duplicate moved forward, held her hand, and looked at her solemnly while she had tried to grasp what had just happened. The devastated feelings flooding through Rose at that moment left him struggling to breathe, and he hurriedly backed out of the memory before he could witness any more.

_Coward_ , he whispered, unsure whether he was addressing his past or present self. He wondered why she had wanted him to see it. If that had been intended to punish him, he probably deserved it. But that wasn’t Rose’s style. He had seen her angry, hurt, and on this latest trip, bitter, but he had never once seen her act truly vindictively. She probably had her reasons for this, and they could work that out later. _If we have a later._

As he reached the topmost room, where all of her memories after her husband’s death resided, he began to see signs of a foreign presence. Like mental footprints, they had moved through Rose’s mind, and there were new memories placed alongside her old ones. He could tell they didn’t belong. There was a slight shine to them that her ordinary memories lacked. In some places, ordinary memories had simply been altered to include new information, while elsewhere, completely new memories had been added wholesale. All of the memories had a connection to Brian Parker. 

He could see why she had been so resistant to the idea that Brian Parker could have any harmful intentions. The intruder had artfully woven his way into Rose’s memories of the last few years. If the memories were to be believed, Parker had quickly proven himself a qualified agent and a loyal friend. The Doctor could see that Parker had tried to insinuate even further, but failed. He had no doubt that if Rose had not had defenses, she probably would have believed herself completely in love with Parker. It seemed that the fake agent had only been able to alter memories that did not fundamentally change how Rose already felt. If she liked Brian a little, it was easy for her to remember liking Brian as a good friend. It had been impossible to make her feel murderous, hateful toward anyone she cared about, or suicidal. The last thought was interesting. At least he knew she hadn’t been nudged toward it.

_I’ve found them, Rose. Are you ready? I’m about to remove them._

_Yeah. Be careful, all right? I don’t want to wake up not knowing how to use a microwave or the name of my favorite song when I was twelve._

_I think it would only be an improvement if I removed a few of these Spice Girls songs._

_Doctor…_

_All right, if you insist, nothing gets cut except the stuff Parker left. Here we go!_

The Doctor carefully moved through the implanted memories, excising them at the exact point where they met legitimate memories. His movements were swift and targeted. The mental tampering disgusted him, and he was eager to remove the detritus from Rose’s brain as soon as possible. Before long, he had restored the last of the damaged memories. Then he glanced around until he found the mental defenses that Rose had previously built with his other self. They reminded him of a damaged wall, intact in some places and crumbling in others.

_Help me shore this up._ He focused on rebuilding the wall, and he felt Rose’s presence next to him, helping him reinforce it. Mentally, he grasped the hand of her projection and gently showed her how to channel more energy toward the barrier. Soon, the wall had not only been repaired, but sported a shining steel-like outer layer that practically glowed.

_That should work for now._

He felt exhausted from the mental exertion. Slowly, he backed away, and with mild regret, broke contact.

Rose’s eyes popped open. “Something wrong? Are you going to remove anything?”

The Doctor smiled tiredly. “It’s over. You won’t notice the change because you can’t remember what has been removed.”

Rose paused and frowned, thinking. “I remember you were going to extract my memories of Brian Parker. But I still remember him around Torchwood. And when we caught the vortisaur.”

“Yes. I didn’t remove any real memories created when he was around you. But I removed anything he implanted. And he may have removed some actual memories to replace with the implanted ones. I can’t bring those back though. For example, tell me how you met Brian.”

Rose stared into space for nearly a full minute before shaking her head. “That’s mental… I don’t remember meeting him. I can’t think of how I met him at all. I just remember a few times when I saw him around the office.”

“Anything before a couple of weeks ago?”

Rose shook her head. 

“Good, then he hasn’t been here long, and hopefully the damage is controllable. You only thought he’d been here for years, but it’s likely he only showed up several days before I did. He didn’t alter your memory as much as he might have altered others who didn’t have mental defenses.”

“Like Dad.”

The Doctor nodded.

Rose suddenly felt surprisingly angry. “I want to catch him, Doctor. Tonight. I’m done with him mucking about, getting into my head an’ the heads of my friends and family.” 

He felt his own anger simmering under the surface, a mirror of her own. 

“This stops now.”


	17. Chapter 17

Rose swallowed the last bite of her sandwich and looked around the Natural History Museum. They had arrived there an hour before closing, parked themselves in the Central Café and grabbed sandwiches. Neither had eaten since that morning, and Rose was starved. The Doctor was exhausted after repairing her memories, and the rapidly disappearing stack of sandwiches in front of him also seemed to perk him up.

The calm voice of an announcer echoed through the museum. “The museum will be closing in twenty minutes. Visitors, please proceed to the exit. Thank you.”

Rose swigged the last of her coffee, and looked down to find all of the Doctor’s sandwiches gone. He got up from the table and brushed the crumbs from his shirt. She noticed that the darkness under his eyes had receded, and the gleam in them had returned, a sign of anticipation of the adventure ahead.

The Doctor gestured to Rose and they walked back to the central hall. Rose wandered over to the large diplodocus skeleton dominating the capacious room and stared up at it. 

“When I was growing up, my school used to take us here on field trips. An’ at first, the dinosaurs were my favorite part. I’d walk into the museum, look right up at Dippy, and think I couldn’t imagine anything larger or more amazin’ than that.” She smiled fondly and placed her hand against the glass. “Now, traveling with you, I’ve seen things bigger, and I’ve seen things older. But, despite all that, it still seems as amazin’ as when I was a little girl.” 

The Doctor watched her, and it occurred to him that of all the many expressions he had seen on Rose’s face, it was her natural sense of the wonder of the world that touched him the most. She never seemed to grow jaded or tired, and seeing things through her eyes kept his own sense of curiosity alive. He slipped his hand into hers, letting her stand for a minute in silence, just watching. Finally, she turned to him and smiled, finished with her quiet contemplation.

“All right, where to?” she asked.

He jerked his head to the side of the hall where an elevator was bringing down a car full of visitors leaving the museum. They walked over and slipped into the waiting car. The Doctor pressed the button for the next floor.

“The painite is located in the Minerals gallery. I’m sure he’ll show up within a couple of hours of closing,” he said.

“And if he doesn’t?”

“Well, it will help pass the time if you really, really like looking at rocks.”

The elevator doors opened as they arrived at the upper floor. They exited the car, walking past several visitors waiting for their turn to head downstairs. Turning to one side, they strolled casually into the nearly empty Minerals gallery. The room had solid stone walls and arched windows, now dark with the twilight outside rapidly fading to night. Two long rows of glass and wood paneled cases held a treasury of rare and interesting minerals on display. Rose looked around quickly, and saw that none of the remaining patrons were Brian Parker.

“Where'ps the painite, then?” she asked.

The Doctor led her down the hall between the cases to the far wall. Here, the stone abruptly gave way to a slick, futuristic looking room with a large sign over it labeled ‘The Vault’. 

Rose stared at the metal doorway that sealed off the Vault at night. “Seriously, it’s in there? Why?”

“Ah. Well, remember how I said it wasn’t as common here?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, it used to be considered the rarest mineral on Earth. Not so much now, but it’s still hard enough to come by.”

“So he’s going to have to not only break into the museum, but through all of this?” She gestured at the metal doors ready to slide down and lock into place at closing time.

“Yes. And when he does, we’ll be waiting.”

“What, in here?” Rose asked as they entered the Vault. The room was small, spartan, and painted in bright white. Two rows of glass cases sat in the front of the room, with smaller displays to the sides.

“Yes.”

“Well, there’s not exactly a place to hide, is there?”

“I don’t need to hide from him. He needs to hide from me.” The Doctor had a cold look in his eyes, and Rose felt a slight shiver. 

“So, um, where _is_ the painite?”

“There,” he said softly. Rose looked in one of the glass cases set in the wall and saw a dark brown mineral labeled with a neatly typed white card underneath. “Calcium, zirconium, boron, aluminum and oxygen,” the Doctor added.

“Not much to look at, is it?” she commented. 

“Appearances can be deceptive.” The Doctor gave her a smile and his eyes twinkled under his shaggy eyebrows. She felt herself flush slightly, and turned quickly back to the case to look at the unremarkable brown crystal again. 

By now, the Vault and the minerals room adjacent were completely empty of visitors. The silence was eerie. Rose felt grateful that they hadn’t had to wait in the dinosaur hall. It was spooky enough in here.

They walked around the room for several minutes, glancing casually at the displays. As the museum intercom announced the museum’s closure, a guard walked in. He seemed startled to see that anyone was left.

“Pardon me, but the museum’s closed now. You’ll have to leave,” he said cautiously.

“It’s all right. We’ve been invited to study some of the minerals.” The Doctor smiled at him pacifyingly. “Here, look, my credentials.” He pulled out his psychic paper and waved it at the guard.

“Oh… Minister, I beg your pardon. I wasn’t told you were going to be here.”

“I rescheduled my visit at the last minute, I’m afraid.” The Doctor smiled blandly. 

“Aha, well, the problem is… I need to lock up.” The guard shifted uneasily. 

“Oh go ahead, lock up.”

“What, with you inside?” 

“Yes. It’s all right, I can just call someone when we want to leave.”

“Are you sure there’s reception?” The guard looked dubiously at the Vault’s thick metal door that he had been about to seal.

“Oh, yes.” The Doctor leaned in conspiratorially. “Ministers are given _special_ phones. For emergencies, you know.” He raised his eyebrows.

“Oh!” The guard nodded eagerly. “Right, of course. Well, I’ll come by in a couple of hours to check on you, shall I?”

The Doctor smiled. “Please do.”

The guard nodded, and stepped back through the doorway. Moments later, the steel door swung shut with a heavy thud, locking them both in.

Rose shook her head. “I can’t believe he bought that.”

The Doctor looked innocently at her. “I’m obviously a very trustworthy person.”

She stifled a snort. “Right, now, what’re we going to do while we’re waiting for Parker to show up?”

The Doctor smiled. He leaned in and whispered softly in her ear, “Three words, Rose… Rock, Paper, Scissors!”

* * *

Rose couldn’t count how many rounds of ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ she had played. The game had gotten insanely complicated, with additional symbols, rules for hand positions, and occasional time distortion challenges that allowed you to change a previous hand. She was currently trying out the tactic of just repeating Rock for as long as she possibly could before the Doctor noticed. It seemed appropriate to their setting, surrounded by minerals.

“Rock again?” The Doctor eyed her suspiciously. She suspected he had guessed her plan, but if he did, he wasn’t letting on.

“What? I-“ 

Before Rose could answer, the Doctor held up a hand for silence. They heard the beginnings of the large steel door sliding open, and crouched down behind the lower opaque half of a display, one of the only available hiding places in the room. 

Quiet footsteps walked softly across the room along the side where the painite was located. The Doctor crept along the display towards it. Peering past him, Rose saw a man with his back to them. She guessed from the height and build that it was Parker. The Doctor glanced back at her and nodded.

They swiftly moved out from behind the case, flanking Parker on either side. He turned immediately, his eyes widening in surprise. His hand rose, holding a small, torch-like device. It had already made a deep cut through the glass in front of the painite, melting it away like butter. Rose lunged, and knocked the torch downward with her left arm, then grabbed the wrist holding the torch with her right hand. She swiveled, grabbing his other arm and crossing them, immobilizing the agent. 

The Doctor reached in and neatly plucked the torch from Parker’s hand. “Hmm, Tragonian. Another one of your acquisitions from Torchwood.” He quickly patted the agent down and confiscated a pistol, dropping it without ceremony into an inside pocket of his own hoodie.

Parker slumped slightly, and Rose stepped back, poised to move in again if necessary. “What do you want from me?” he whined.

The Doctor looked unimpressed. “You can start by telling us where you’ve stashed the dimensional device.”

Parker shrugged. “It’s back at my apartment.”

The Doctor smiled at him coldly. “Well, by all means, let’s go and pick it up then. We can have a little chat along the way.”

Rose took Parker’s arm, and the Doctor walked along the other side of him, escorting him out of the Vault and through the minerals exhibit. They rounded the corner and summoned the elevator. The ride down was silent. Rose was anxious to get answers, but this would not be the best place to get them. They really needed the Torchwood holding cells, but she wasn’t sure how to convince Pete to move past his memory alterations and allow them back into the complex. 

The elevator slowed to a stop at the ground floor. As the doors trundled open, they revealed the guard they had met earlier.

“Minister!” he beamed. “How did you…” The guard registered Parker standing between them and looked confused. Momentarily distracted by the guard, Rose’s hand loosened on the thief’s arm, and he used the opportunity to lunge forward, breaking her grasp completely. She swore, and both she and the Doctor bolted from the elevator after Parker, leaving the guard shouting questions and turning to follow them. Rose heard the guard radioing for assistance, and hoped that his colleagues wouldn’t be close enough to get in the way of the chase.   
Running full tilt alongside the Doctor, they swung into the main entrance hall. They could just see Parker across the hall heading into the Blue Zone of the museum. He dodged to the left and disappeared into another gallery.

“He’s headed into the dinosaur hall!” Rose panted, as she and the Doctor reached the corridor outside. They swiveled quickly and bolted through the doorway, then stopped.

If the dinosaurs had filled her with wonder when she was younger, Rose thought, the dinosaurs at night were downright creepy. Minimal lighting in the room made the shadows seem monstrous. Skeletons loomed from pockets of darkness, towering over the pair and inspiring a deep, primal fear. By unspoken agreement, the two lapsed into silence, and Rose found her hand seeking the Doctor’s. He squeezed it reassuringly, and they crept together into the darkened hall.

There were no sounds to be heard beyond Rose’s own labored breathing, and she suspected that Parker had hidden himself in here rather than keep running. Time was on his side, after all. If more guards showed up, they would almost certainly be escorted out, leaving Parker free to alter the memories of any guard he encountered and departing the museum freely. They had minutes at most to find him.

The Doctor was walking confidently at her side, gazing around the room. She wondered if he had better vision in the dark than she did. _Probably, smug Gallifreyan git._ If so, it was better to stick with him than split off. 

Suddenly, a beam of light lit the air with a crackling sound. Rose dived for cover behind the skeleton of a iguanodon. The Doctor followed her, and they crouched low, letting the base of the skeleton cover most of them.

“Apparently, I didn’t search him very thoroughly,” said the Doctor dryly, as two more beams lanced over their heads.

They began crawling along the stone base, carefully keeping their heads down. Ahead, to their right, was a diorama of a T-Rex stalking through a forest. They dashed for the display. Light beams lanced past them, then aimed high, cutting through an overhead exhibit featuring a triceratops skull. As they ran forward, the hanging fossil plunged into their path with a crash, narrowly missing them. They ducked behind it, using it as cover. Beams hit the thick dome of the skull, but were unable to penetrate the fossil. The Doctor attempted to peer around the edge of the head, armed with his sonic screwdriver, and was rewarded with a series of beams that narrowly missed him.

“Wait…” Rose panted. “You mentioned earlier that he has some interest in me. He could’ve killed me a few minutes ago, but his shot went wide. Let me try talking to him.”

The Doctor looked doubtful. “What if he just missed when he fired at you? And if he discovers your mind is shielded, he may not hold back.”

“Maybe… but I’m thinking we don’t have much time, and we’re runnin’ out of options. Let me talk to him and distract him.”

Before the Doctor could answer, she leaned around the skull. “Brian… it’s Rose. I’m just comin’ out for a bit of a talk, all right?” When no beam fire responded to her announcement, she slowly stood and slid out from cover.

_Hope I’m right about this._ She cautiously walked in the direction she guessed the beams were coming from. Ahead of her was a diorama of a larger dinosaur, fallen on its side and being eaten by much smaller carnivorous dinosaurs. The floor between her and the diorama was littered by pieces of fossilized skeleton displays that had been shattered by the falling skull. Bones were scattered everywhere, and she shivered, hoping it wasn’t a premonition.

“Brian… I don’t know what you’re tryin’ to accomplish, but if you’ve been in my memories, then you know what kind of a man the Doctor is. An’ you know he’s not just goin’ to stand around and let you destroy a whole other dimension. You also know that he’s a good man. He wants to help others, not hurt them. You know I trust him with my life. You can’t win like this, Brian. But you can let him help you.” She held up her hands pacifyingly, and hoped he could see her well enough to judge her expression.

A moment of silence followed, and then Parker’s voice replied, trembling with misery. “I won’t be sent back again, Rose. I won’t go back to the Void. You don’t know what it’s like there. The cold, the emptiness, it becomes part of your soul.” 

“Brian, no one’s trying to-” 

Before she could finish, the agent stood up from behind the display. The dim lights around him lit his face ominously from below, showing his fear and anger. “I know you trust the Doctor, Rose. But you trust Jack, too. I offered him so much, and he still banished me. I’m sorry, Rose. I can’t risk it. Not again.” The voice was bitter, and he slowly raised the small beam gun and pointed it at her. His hand was shaking.

“Jack?” Rose was too astonished to react to the immediate threat. A beam abruptly lanced out from the gun, striking her full in the chest. She felt an intense, burning pain and smelled the stomach churning odor of burning flesh. 

“What-“ It was all that Rose managed, and then everything went black.

* * *

Parker was running, gasping for breath. Only sheer terror was keeping him going now. His heart was pounding and his chest hurt. He had looked up as Rose fell, and the Doctor had stepped forward into the light. The Doctor’s eyes stared without expression, and Parker swore that within them, he could see the shadows of a terrible, damning fate awaiting him. Moments ago, nothing had seemed worse than the prospect of returning to the Void. Now, written into the crags and lines of the Doctor’s face, he could see that there were far worse possibilities.

The Doctor had stopped, illuminated by an overhead beam of light sent askew by the earlier firefight. He had stared down at Rose’s fallen body with an inscrutable expression, then considered Parker for a moment. He breathed one word in a chilling voice. “Run.”

Parker ran. It had only been minutes now, but it felt as though he had been running for hours. He fled blindly through the museum, but within his heart, he knew that escape was impossible. His steps carried him into a large hall. Huge white statues of gods and monsters lined the sides, with constellations and planets etched grey into the black slate stones. He paused for breath, panting. The statue to his left exploded, showering him with sharp shards. Parker turned to see a dark figure stride into the hall, its silvery hair glowing under the hall’s emergency lights. It raised its hand, and the Atlas figure to his right exploded, the stone sphere of the world crashing down from above.

Parker turned, ignoring his small wounds, and ran forward toward his only possible escape. An escalator, powered off after hours, led up through a red metal sphere. He dashed for it. Boom, the cyclops on his left was gone. Boom, the medusa on his right disappeared. The explosions herded him onward, pushing him toward the escalator that seemed now to be his only salvation. He dodged as the astronaut statue exploded, its head flying towards where he had been just moments ago. Boom, the scientist on the right was gone, and now he was at the escalator, and he knew, somehow, that if he just made it to the top, he’d be safe. His legs pumped, taking extra-large steps up the awkward metal stairs. The figure following remained at the bottom, watching the agent flee up, up, up, into the metal sphere and safety of the floors above.

And then, as he was halfway up, he heard the electrical crackle and whine of power. The escalator had turned on. It was moving! But not in the direction he needed. He watched as the promise of safety retreated with the metal sphere, and took one last desperate rush against the moving platform which now seemed to be carrying him downward far, far faster than an escalator would ordinarily go. And at the bottom, stood the Doctor, still calm and staring and watching as Parker was drawn inexorably back to his fate. The agent realized, suddenly, that this is what the Doctor had intended all along. To allow him the hope of escape, and then to remove it, as neatly as a surgeon. What sort of a man was he?

As Parker reached the bottom, his pursuer stood waiting for him. And in the Doctor’s eyes, he saw a new void, formed by the absence of mercy.


	18. Chapter 18

Rose awoke slowly and with considerable effort. As her crusted eyes struggled to open, she realized she was lying in a bright room. She struggled to sit up, but was met with a sharp pain and lay back immediately. Her thinking wasn’t too clear yet, and she tried to remember what had happened. Thoughts drifted lazily about her mind, dissipating before they could form into anything focused. It was easier to close her eyes again.

They had been in the museum, she recalled. She had been talking with Brian, hoping to calm him down and get them all out of the museum unscathed. He had a gun, and… _Yeah, looks like that plan didn’t work. Good move, Rose._ But he had said something odd. What was it? Something about Jack. She didn’t remember his exact words, but he had clearly met a Jack. Was it their Jack? The Doctor had suggested he had probably been to the other world before.

_The Doctor!_ If she could have sat up in alarm, she would. What had he done? Where was Brian? She took a deep, calming breath and tried to open her eyes again. This time she was able to crack them slowly, letting her eyes adjust to the light. Right, she was in a brightly lit white room. She felt the edges of the bed she was lying on. It was a thin mattress on a flexible metal frame. It seemed familiar to her. _Time to get up._

Anticipating the pain when she moved, she sat up slowly, experimenting with the directions that caused her the least harm. By not bending at all, she was able to lever herself upwards and look straight ahead. Now she knew where she was. The TARDIS medical bay. It didn’t look like the old one she was used to, but it was close enough. And the high tech nature of the instruments around her ruled out anywhere else on Earth.

She slowly turned her whole body, careful not to twist her chest, and slid her legs off the bed. Her body stiffened with surprise as she noticed the Doctor in a chair nearby, studying her. He sat with his head resting on his hand, a single finger over his mouth. 

“Doctor? What happened…?” He didn’t answer her for a moment. It was odd behavior, even for this new version of him. She wondered just how long he had been sitting there.

He stood and walked closer to her. “The short version? You decided to take a stroll in front of an alien with a beam weapon. Then a handsome genius from space saved you.”

Rose laughed. It made her chest hurt. “God, that was stupid. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“It’s starting to come back to me now why I used to call you ‘jeopardy friendly’. You’re lucky he missed major vital organs. This sort of target practice might explain why humans only developed one heart.” He paused. “How do you feel?” His hands moved as if to touch her then pulled back abruptly. Lines of exhaustion creased the skin around his eyes. 

“I’m all righ’. Bit of pain in my chest. Doctor, what happened to Brian? Is he-?”

“He’s been treated better than he deserved.” The words came out short and harsh. He was staring into her eyes with an almost frightening intensity. “You were trying to save him from further harm. It was never in question that we would catch him, only how he would have come out of it. You put your life at risk for another’s life, even a life you don’t care for. That is the definition of bravery. He shot you anyway. That is the definition of cowardice.”

Rose felt tears filling her eyes, and the Doctor still hadn’t stopped staring at her. He gazed at her with both wonder and pain. A single tear trickled down her cheek, and he reached up to brush it away, almost absently, with the back of his knuckle.

“Doctor?” she asked, finally breaking the silence. “What happened to him?”

The Doctor drew his hand away and stood silently, raising his eyes to stare sightlessly at the wall.

* * *

It had been a grim night, and he wished he could say it was his first one, but that would be a lie. He had watched the beam lance out of the gun and hit Rose. She began to fall, and his perception of time had slowed for him. It seemed an eternity before she hit the floor. His hearing sharpened. Every breath, every beat of his hearts was crystalline and loud, magnified beyond even Time Lord normal. He felt nothing as he looked down at Rose’s still body, but at the same time everything seemed so clear.

His prey had staggered, his eyes wide with terror at his own actions. Stepping out into the light, the Oncoming Storm had whispered one word. “Run.” The man had taken one look and fled from the room.  
Sensing time for all he wanted to accomplish, he had knelt before Rose, and a quick check had ensured that she still stirred with life. The hole in her torso was letting air into her chest cavity, and she was in danger of a collapsed lung. He took a minute to use his sonic, removing the air from the hole and temporarily sealing it. It wasn’t right, but it would do, and he hoped that she would be out of danger until he had completed his next task.

Standing, he continued to stalk his prey. As he walked through the halls, listening intently, she had appeared before him. The woman with the clouded face and the dark hair. She whispered to him, even as he tracked down the man who fled from him. “We need him alive, you know. There are still too many unanswered questions.”

His pace did not slow in the slightest. This man had hurt Rose.

“And she would want him alive too. And will, if she wakes up… When she wakes up.” The brunette was swiftly fading away.

His thoughts were a growl. He considered as he walked. _Fourteen minutes until I have caught up with him. Six minutes until the guards have discovered Rose. Eleven minutes until they reach us. I’ll have three minutes with him alone._ He smiled coldly. _Plenty of time._

* * *

After reaching the TARDIS, he had done all he could for Rose. The shot had not damaged any major organs, but she had a severe burn on her chest, and it would take her a while to recover. How many hours had he sat in the medical bay, just watching her as her chest rose and fell with each shallow breath? He hated how still she lay, and he hated the pallor of her face from the blood she had lost.

“You love it, though,” the brunette had told him. “The ‘Oncoming Storm’ full of righteous fury, ready to take vengeance on those who dared to harm the ones he cares for. I’ve seen it before, Doctor, remember? If you really wanted to protect her, wouldn’t it be easier to not bring her into danger in the first place?”

_Perhaps. I’ve lost her ‘forever’ twice now. Will it happen a third time?_

It had occurred to him, as he sat and gazed at her on the medical bed, that this was likely to happen again, given the sort of life he led and Rose’s own unflinching bravery. His mind cast back to his inner rage when The Wire had removed Rose’s face, and his uneasy feelings of dread after they had escaped the sanctuary base. Yet at the time, he had not considered for a second returning Rose to her old life on the Powell Estate. Had he been monumentally selfish?

And had she really tried to end her life without him, or was that more trickery? There had been many closed doors in her memories. Not to mention that traveling with him almost certainly meant that Rose would never see her family again. Again, was he so terribly self-absorbed that he would suggest she cut all ties with every loved one she had, just to be with him? He felt a momentary bout of self-loathing. Was he strong enough to do what was best for her, or would he risk destroying her life just to make his own feel more complete?

* * *

The Doctor pulled his stare back to Rose reluctantly. She was watching him, and he could see the concern etched in her large, dark eyes.

She was talking again now, he realized. Asking again about Brian.

“Yes,” he answered, snapping himself out of his reverie. “He’s on board.” 

Rose looked slightly surprised. “Did you question him? Who is he? What about the device, an’ what he was trying to accomplish?”

“I have an idea who he is. The rest, no. I had… other concerns.” His gaze settled on Rose, and she had no doubt in her mind who the Doctor had been most concerned about. 

She flushed. “I want to talk to him.”

“As I seem to recall, that didn’t go so well last time.” His dry sarcasm stood out against the concern still in his eyes.

“I know. But people, when they’re scared and they have a gun, they’re likely to use it. I didn’t know how scared he was. He doesn’t have a weapon now. I think he’ll talk.”

He bristled. “What do you want to know? Why he wanted to destroy an entire world? Does it even matter? I am tired, Rose, so _tired_ of so many thinking the easiest route to resolving their own difficulties is to kill others.” 

Rose reached forward, and took his hand, squeezing it lightly. “I think it matters. Trying to understand others, and when we can, help them, is the only path to showing the rest of the universe a better way. I know you’re tired, Doctor. But how long have you fought, every day, to help others? You could’ve just given up, found a nice planet somewhere, with a cottage an’ a nice view.”

“You’re mixing up altruism, Rose, with the desire to avoid dying of complete boredom.” He relaxed slightly. “I don’t know that you’ll get through to him. Still, I don’t think it will hurt to try this time.”

Rose slid off the medical bed and followed the Doctor through the halls of the TARDIS, moving slowly to avoid aggravating her wound. The Doctor slowed his pace at once and offered her his arm. 

As they carefully moved down the hall, the Doctor looked down at the floor. 

“I’m sorry, Rose. It was my fault that you were shot.” He didn’t look up.

She grinned and bumped him slightly with her shoulder, then winced. “It’s not your fault… last I checked, you weren’t the one holding the gun.”

He stared ahead and down. “I was in a hurry when I searched him. The other gun should never have slipped through.” The Doctor paused and took a deep breath. “You could have died.” His last words were little more than a whisper.

Rose stopped and turned towards him. He looked up at her. “I said it’s not your fault an’ I meant it. Maybe you could have found that gun. But how stupid was I for walkin’ out like that? I should’ve known better. I trained with Torchwood for just this kind of situation. An’ the truth is… I was enjoying myself too much. The two of us on a mental adventure to save the universe. I’ve missed it. I got sloppy.” She looked at him more closely. “You’re not going to believe that, though. I can tell. So let’s both agree that the person most responsible is in that room up ahead, all righ’?”

The Doctor nodded after a moment and continued helping her down the hall. Soon they reached an unmarked door, and the Doctor opened it and led Rose inside. It was an extremely plain room with flat white walls. Rose suspected the TARDIS has generated it just for the purpose of holding its captive. Most of the room was darkened, but in the center, a device on the floor was generating a glowing forcefield around Parker, who sat huddled miserably inside of it.

Parker looked up, and Rose could see his eyes widen with terror when he saw the Doctor. _What did the Doctor do to him?_ Then he turned and noticed Rose, and she saw hope light up on his face.

“Rose!” Parker exclaimed. “You’re alive!”

“Yeah, well, no thanks to you, mate.” She turned to the Doctor. “Can you give us a few alone?”

The Doctor looked at them both and nodded. “Don’t lower the force field and stay a couple feet back from him.” Looking at Parker meaningfully, he added, “I’ll know if anything is wrong.” He turned and strode out of the room.

Rose noticed a plain white stool on one side of the room, and sat down gratefully on it.

Parker looked remorseful. “I’m sorry, Rose. I panicked. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

She ignored his apologies. “You said somethin’ about Jack. Tell me about Jack.”

He looked down. “Jack. I followed him through the void, you know. He had such extraordinary memories, and they drew me to him. I helped him, too. He remembered so much that he had lost. And he rejected it all, just to cast me adrift in the Void once more.”

Rose frowned. “So you just wanted revenge? And you’d kill billions of other people to get that?”

“It’s not killing. It would be just like that branch of the way things could be wasn’t there anymore. Most of those people would still be alive here, Rose. Even Jack, somewhere, could still be alive here.” Brian looked at her earnestly. “You don’t know what it’s like in the Void. You don’t know what he did to me.”

She stared at him unsympathetically, and he abruptly changed the subject. “I love it here so much, Rose. I didn’t make the same mistakes. I… I tried to change things as little as possible when I integrated myself. And I had to do that just to survive here. You brought me here, Rose, you know.”

“Wha’, me? And how did I do that exactly?” Rose eyed him suspiciously.

“You drew me here with your memories. Even more enticing than Jack’s. Multiple dimensions, times, worlds. Your body bathed in glowing light and filled with power…” Brian trailed off to a whisper. Rose looked at him, slightly confused. She was fairly certain she didn’t remember any of the latter, but it was hard to say how Brian saw things, if he was an alien as the Doctor had mentioned.

Brian was looking at her plaintively now. “Rose, please… I can’t go back to the Void again. I’ll go mad in there. So empty… so cold… I can help you, too. I know there are things you’d rather not remember. I could arrange that. All I’m asking for is my life. My life, and I can take away the pain inside you.”

“What pain?”

“The Doctor, Rose. Think about it. All the years you’ve spent hurting because of him.” She opened her mouth, but he interrupted before she could speak. “Don’t deny it, I know it’s there. I’ve seen your mind. Standing there, on that beach. He just left you. Left, after you’d worked so hard to get back to him.”

She shook her head. “It’s not that simple.”

“Isn’t it? Sure, you had love, and you had some solace in his duplicate, but how often did you stop and wonder how the Doctor was doing without you? Whether he had simply moved on? And then felt terrible because it had even occurred to you? Tell me Rose, has it really been better since he came back this time? Much better than when you traveled on the TARDIS with him, and he never once told you how much you mattered? What was that he said on the beach, ‘Does it need saying?’ Is his light so bright, Rose, that you must spend your days walking in his shadow? Can you imagine what your life would be like, to love someone and not have to compare them to him?”

Rose stared at him silently, unmoving on the stool.

* * *

The Doctor watched Rose on the screen in the console room. Any guilt he might have felt at eavesdropping had quickly faded under the fierce desire to shield her from any further harm at the hands of this creature. Still, he would not interfere as long as the alien remained inside the forcefield. 

Listening to Parker’s words pained him deeply, but he found little to disagree with. Rose might be better off, forgetting him, but he wasn’t about to let Parker take her memories.

* * *

It was several minutes before Rose spoke. Parker just watched her, as she thought over his words. Finally, she stood up.

“Yeah, you’re right. A lot of things in my life would be easier, if I didn’t remember the Doctor. But you can’t just take the Doctor, see? You can’t take away the Doctor without taking away everything he’s showed me. The worlds, the people, the compassion. I’d forget places and events that filled me with awe, or sadness, or joy, or anger. I’m a better person for my time with the Doctor, and if the cost of that is carrying around a bit more pain inside, then that’s a price I’m willing to pay. I’m sorry Parker, but we’re done here.”

She turned, and walked to the door. 

“Rose… please don’t go! Rose, wait! You don’t know what he’ll do…!” His anguished voice echoed in the chamber behind her, pleading with her to return. 

The Doctor was already walking towards her as she emerged into the corridor. The door closed quietly behind her. It was hard to read the expression on the Doctor’s face, but he seemed to be suppressing a smile, and his movements were energetic and enthusiastic.

“All done?” he asked cheerily.

She nodded, and they walked back together towards the console room. 

“Doctor… who… what is Parker?”

“Well, I’m not really sure. Not exactly. But there are a number of societies that cast their criminals into the Void as a punishment for truly heinous crimes. Of course, they mostly don’t survive that. But Parker seems to have an extremely resilient ego. He’s held onto his sense of self despite having every other sensation or experience torn away from him. That isn’t an easy thing to do.”

“So, what, we send him back to the Void, and it’s like a prison?”

The Doctor shook his head. “No. He’s already escaped twice, it seems. I have something else in mind for him. He knows.” His words sounded cold, and Rose wondered whether she wanted to ask for details. She started to get a sense of why Parker had seemed so desperate.

He continued on, not noticing her uneasy expression. “But first, we have a lot of damage control to do back at Torchwood. He’s manipulated an enormous amount of memories and done massive damage. And we need to pick up the dimensional hole punch so it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands. It’s better off left in the TARDIS. Not to mention, it’s my only way home.”

Rose nodded. She noticed he said ‘my way home’, not ‘our way home’. It made her uneasy. Despite leaving her memories in place, Parker’s comments had hit a little too close to home. Would he want her to leave with him? And if he did, would she want to go?


	19. Chapter 19

Pete Tyler drummed his fingers nervously on the hospital reception desk. The same sentence ran through his head over and over. Combined with the beat of his fingers, it formed a mantra for his thoughts.

 _Jackie is going to kill me._ Drum drum. _Jackie is going to kill me._ Drum drum. _Jackie is going to kill-_

“Mr. Tyler?” The nurse’s voice interrupted his thoughts, for which he was profoundly grateful. “I’ve located Ms. Tyler’s room. It’s on the 5th floor, room 526.”

“Thank you.” He turned from the desk and hurried to the nearest elevator. _Jackie is going to kill me. Jackie is going to kill me._ The last day and a half had been terrifying. First, Rose breaking the Doctor out of Torchwood and disappearing. Then the call after she had shown up in the ER, unconscious, carried in by an older gentleman. He knew who that must have been. Pete’s mouth set in a grim line. The Doctor destroyed everyone around him, and now he had hurt Rose as well. To think that he had been starting to consider that lowlife’s words, wonder if he was misremembering things. Well, the proof was in the pudding, as his mum would’ve said.

The Doctor had told the ER to call Pete, and then had disappeared. That’s what they said had happened, anyway. As he rode up to the fifth floor, he resolved to stay aware in case the Doctor chose to return to the scene. Pete would be ready for him.

The elevator chimed as it reached the fifth floor, and he exited into a sterile hospital corridor. Nurses hurried back and forth, carrying clipboards and amenities for patients. Pete had been surprised to realize how anxious Rose’s disappearance had made him. He had come to care about Rose as much as if he had raised her with Jackie. In some ways, it pained him that he had missed all those years, even though Jackie and Rose were a world away. 

He had chosen not to tell his wife about the Doctor’s arrest. She harbored an irrational attachment to the Doctor. How many times had he heard her say how grateful they ought to be to the Doctor for bringing them together?

But the Doctor hadn’t brought them together. The world hopping device that Jake and Mickey had created was what really allowed them to meet in Jackie’s world. He knew Jackie well enough to know that there was no talking her out of it, nor would there be any way to convince her of how destructive the Doctor was. So when Rose disappeared with the alien, he'd kept his mouth shut until he’d heard further updates. Jackie wouldn’t have thought it unusual that Rose wasn’t answering her cell. Not with the way she’d run off with the Doctor the moment he appeared.

Pete continued down the corridor grimly, glancing at the door numbers. First they had been going up, now they were going down. No wonder he disliked visiting hospitals so much. They were like a bloody labyrinth. _Jackie is going to kill me._ Now that he’d received a call, saying Rose had been admitted with a serious chest wound, there would be no way to keep what had happened from his wife. She would be livid, and he guessed she’d blame him for the entire incident, even though he still had no idea how Rose had been injured. If he had to guess, he would say it was linked with the ‘gas explosion’ at the Natural History Museum. What were the chances that an explosion would only destroy two rooms of the museum, and not even adjacent ones? That brand of chaos had the Doctor written all over it.

The first order of business, for now, was to see how Rose was doing. She’d been unconscious when she’d been admitted, so they hadn’t had much information for him. And after that? He was going to find that alien git, and rip him limb from limb for harming his daughter.

 _Finally, here it is. Room 526._ Pete opened the door, and walked into the hospital room. It was a private room, the curtains drawn to block out the bright lights from London at night. It was quiet, except for the murmur of voices in the corridor and the quiet hiss of the machines around the bed. There Rose lay still, her eyes closed and her breathing quiet and steady.

 _Please just let her be all right._ Watching her, he was no longer worried about Jackie or angry at the Doctor. All he wanted was for the girl he had come to love so much to be well again.

He stepped slowly toward the bed, his shoes clicking on the hard white floor. _Blimey, what’s he done to you, love?_ An IV was attached to her one exposed arm, its tubes running up to the clear plastic bag hanging above. The blankets had been tucked up around her shoulders. Careful not to wake her, Pete leaned in and gently kissed her forehead.

“I let you down, sweetheart,” he whispered softly.

Suddenly, Rose’s exposed arm snapped up and grabbed his shirt.

“Sorry, Dad,” she said regretfully. “But you won’t remember this.” Her other hand slid out from under the covers. She was wearing a thick, heavy gauntlet, and her gloved hand clutched a pale, fat worm with small horns protruding from its head. Before he could recover from his surprise and pull away, she pressed the worm against his neck, carefully keeping its jagged-toothed maw turned away from his skin. Pete’s eyes widened in shock, and then looked slightly glazed.

“Okay, that’s enough.” The Doctor stepped out from behind a privacy screen on one side of the room.

Rose pulled the worm away from Pete’s neck and slid out of bed, carefully holding the creature at arm’s length. The Doctor offered a large glass jar, and she dropped the worm inside. Holding the jar gingerly, he screwed on a metal top and set the container aside. 

Pete was staggering slightly, and looking around with a confused look on his face. He looked down at his adopted daughter, dressed in a patient’s gown. “Rose…? What happened? Where… am I? Is this a hospital? Are you all right?”

Rose smiled reassuringly. “It’s all right, Dad. You’ve had a bit of amnesia. Let’s get out of here, and I’ll explain.” The Doctor moved over to Rose and carefully removed the IV from her arm. 

Pete looked at the Doctor, startled. “Wait, you’re checking out? Are you sure you’re all right? And who’s this bloke then?” 

Rose stood up and hugged Pete. “That’s the Doctor,” she whispered. “I’ll explain soon, just trust me.” She moved behind the privacy screen at the side of the room and changed into her normal clothes. Pete smiled awkwardly at the Doctor, not really understanding who this older man could possibly be. Rose must be mistaken about the Doctor. The Doctor he knew looked completely different.

* * *

“I have to hold a _what_?” Rose had stared in horror at the jar the Doctor held, with its fat pale worm curled up inside.

“A memory worm. We need to start eliminating the memories that Parker implanted in the people he came into contact with.” 

“Can’t you just, you know, take out the memories? Like we did?”

“That was a very intrusive and exhausting process. I can’t really do that for so many people.”

“But you did it for me.” Rose looked at him expectantly.

“Yes.”

“Okay... So what does this thing do?”

“Well, it removes memories when it touches you. The longer it touches you, the more powerful the effect. Of course, if it bites you, you could lose whole decades.”

“We can’t erase decades of Dad’s memories!”

“Exactly. Which is why I will show you how to handle it, and we will only touch Pete briefly with it. Enough to eliminate the last couple of weeks, and possibly a little more. Even if the memories he implanted took place years ago, they were only implanted recently, so the worm should remove them based on when they were created, not when they were supposed to have occurred.”

“What about retcon? That’s usually how Torchwood removes people’s memories of alien encounters.”

“Do you have some retcon with you now?”

“No.”

“Then I guess we’ll have to use the worm until we have Pete convinced we’re the good guys, and then you can switch to retcon for the rest of Torchwood.”

“And the memory worm won’t do any other damage?”

“It shouldn’t. Of course, they won’t be able to remember anything for the past few weeks, but I find most humans are disturbingly unconcerned by the number of things they can’t remember.”

“Righ’. I get it. I think.” Rose stared at the jar uncomfortably.

“First, though, we need to get to your father. He’ll have Torchwood after us until we remove the memories that Parker altered. We’ll need to lure him somewhere where we can use the memory worm.”

Rose fingered her chest uncomfortably. “Okay, yeah. I think I know where.”

“Good. I got enough of a look inside Parker’s mind after I captured him that I was able to identify his victims. It is critical that we wipe him from the memory of everyone who came into contact with him in this world.”

Rose frowned. “Why?”

“Parker reached this world initially by anchoring himself to your memories, Rose. It’s why he’s been so attached to you. Once he was able to link to you through the tiniest of cracks in the Void, he was able to pull himself into this world. Then, as he implanted smaller anchors in the minds of others, it has allowed him to remain in this world so he isn’t cast back into the Void itself. We need to remove all of those smaller anchors. We don’t want to let even one stay attached.”

“But you and I still remember him.”

“Yes.” The Doctor paused for a moment and added, “When the TARDIS leaves this world, if I am the only one that retains memories of him, he should stayed anchored to me and remain inside the prison in the TARDIS. After that, I can… take care of him accordingly.”

“An’ what about me, Doctor? What about my memories?” Rose bit her lip and stared at the Doctor uncertainly.

The Doctor shifted, suddenly very interested in polishing the railing near the central console. He avoided her gaze studiously. “Well, I’ll need your assistance, so we won’t remove any memories until the last moment necessary.”

“But… will I forget seeing you again?” Her words were barely audible now.

The Doctor looked up, gazing directly into her large, dark eyes. “I’ll never let that happen.”

* * *

“I’m sorry, this is just a lot to swallow, Rose,” Pete said, confusion in his voice as they drove toward the Tyler mansion. “We have to erase the memories for the last several weeks of nearly everyone at Torchwood, and a few civilians as well? And you can’t tell me why?”

“No, Dad. All I can say is… it’s an alien threat. You’re going to have to trust me. And the Doctor.” She glanced into the back seat, where the Doctor was sitting quietly, letting Rose handle the bulk of the conversation with her father.

Pete sighed and rubbed his eyes. “It’s a lot to put on people, but that’s our job, right? The civilians… do you think your mum has been affected? I’d hate to have to do this to Jacks.”

The Doctor nodded. “Yes, I’m afraid Jackie was affected by the alien. I saw her face among the others who had encountered it.”

Pete shook his head. “Jackie’s going to have my head over this.”

Rose reached over and squeezed Pete’s hand. “She’ll be a lot better off afterwards, Dad.” Pete turned and smiled at her. The Doctor watched their moment of fond reassurance from the back seat, and settled back to look out the window once more.

Soon, they pulled up at the Tyler mansion and Pete parked the car in the large garage. Once inside, it was a simple matter to ambush Jackie. Pete led Rose into the living room and called Jackie in. 

“Pete? You’re home early! I don’t mind, only I didn’t expect…” She trailed off as she entered the living room and saw Rose sitting on the couch. “Rose? What are you doing here, sweetheart? I mean, I’m happy to see you, but I didn’t think you’d be by. Not with the Doctor running around.”

Pete frowned. “Rose has been in hospital. I picked her up just now.”

“Hospital!” Jackie’s eyes went wide and she hurried over to Rose. “What happened?”

Rose opened her mouth to explain and saw the Doctor move swiftly from where he had been hidden behind the couch. The memory worm touched the back of Jackie’s neck, and she froze. He pulled it away moments later, and Pete hurried to catch Jackie as she staggered.

“Pete?” Jackie’s voice sounded fuzzy and confused. “Why… How did I get to the living room? How did-“ She looked down and noticed Rose. “Rose, honey, when did you arrive? Are you staying for dinn- wait, is it dinner time?”

Rose smiled. “It’s all right, Mum. You’ve just lost a few memories, is all. That’s why you’re confused. But yeah, I’ll stay for a bit.” She noticed the Doctor hurriedly pocketing the memory worm jar before Jackie noticed. He coughed lightly.

Jackie turned at the sound. “Oi! Who are you? How did you-“ Rose cut her off quickly. “Mum, this is the Doctor.”

Jackie’s eyes widened. “The Doctor!” She leaned toward him. “I always believed you’d come back. Only I didn’t think you’d look so _old_. Well, this explains everything. You drag trouble along behind you wherever you go.” She paused and smiled. “Still, it’s good to see you. Come here.” 

Jackie leaned forward with her arms open, and the Doctor hurriedly backed away. “It’s all right. We’ve done the hugging thing. Really. Even if you can’t remember.”

She rolled her eyes. “Still rude.”

Pete put his hand on her arm. “Jacks, you’ve lost a few weeks’ worth of memories. I have too. We’ll have to do a bit of catching up with what we’ve missed. Let’s order some food. We can eat and figure out what to do next.”

Jackie frowned, still feeling confused by the barrage of events. After a moment, she collected herself and walked down the hall to the kitchen. Sliding open a drawer, she began to look through takeout menus. Just as she’d picked a local Indian restaurant, a quiet cough startled her.

“Oh! Doctor! You gave me a fright.” She put the menu down and studied the older man, trying to see the Doctors she had known in his eyes. This one seemed more distant, and he had an oddly cautious expression on his face.

“Jackie, I wanted to ask you something.”

Jackie shook her head. “I thought I’d be the one asking all the questions. You told us you couldn’t come back. Do you- do you know what happened to himself? The other you, like?”

The Doctor nodded solemnly. “Yes. I found out after I got here. And I’m so sorry, Jackie. I had no idea that would happen.”

She frowned. “No, I know that. Only it broke Rose’s heart, you know. All of our hearts, really. He was family.”

The Doctor froze and looked away for a moment. “How did Rose take it, after he died?”

Jackie scowled. “Well how d’you _think_ she took it? They were married, and you know what the two of you were like! Thick as thieves. Devastated her, it did! And I don’t think it was healthy, staying in her flat after he was gone. She wouldn’t leave, and I tried everything to get her to go-“

The Doctor interrupted Jackie’s tirade. “But did she do anything dangerous? Did she ever try to hurt herself, go off a bridge, that sort of thing?”

Jackie stared at him in disbelief. “Oh, don’t be stupid. She loved him, but Rose isn’t about to jump off a bridge. It took a while, but she picked herself up again. Just like I did, when I lost Pete.” She looked hard at him. “But now that you’re back, I imagine she’ll drop everything to go running off with you again.”

The Doctor opened his mouth and closed it again. He found himself without an answer.

* * *

Rose felt relaxed for the first time in the last week. The Doctor had excused himself before dinner, which hadn’t surprised her. She supposed the whole scene had been too ‘domestic’ for him, but he’d made excuses about retrieving the dimensional hole punch. Tony had been fortunate enough to never encounter Parker, and had been able to help her fill in their parents on the events of the last few weeks that weren’t related to the memory-altering alien. Once Pete and Jackie had felt more comfortable, she realized that it was the first family dinner she had enjoyed in a long time.

As the meal shifted toward dessert, and conversation began to wind down, she found her thoughts becoming more troubled. Up until now, she had been running from one emergency to the next, dealing with each moment as it had come. Now Parker was locked in the TARDIS, the Doctor had worked with Pete on a plan to erase the memories of all of the Torchwood personnel who had been affected, and the time would soon come for the him to be returning to the other universe.

She stared moodily at her half-full glass of wine. Tony was excusing himself now, and gave her a hug before he disappeared back into his room. Jackie was picking up the plates, and Pete had headed into his office to start on the memory-wipe arrangements. If she went with the Doctor, she realized, this might well have been her last dinner with her family. She shivered. In her idle thoughts of traveling with the Doctor again, she had conveniently edited her family out of the picture. It seemed as though she was doomed to lose someone she cared about regardless of what she decided to do. If a choice was even an option. 

Jackie came in to take more plates, and glanced at her daughter with concern.

“No sooner does he wander back into this world than you’re sittin’ here silent, weight of the world on your shoulders.” Jackie shook her head. “He always does this to you, love. And I suppose you’re going to run away with him now, go back to that mad life of yours in the stars?”

Rose shrugged. “I don’t know. He hasn’t asked me to go with him.” She looked down at her plate uncomfortably. “Maybe we’re done with that.”

Jackie rolled her eyes. “From the moment he waltzed into our lives, I’ve watched you two carry on like no one else in the world matters. He’ll ask, sweetheart.”

“This time it’s different, Mum. He’s different. A thousand years have gone by for him.”

Jackie cleaned up several plates with bustling efficiency, then paused at the kitchen door. “One year, a thousand years, a million years. That man will always look at you the same way, Rose.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> __  
>  **(An epilogue follows this chapter.)**   
> 

The Doctor sat in a workroom of the TARDIS, staring at the pieces of the dimensional hole punch laid out neatly on a work table. He’d quickly excused himself earlier from the family dinner at the Tyler mansion-

“You mean ‘fled like the devil was behind you’,” commented the brunette with a smile, sitting in a swivel chair and spinning herself lazily in circles.

He scowled. _Excused himself_ from the family dinner, and retrieved the hole punch from Parker’s apartment. As he’d expected, the alien hadn’t had the imagination to leave it anywhere else; it was sitting on his kitchen counter between several old cartons of Chinese take-out. The Doctor had still needed painite to repair the device, but it was considerably easier for him to retrieve a chunk of the mineral from a planet rich in painite than the tiny shard housed in the Natural History Museum. It took a few more attempts than usual to locate a suitable planet - this universe’s planets were not identical to his world’s either in location or content – but he had finally found one rich in the mineral, and returned with it hastily back to the spare room in Rose’s flat.

Now he sat, in quiet contemplation of the device he would need to rebuild to get home. There was no doubt he could do it, of course-

“Ego, much?” laughed the brunette.

He tried to ignore her. The device was a puzzle to him, and he loved puzzles. Figuring out how the pieces fit together in the correct order, he’d soon have it back in working condition, if not improved upon. And after he verified that all the memory wipes had proceeded as planned, it would be time… His thoughts trailed off.

“Don’t know what you’re going to do?” she said, raising an eyebrow.

The Doctor scowled. He wished his relationship with Rose were as clear as the pieces laid out in front of him. For a moment, he tried to imagine all the elements of the choice ahead of him as neatly organized as the pieces of the device. Here, the immediate connection he had felt to Rose, after so long. There, her attachment to her family and friends in this universe. And over there, his relief when he had discovered that her suicide attempts were no more than false memories implanted by Parker. 

But what now? If she went with him, she would break the hearts of those who loved her here. At the same time, he recalled with crystal clarity the speech she had given Parker. She clearly treasured their travels together.

“What about you, what would you gain?” The brunette was leaning on his work table now, which he found incredibly irritating.

“A friend, a companion to travel with…”

The brunette rolled her eyes. “Right back to sailing on that river in Egypt again, I see.”

“You talk too much.” He turned away from the brunette and began working on the device, putting other disquieting thoughts out of his mind.

* * *

Rose drove into the garage of her apartment building, parking the car she had borrowed from her dad in her designated space. She hadn’t heard from the Doctor since he had left before dinner. His departure had been abrupt. She had noticed this version of him often seemed disinterested in other people, and as soon as dinner was mentioned, he had already been halfway on his way to the door. 

The TARDIS was still parked in the spare room when she got there, so she let herself in. The Doctor wasn’t in the control room, but she poked around the corridors until a door popped up that she hadn’t noticed before. She knew the TARDIS was directing her to his location; he was likely busy with the dimensional hole punch.

Just as she thought, the door opened into a simple workroom with a large table and machinery piled on the shelves. The Doctor sat, tinkering with pieces of the device laid out in front of him. 

“Is that the hole punch, then?” she asked, coming up behind him. Sudden nostalgia tugged at her heartstrings, as she recalled the many times she’d quietly watched him disassembling devices. It was easy to look at his back in his hoodie and imagine a pinstriped coat or a leather jacket. 

“Yes,” he answered without looking up from his work. “How was dinner with your family?”

“Good. Nice. Haven’t had a family meal for a while without stress or Mum nagging.”

He smiled. “I didn’t know that was possible.”

She stifled a laugh. “Not that you’d know, taking off so quickly.”

“Well, I thought it might be more important to retrieve the dangerous universe-destroying device than to sit around making chit chat with your parents. But maybe my priorities are confused.” He strapped on an odd metallic eyepiece over his right eye. It seemed to have different lenses that could be rotated in and out of position.

“Excuses, excuses…” She chewed her lower lip. “So, um, how soon do you think you can fix it? You _can_ fix it, righ’?”

“Of course I can fix it. I could rebuild a Sontaran laser cannon into a children’s merry-go-round in the dark with my hands tied. A day, day and a half.”

Rose continued to chew her lip. He hadn’t turned around or noticed her nervous look. They still hadn’t discussed their- or his- departure. She fretted, debating the best way to bring it up. 

Before she could say anything on the subject, the Doctor spoke. “Rose,” he said, carefully soldering a strange blue and silver rectangle. “When I first got here, I ah, took the liberty of looking at your husband’s computer.”

She blinked. “What? Why?”

“Well, at the time I was looking for more information about what had happened to him. He left a letter for me.”

“Yeah?” She supposed she shouldn’t be surprised. No one knew the Doctor better than her husband. They were, after all, the same man, something her family had never quite grasped as well as she had. It didn’t bother her if the Doctor had gone through her husband’s things. In an odd way, they were more the Doctor’s possessions than hers.

“He didn’t want to let me any further into his files until I spoke to you first.”

Rose couldn’t help but laugh. “Can’t imagine why.”

The Doctor was silent a moment. “Do you know how to get into the files?”

Rose thought about it. “Yeah, I think I do. Just a mo’.” She turned and hurried out of the TARDIS and into her own bedroom. In her jewelry box was an odd locket her husband had given her. He had warned her never to open it until it was the right time. Somehow, she knew that time was now. Picking up the silver chain, she carried it back to the Doctor and laid it down on the work table.

He looked at it through his strange eyepiece and rotated the lenses several times. “Interesting. How did you know this was for me?”

She shrugged. “Just knew, that’s all.”

The Doctor nodded to himself. “I believe he planted a low level telepathic suggestion associated with the locket. So you would ignore it until it was time to hand it to me.” He picked up the locket and eyed it, his right eye looking enormous through the current lens of his eyepiece.

“Yes, this is it. It probably has a mental pulse inside of it, and when opened, will give me the sequence he used to lock the files. Clever fellow.”

She rolled her eyes. “You mean you’re so clever.”

He grinned. “Isn’t that what I said?" He abruptly changed the subject. "I've been thinking about the vortisaur. I'll load it into the TARDIS tonight. Shouldn't be a problem while it's sedated. Pete is starting the mindwiping tomorrow at Torchwood?”

Rose nodded. “Yeah. I’ll help him get through it all. Should be sorted by the end of the day, with luck.” She paused. He had already turned back to working, and she couldn’t quite bring herself to ask him about his departure. “Um, well, I’d better get some sleep then. It will probably be a long day tomorrow.” She paused awkwardly.

The Doctor looked up at her and smiled. It was hard to see his expression with the strange eyepiece strapped to his face, but she thought his gaze lingered a moment. “Good night, Rose.”

Giving up, she backed out of the room and left the TARDIS. _Righ’ coward you are. He’s never going to tell you unless you ask._ Rose stomped into her room and threw herself on her bed, sighing. _Tomorrow. Definitely tomorrow._

* * *

Rose sat in the white walled conference room in Torchwood, waiting for the next agent to be escorted in. She felt exhausted, and bored, and it was only noon. This day felt like it would never end. Pete had called in all of the agents and sequestered everyone in the cafeteria. Four at a time, men and women were led up to the conference room, debriefed in the vaguest possible terms by Rose on the need to take retcon to lose weeks of memories. Their questions were answered and they were handed three blue pills and a paper cup of water. She would wait for the drugs to take hold, calm the confused men and women, give them a final debriefing and send them off to a different floor so their memories couldn’t be contaminated by the agents who hadn’t yet met with her. She had tried to speed things up with larger groups, but she found there was too much debate and discussion amongst the agents and it slowed the entire process down.

Four by four, they were making their way through the entire personnel of Torchwood, but it was likely to take all day. She had even released Morris and put him through the procedure. Pete and several agents who had already had the treatment were tracking down the affected civilians and dosing them as well. She wished she had that job. At least then she would have been able to get a breath of fresh air.

In the back of her mind, Rose was trying not to worry. She knew her personal concerns about the Doctor were really behind her restlessness. Despite her resolution to focus on the task at hand and worry about her personal problems later, the same thoughts kept popping into her head over and over. _What if the Doctor doesn’t want me to join him? What if he pulls a runner and just vanishes like last time?_ And once in a while, the quietest voice in the furthest reaches of her mind whispered, _What if he doesn’t need me anymore?_

These voices would make her mad if she let them. So she pressed on with her work. And once in a while, she quieted the voices by addressing them. _He’s not likely to run. He’s still got to remove my memory of Parker. As long as I remember Parker, the Doctor won’t have left._ That was the only question she had an answer to, though.

By mid-afternoon, her worry had grown into a simmering rage. How dare he do this again? She had grown and accomplished so much, and it seemed like one visit was enough to reduce her to a teenager, staring out the window and worrying about whether a boy liked her. It was time to end these absurd games. She would ask him what he intended as soon as she finished with the mind wipes today. She might not like the answer, but at least she would have one.

In the meantime, sighed Rose, she had another group to bring into the conference room.

* * *

The Doctor welded the last piece of the hole punch into place. Done. He turned it around, admired it, and tested powering it on and off. There was no way to know for sure whether it worked, of course, until he used it. But he was reasonably certain that it would work properly, and he would soon be going home.

For the moment, it was probably time to bring Parker some food. There was a tray waiting for him in the kitchen to bring to his prisoner – a ham sandwich, an apple, and a cup of tea.

 _More than he deserves._ The Doctor carried it down to the hallway, then opened the door into the spartan room occupied solely by his prisoner. Parker looked tired and morose, but the Doctor found he cared very little about his prisoner’s plight. Only the thought of how Rose might feel had kept him from dropping him into a black hole after he first captured him. And after listening to Parker’s little speech to Rose yesterday, he cared even less.

The Doctor slid the tray through the forcefield silently. 

Parker looked up at him with a pleading expression. “Let me go, Doctor. Please… I won’t cause you trouble again. You’ll never even notice I’m here. I feel them, Doctor. I feel them forgetting me one by one, and every moment I feel weaker. I don’t want to go back to the Void.”

The Doctor smiled coldly. “Oh, I did explain to you that you wouldn’t be returning to the Void. You seem to go in and out of there like you had a cat flap installed. I won’t make the mistake Jack did by sending you back.”

“Then you’ll let me go?”

“Well, no, I didn’t say that either. You’ll get more than you deserve, and less than you’d like.”

The Doctor started to turn and Parker added hurriedly, “I can help you, Doctor. If you help me – it can be a fair trade.”

He didn’t believe Parker, but he found himself curious as to what the alien might offer in his desperation.

“You’re missing memories, Doctor. I can feel them. They form a hole in your mind, but I could find them for you. I could help you remember what you’ve lost. You’re not used to being the one in the dark, but I can fix that.”

The Doctor scowled. “You’re asking the wrong man, Parker. My brain could be swiss cheese and I wouldn’t let you near it. You lost the right to negotiate the moment you fired that gun at Rose.” 

He quickly exited the room before Parker could try to push harder. It disturbed him that even with his considerable mental defenses, Parker had still been able to detect the hole in his memories. The Doctor wandered down to the library and settled himself on the couch, staring into the blazing fireplace. Like a loose tooth, he found himself probing the hole, unable to leave it alone.

The gap in his recollection had been there for this entire trip, and he wasn’t sure how much earlier it had been formed. But it covered a fairly wide span of his memories, starting in his 11th incarnation and continuing until quite recently. He knew there had been someone who traveled with him. Why couldn’t he remember them? Why couldn’t he- wait.

He turned and looked at the chair next to him. Sitting in it, summoned by his thoughts, was the brunette he had been chatting with. _Of course._ If he hadn’t realized she was linked to the hole before now, it was because his mind had continued to protect him after the memories were removed. Trying to remember with those neural pathways so neatly excised could have caused him some trauma. But now he felt connections being made, and his mind slowly healing, the paths reforming neatly around the gap.

The Doctor stared at the brunette in the chair.

“You’re Clara,” he said slowly. “The man in the desert said your name was Clara.”

She shook her head. “I’m not, Doctor. I’m just the bits and pieces of Clara left in your memory. You don’t remember the exact moments with her. You said ‘When something goes missing, you can always recreate it by the hole it left.’ Have you ever looked out a cave mouth and the hole in the rocks seems to form a shape – a face? You have an impression of who I was and what I meant to you from that hole in your mind.”

The Doctor nodded. “You must have been important to me. I went through a lot, even by my standards. It had something to do with you.”

“Yes. I’m afraid you did quite a lot for me.”

The Doctor frowned. “Why?”

“I don’t know. Because you’re a good person? Because I cared about you? Or perhaps because I questioned you. I didn’t always think of you as a hero. But I still cared.”

The Doctor rubbed his eyes, worn with fatigue. “I don’t want to go through that again. Whatever led to… this.” He tapped his head. “Billions of years of reliving the same day, and in the end, I can’t even really remember you.”

“I wouldn’t suggest it either. I’ve had days I don’t want to relive even once. Any reason you’re concerned about that happening again?”

“I can’t take Rose with me.”

He had the distinct impression the brunette rolled her eyes, though he couldn’t see them. “Oh. That’s who this is about. Of course. Do you ever think about anyone else, Doctor?”

“I lost you, Clara. Somehow. Despite all the things I tried. I don’t even really know what happened to you. I could lose Rose like that too… or in some other fashion. Traveling with me, there are a billion ways she could die, be left behind, or be erased entirely.”

“You sound like you’re trying to convince yourself.”

“Of course I’m trying to convince myself!” the Doctor snapped. “Do you think I _want_ to leave her behind? I’ve spent entirely too long convincing myself that I could live without her, and now that I’ve seen her again, I can’t seem to remember how I managed to do that. But I can relearn. I don’t have another choice. Not while I look at you, Clara… I can’t even see you, not really. At least I have my memories of Rose. I can close my eyes, and see her as clearly as the day we met.”

“I do miss you, Doctor.”

“How can you? You’re not really you.”

“In a way, I am. I’m a bunch of scattered neurons firing in your brain with whatever is left of what you remember of me. And those neurons are telling you that whatever happened to Clara, she’s sorry she lost you. And she’d want you to be happy. I don’t think you’ll be happy alone, Doctor.”

“Being happy is overrated. You humans are always talking about being happy, but no one ever just walks around all the time with a huge grin on their face, do they? Sometimes it’s enough to get through your day and know it could have been much worse.”

“Remind me to put that on a motivational poster.”

* * *

Rose stood and stretched. That was it, the last of the agents were mindwiped. She’d removed Parker’s files from the Torchwood systems and any cases he had worked on. She had also hacked the management company that had rented his apartment to him, and Torchwood agents had removed any potentially identifying items from his apartment and sent them to the incinerator. One unfortunate agent had spotted Parker’s name on a piece of mail and had his mind wiped a second time. He was a bit addled afterward, and she reassigned him to desk duty for a while. Rose finally felt confident that there was no trace of Parker left in this world. She did feel bad for the agents, though. They were missing all sorts of details from the last few weeks. She hoped none of them had important life events during that time.

Pete had returned long enough to tell her that the civilians had been taken care of. She could tell it was killing him not to remember what had happened, but he realized that it was better for him not to recall. 

“Where’s the Doctor, sweetheart?” he asked her, as he packed up his briefcase and got ready to leave for the night.

“Um, back in the TARDIS. He was fixing… the machine that will let him go back to the other universe and close the hole.”

Pete looked meaningfully at her. “You’ll talk to us before you make any… life-changing decisions?”

Rose sighed. “Yeah. ‘Course I will. Only we haven’t even discussed anything… life-changin’.”

Pete had nodded, given her a hug, and headed home.

As she rode the the Tube back to her flat, Rose realized the time had come to try to talk to the Doctor about his departure. _Old habits die hard, though._ She found herself stepping off the train a stop early so she could pick up some Chinese on the way home. _No, not delaying at all. Have to eat, right?_

All too soon, she had her food packed in a bag, and walked the remaining several blocks to her flat. When she entered, it was quiet, and for a moment, a lump of fear formed in her throat. She hurried into the spare room. The TARDIS was still there, and she found her shoulders sagging with relief. 

Rose took a deep breath and steeled her resolve. Time was ticking away, and there wasn’t much left, even with a Time Lord involved. She unclasped her necklace with its TARDIS key, unlocked the door, and walked into the control room. When she couldn’t find the Doctor there, she wandered until she came across the open door to the library. 

Inside, the Doctor was standing behind the couch, making notes on a blackboard. It seemed to be covered with unfathomable equations and diagrams. The dimensional hole punch looked fully assembled, and was lying on a table next to the blackboard. Just looking at it caused a flurry of butterflies to assault her stomach. Even though he hadn’t turned around, she knew that he was aware of her presence.

“I, um, brought some Chinese.” 

He looked up with a smile. “Wonderful! Solving improbable mathematical dilemmas always leaves me hungry.” He dropped the chalk, and walked over to the couch. Setting the food down on the coffee table, she started unpacking it. Soon they were leaning back on the couch, side by side, eating out of the cartons with cheap wooden chopsticks.

Rose felt content. This was what she had missed the most after her husband had died. The relaxed ease of two close companions. The Doctor was babbling at her about formulas and how the planets had changed in this universe, and she found herself just nodding along and letting him talk. She tried to calm her jangling nerves. 

When the meal was finished, the Doctor tossed her one of the fortune cookies. “You first. What does yours say?” he asked.

She looked down at her fortune. _Never give up on someone that you don’t go a day without thinking about._ “Um, If hungry, buy more Chinese food,” she lied. “Yeah right, I think they’re a bit biased. What about you?”

The Doctor looked down at his fortune. _You already know the answer to the questions lingering inside your head._ He casually crumpled it in his hand and tucked it in his pocket. “Same thing. Better pick a new restaurant, these are rubbish.”

He stood and stretched, then walked back to the blackboard and started making more notes on it. Rose picked up the cartons and tossed them into the bag. When everything was clean, and there was nothing more to be done, she stood and watched him. He seemed completely unconcerned as he continued to work on the blackboard. She bit her lower lip. _Better get it over with._

Rose took a deep breath. “All right, Doctor, we’ve been dancin’ around this for days. And I woke up this morning, an’ I realized, we’ve fallen into the same old pattern we always end up in. We save the universe, have a great time, we run, an’ we eat chips. Or Chinese. But we never talk about the elephant in the room.”

The Doctor looked up at her from the blackboard. “Have you ever thought that maybe it doesn’t improve the elephant’s situation, acknowledging it? That after you’ve gone out of your way to inform everyone of the elephant’s presence, in the end it’s still stuck in the room without so much as a peanut to eat and it doesn’t care if we’ve noticed or not?”

Rose scowled and folded her arms, staring at him silently.

The Doctor threw up his hands and looked upward. “Oh right, and now we have the pout and the eyes. What did you do, have lasers installed in them at Torchwood?” He put down the piece of chalk and brushed off his hands. “So tell me about this elephant. African or Asian?”

“What?”

“The elephant. If we have to talk about it, better know what we’re dealing with.”

Rose rolled her eyes and sighed. It seemed he was going to make her do all the hard lifting in this conversation; she hadn’t really expected more from him. “Am I coming with you… when you go back?”

The Doctor looked at her for a moment. She thought she saw him wince, but it was so fast, she wasn’t sure.

“No.”

His answer felt like a physical slap. She knew going in that if she had to confront him, the news probably wasn’t what she wanted to hear. The alternative, though, would be knowing for the rest of her life that she hadn’t had the guts to ask.

“Why not?”

“Rose, I’m older now… Over twice as old as when we first met. I wanted your company so badly back then that I was willing to risk your life for it. Do you remember what I said when we were locked in the cabinet room, hiding from the Slitheen?”

“You said… ‘I could save the world, but lose you.’” Rose’s voice was a whisper.

“Right. And then I launched a missile directly at us. As it happened, I didn’t lose you. But I could have, then or dozens of other times. I’ve lost… others since then. I don’t want you to have the same fate. Stay here, Rose. Live a good life with your friends and family. Don’t sacrifice yourself on my mad quixotic quests.”

“Doctor, I work for Torchwood. I know it’s not quite the same scale as what you do, but we still have plenty of agents who wind up hurt, and sometimes dead! I left London because I didn’t want to have a life workin’ in a shop, eating beans on toast. And we’ve gone on so many adventures already. Why are you trying to protect me now?”

“Because every day, Rose, I feel a burden of everything I have seen and done during the last two thousand years. Everything in our universe is flawed. I am flawed. But if I can hang on to just one, single, perfect thing in the world, then I know everything else will have been worth it. Every sacrifice, every death, every pyrrhic victory, every effort made in vain will have meaning because somewhere, somewhen, you are alive, Rose Tyler, with a smile on your face. Please, just stay here. Stay alive, at least in my memories.”

She looked at the ground and frowned, turning his words over in her head.

At last, she looked back up at him. “I’m sorry. I can’t be that for you. I’m not… whatever that perfect person is. I’m not just a memory. I’m not a statue on a pedestal or a moment frozen in time. I have good days and bad days. Sometimes I make the wrong decision and I make a right mess of my life. I don’t always have a smile on my face, and there are nights when I cry myself to sleep. I’m flawed too, Doctor. But I guess I believe… I hope… that together, exploring time and space, we make both of our lives a little more perfect.”

His face was neutral, his expression perfectly masked. “And what do you do, Rose, if you’re wrong? Cut off from your family and friends, your ‘happily ever after’ just as flawed as the two of us?”

“I promised you forever, Doctor. I didn’t mean ‘forever, as long as things are exactly the way I’d like them to be.’”

His voice was quiet. “You know I wouldn’t hold you to that. I’m a different man. It wouldn’t be fair.”

“I know. But the part of me that made that promise is still here, Doctor, and I still want to keep it.”

The Doctor stared at her silently for a moment, an inner struggle plainly visible on his face. Then suddenly, he closed the space between them, as though the will to keep apart from her had crumbled under her words. He stood inches away, his steel blue eyes looking down at her from under his shaggy eyebrows. Rose shivered under his intense gaze.

“Doctor-“

She never finished her thought; he interrupted her with a kiss, his lips pressingly hungrily against hers, his hands cupping her face. Rose froze for a moment with astonishment, then closed her eyes and returned the kiss with a passion that surprised her. It was anxious and eager, as though after waiting so long, there was not a single second to be lost. He slid his arms around her and held her tightly to him; her hand moved up to caress the soft curls of his hair. Everything else around them faded away until all that was left was every moment of love and need they had ever felt for each other, expressed in a single transcendent act.

Rose wasn’t sure how long their embrace had lasted. It felt like hours, but must have been less than a minute. Then abruptly he tore himself away from her, fighting himself to do so. The connection was abruptly ended, as though a door had been slammed shut. His departure left a breathless void in her chest.

“Be packed and ready to go tomorrow,” he said. His voice was ragged, barely more than a growl. Without a further word, he turned and fled the library. The door silently closed behind him.

* * *

Rose stared at the half-filled suitcase on her bed. She had slept restlessly that night, her mind constantly turning over the events of the day. It still astonished her that the Doctor had kissed her. Even though she thought of her husband as the same person, there had been one critical difference. Her husband was able to openly express his love, while she had come to accept that the Doctor could only show it as a subtle undercurrent to their daily lives. The idea that he had crossed that line left her wondering whether she was mistaken. Maybe he could change more than his face.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the front door. Rose walked to it, readying herself. She had called her family last night and told them they had to come by in the morning, but she hadn’t said why. As soon as she saw Jackie’s face, she realized her mother already knew.

Jackie and Pete walked into the flat quietly, Tony trailed behind them curiously. He didn’t have the same subdued look that her parents did, and Rose felt guilty that this was likely to take him by surprise. 

“Hi, thanks for coming over so quick. Want some tea?” Rose asked, not really sure how to begin.

Jackie nodded. “Full kettle, we’ll need more than a cuppa to get through this, I suspect.”

Tony looked a little confused and went to sit with his dad on the couch, while Rose and her mum bustled about the kitchen. Jackie was uncharacteristically silent. Soon a pot had brewed, cups were out and a little pitcher for cream that Rose had found lurking in the back of a cupboard. She sat down in a chair facing them and took a sip. Jackie was avoiding her eyes, and Pete looked concerned and sympathetic.

“Mum, Dad… I… I needed to tell you that I’m leavin’. The Doctor asked me to go with him-“ 

Before she could continue, Jackie let out a loud snort. “Well, what did I tell you? You never could see that man only had eyes for you. Not likely he was going to fly out of here without asking.”

Tony frowned. “But- the Doctor’s dead… isn’t he? Rose?” Her brother looked more worried and upset than she’d seen him since the days after her husband died. She got up and crouched to give him a hug.

“Oh, Ton', he did die. But I never told you the whole story, about the Doctor and I. It’s long, and complicated, and I’m sure Mum and Dad will be able to answer all your questions after I’ve left. But it was sort of like he was split into two people before you met him, only both halves were the same.”

“Mitosis,” her brother answered.

“What?”

“Mitosis. We learned a bit about it in class… a cell splits in two, only the new cells are the same.” He was nodding to himself, and Rose found herself astonished for the second time in 24 hours. She’d never thought of her brother as being interested in school. It seemed he’d picked up more than she had thought.

“Um, yeah. Yeah, that sounds about right. So it was like that. They were kind of the same person, but once they split, they had different lives. An’ one of them lived here and we were married. The other one, well, he was in another world… kind of like ours, but different.” Years ago, Jackie and Pete had discussed with her the idea of keeping their past quiet until Tony was older. She was starting to regret that decision. He didn’t even know that Pete wasn’t exactly her dad. _It’ll be years of therapy for him to work all this out. Sorry, Tony._ She noticed her mum and dad were just sitting quietly, letting Tony talk with her unhindered.

Tony looked more upset now. Not sad, yet, but confused, and a little angry. “So the Doctor you’re leaving with… he won’t remember me, will he? And he won’t remember being married to you either? I mean, he’s the same person, but my Doctor… our Doctor, he’s still dead, isn’t he? Why would you leave with this Doctor then?” 

“Well, I had a history with the Doctor, before he split. And we helped a lot of people. It was sort of like our job. I miss that, Tony, and I miss him too.” Tony closed his eyes for a moment and Rose gave him another hug.

The door to the spare room flew open, and the Doctor strode out. He was wearing a holey black shirt, a black hoodie and a dark blue coat. A pair of black sunglasses covered his eyes. 

“Rose, did I leave a guitar pick- Oh. Hello, Tylers.” The Doctor slowly slid off his sunglasses and pocketed them. He looked around awkwardly.

Tony reacted first. “That’s not the Doctor! Who’s this then? The bloke from the party?”

Rose put her hand on Tony’s arm. “No, Ton', that’s the Doctor. He… well, he changes his face once in a while. Instead of dyin’, he-“

“Then why did our Doctor have to die?” Tony was loud and openly tearing up now. “I don’t believe it! This guy doesn’t even act like him!”

The Doctor exhaled noisily and started slowly backing away toward the spare room door.

Jackie glanced at her distraught son and got up suddenly, striding toward the Doctor. “Made up your mind then, did you?” she demanded.

The Doctor looked down Jackie. “Well, it wasn’t so simple-“

She interrupted him with a slap that sounded like a whip crack in the crowded room. “That’s for takin’ her away from me!”

Jackie leaned forward and gave the Doctor a tight hug. He kept his arms down at his sides and looked desperately at Rose. “And that’s for not taking her earlier.” She let him go and looked up at him.

The Doctor rubbed his face. “Well, that’s not a mixed message at all, is it? Good to see you’ve thought things through with your usual thoroughness.”

“Oh, shut it. I lost Rose the day that Henrik’s blew up. I sat at home alone and waited while my daughter changed into someone I didn’t know anymore. And then I got a second chance, Doctor. A second life with my Pete, and a son, and several years to watch my daughter grow up into a woman I was proud of. I always knew you’d come back for Rose. But now I’ve got more memories to hold onto, an’ I don’t have to wonder what kind of person she’ll become – because I already know.”

The Doctor cleared his throat. “Well, I-“

Rose interrupted him by flinging herself at Jackie. The two gave each other a hug, and Jackie looked up at Rose with tears in her eyes. “I know you’re going to have a great life out there, and I’ll miss you.”

The Doctor looked at the two of them and frowned. “It won’t-“  
Once again, he was interrupted as Pete slapped a hand on the Doctor’s shoulder.

“She’s- well, she’s my daughter. I want her to stay, but I know she won’t. So take care of her.” Pete turned to give Rose a hug.

“Well, of course, but-“

Tony looked baffled and walked over to the group. “Wait, but- you’re just travelling with him. You’ll be back, though, Rose, yeah? For holidays and the like?”

Rose looked at him and held his hand in hers. “We’ll be crossing over to the other world. It’s dangerous, leavin’ holes like that between the universes. It’ll be sealed off… for good this time. I can’t come back, an’ you won’t see me again, ever. I’m so, so sorry.” Her eyes were filled with tears as she glanced anxiously among her family members. “I’ll miss you all so much. An’ you have to know… nothing else would take me away from you. But every minute since my Doctor died, I’ve felt like I’ve nowhere else I want to go in this world. I love you.” Rose burst into tears, and she wiped them away, smearing her mascara lightly.

The Doctor raised his hand, and opened his mouth to speak. 

“We love you too, sweetheart!” Jackie began to pull Rose into another hug.

“Will you all just SHUT- SHUT UP for a minute!” the Doctor yelled at last. The Tyler family froze and stared at the Doctor, shocked. “The Prime Minister couldn’t get a word in edgewise with you lot.”

“What’s a Prime Minister?” Tony asked, before closing his mouth again at a glare from the Doctor.

“If I could _finish_ what I was saying… your husband left a gift for you, Rose. On that computer of his. I unlocked it later, after you gave me the locket. As I’d guessed, the locket contained a telepathic pulse that contained several pieces of information critical to deciphering the password lock he’d put on his file. Very clever that. Just the sort of brilliant thing I’d come up with.”

Rose rolled her eyes. “Doctor, can you get on with it?”

“Oh, _now_ you’re in a hurry. By all means, go back to the sobbing and hugging.” Rose glared at him. “Right, the laser eyes. Look, when your husband was dying, he knew he didn’t have the means to cure his condition in time. But he did stay up at night working on a project to save you, Rose.”

“Save me? I wasn’t the one dyin’.”

“Well, no. But he was understandably concerned about the effect his death would have on you. He wanted me to come back and find you, Rose. His last wish was that you not be left… without either of us.”

“Oh.” Rose started to tear up again. When she and her husband had first been left in this world, she remembered how he had struggled initially, strangely jealous of her love for his other self. “He wanted to reach you… just to help me get along after he was gone?”

The Doctor nodded. “He worked out that there were tiny fluctuations in the walls between the worlds. Not large enough to travel through, but if mapped correctly, and if you knew where you were trying to reach, you could potentially communicate between the two places. At least, that’s how he was attempting to send me a message. Only he failed.”

Rose frowned. “So that’s it then, that’s what you wanted to tell us? My husband wanted to help me, and he worked really hard, but it didn’t work out?”

The Doctor chuckled. “You’re forgetting again, Rose. I _am_ him as much as he is me. He didn’t quite finish the technology, but he left me all of his notes, and given a year or so, I can finish it.” The Doctor looked around expectantly, smiling. The Tyler family stared back at him blankly. "Oh, come on!" the Doctor snapped. "Surely one of you can manage to sort it out!"

Pete began to nod to himself. “Okay, so you can send messages to the other world?” The Doctor nodded. “Then… you’d be able to send us messages. Even if you couldn’t come back, you could still check in now and then? We’d still see Rose?”

The Doctor grinned, showing all his teeth. “And I wouldn’t even have to burn up a sun to do it this time!” 

Suddenly, Jackie lunged forward and hugged the Doctor again, tears in her eyes. “I was prepared to say goodbye to my little girl, but I’m glad I don’t have to!” Laughing at the Doctor’s expression, Rose let her mom cling to him for several seconds just to watch him squirm before she helped pry her loose.

She realized she felt about a hundred pounds lighter. Rose had been willing to leave her family behind to return to a life in the stars, but it was an enormous relief to know that she would be able to talk to them. And who knows? Perhaps she would see them again. The Doctor had said that once upon a time, it was easy to cross into other worlds.

Rose returned to her bedroom to get her bag. This time, looking at it, she realized she only needed the files from her computer she chose to bring along. All the photos and videos she owned, some letters. Memories. Only a few other things mattered. Some favorite clothes and miscellaneous items she’d miss. Jewelry. All of the gifts her husband had ever given her. She looked at the bag with satisfaction. That was it, 10 and a half years of her life in this world, packed into one suitcase. Snap. She closed and locked the bag, and took a final look around the room she had shared for all those wonderful years with her husband. Her eyes lingered on his suits, still hanging in the closet.

_I ought to think myself lucky. I sort of have him back. Sort of. Not many widows get a second chance with their husband._

She smiled, wiped the tears away before they could fully form, and carried her suitcase back to the living room. Her family was waiting, and seemed to have just finished speaking with the Doctor. He looked relieved that she had returned.

It was time for final goodbyes. She set down her suitcase and Pete stepped forward and pulled her into a tight hug.

“Thank you,” he told her. “I never knew how much I needed a daughter till I met you. I’ll miss you, love. Call your mum as soon as you get the communications device working. You know she’ll worry.” He kissed her on the forehead and stepped away.

Rose walked over to Tony, who was staring at the ground, at the walls, at anything but her. 

“C’mere, you,” she said and hugged him. He hugged her back, and looked like he was about to cry. “I’ll miss you. But I’ll tell you about all my adventures travelin’. Don’t make Mum and Dad crazy.” She leaned forward and whispered in his ear. “They’ll really need you. Even more, now. Remember that.”

She stepped back and Tony looked at her. His face seemed pale and serious. “I’m going to find you again. Not sure how, yet, but I’ll do it.”

Rose nodded. “I believe you, Ton'.”

The last and hardest goodbye had come. Rose hugged her mum tight, never wanting to let go. There were so many years she had imagined leaving this world, both before and after her husband, and yet now that the time had come, the idea of leaving her mother behind felt impossible. She began to cry again, and she could feel Jackie was crying as well.

At last, they separated. Jackie looked at her seriously. “You take care, sweetheart. Always remember where you came from. Don’t be lettin’ your new lifestyle give you airs and graces. You remember your family.”

“’Course mum, always.” Rose nodded, her eyes blurred with tears. “I love you, Mum.”

“I love you too, Rose.” Jackie gave her a brave smile, then turned and glared at the Doctor. “An’ you, take care of her… and yourself. Don’t you forget that in that other world, you’re her family. That’s a real responsibility. No swanning off and leaving her on some planet somewhere, just because you’ve a world to save or your face changes.”

The Doctor nodded to Jackie, his expression neutral. As the family gave their last hugs, he leaned in to Jackie’s ear and whispered, so faintly she wasn’t sure she heard right, “Thank you.”

Then it was time to go, and there was nothing further that Rose could think of to extend this final moment. She turned and smiled sadly at her family, one last time. Picking up her suitcase, she followed the Doctor into the TARDIS, the doors closing behind her.

As she stepped inside, he slipped his hand into hers. Rose looked down at their hands, joined together so naturally. She looked up, and found him looking at her steadily. Suddenly, all of her last misgivings and uncertainty slipped away. Things were finally as they should be. It wasn’t clear where they would go, or what they would do. So many questions still existed about where they stood with each other. They were together, though, and all of time and space awaited them once more. That’s exactly where Rose Tyler wanted to be. From the Doctor’s expression, they were in perfect accord.


	21. Chapter 21

The trip through the anomaly had been rougher than before, and that pleased the Doctor. The walls were strengthening again, now that there was just the one small hole left. Once they were through, he activated the dimensional hole punch and sealed the remaining hole. Then he took the device and stowed it in one of the TARDIS’s many storerooms, just behind several aerosol cans of Nitro-9 and a case of Promethean Everlasting Matches. He nodded in satisfaction, and switched off the light, hoping it would remain in darkness a long time.

Rose was not in the console room when he returned. He suspected she was unpacking. The thought made him feel warm, and surprisingly content. Occasionally, his thoughts touched upon the night before, and the kiss they had shared. The memory both took his breath away, and disturbed him. Despite the fear he still held of something happening to her, he couldn’t help but return to that moment in the library in his mind again and again. What he really needed was a distraction – wait, he had a prisoner to dispose of! Yes, that would do excellently.

He knew exactly where he intended to take Parker, but he had a quick stop to make first. Tapping in the destination, he yanked the lever and the TARDIS resumed its familiar wheeze. It felt good to be back in his universe.

* * *

When Rose returned to the console room, she was slightly surprised to see a tree sitting on the floor, its base encased in a silver bag that was presumably full of soil. Clusters of large, dark fruit hung from its branches.

“Um, right, we redecorating now?” she asked.

The Doctor looked up and smiled slightly. “It’s a gift.”

“’Course. Thanks…? What sort of tree is it?”

“It isn’t a gift for you.”

“Oh.” She paused, waiting for a further explanation.

The Doctor fiddled with the console, and she quickly grabbed a railing as the TARDIS lurched as it materialized. He looked back up to find her staring at him expectantly. “It’s for Parker.”

Without further explanation, he opened the door to the TARDIS, then returned for the tree. With Rose’s help, he was able to shove it out of the console room and onto the ground of the planet outside. It definitely wasn’t Earth. The twin moons visible in the sky, even during the day, told her that.

Rose looked around her, taking a moment to breathe in the foreign air. It felt, for lack of a better word, _empty_. There were broad plains of a short, pale yellow grass all around them. The horizon was flat and even. It seemed like there was nothing – or no one - here.

“Doctor, where are we?”

“A planet called Merabell Prime. Five light centures from the Magellanic Clouds.”

“Righ’. Yeah. And we’re here because…?”

“This is going to be Parker’s new home.”

Rose frowned, and the Doctor turned and walked back into the TARDIS. Several minutes later, he re-emerged, with Parker walking in front of him, his hands cuffed together by some sort of glistening rope. The Doctor was carrying a dark bag; he dropped it near the tree.

The Doctor nudged him out and turned to Rose. “You can go back inside if you’d like. Might be a bit more comfortable.”

Rose realized that he didn’t want her to witness Parker’s fate. Perhaps he feared she would think poorly of him. She felt responsible for the former agent, though, even after all he had done. After all, she had been part of the process of catching him and bringing him here. Besides, she strongly suspected he was treating Parker a lot more nicely than he would have liked.

She stood up a little straighter. “Nah, that’s all right. I’m okay here.”

The Doctor frowned, and then turned back to his captive. “This is where you get off, Parker.”

Parker looked around quickly, trying to grasp his surroundings. “Where are we?”

“Does it matter? Let’s call it New Kansas. There are several things you do need to know. First, there are no inhabitants of New Kansas. No one’s memories can be changed, no one to be manipulated. Well, there are some insect species, but they’re not likely to be sentient for millennia. Second, New Kansas has breathable air and potable water, but that’s it. There aren’t enough edible insects to sustain a life.”

Parker looked nervous. “You’re going to let me starve? Why not just kill me while you’re at it?”

The Doctor smiled, cold and indifferent. “Starve? No. That would be simple. I’m giving you a present, Parker. Do you see this tree, here? It’s got a long scientific name that I won’t bore you with, but its nickname is the Eden tree. The fruit on it is amazing. And for a human body, which you’ve got now, the fruit contains every nutrient you need to live a long and healthy life. Its bark can be used for clothing. Look, I’ve even included a bag of gardening tools.”

Parker looked relieved. 

The Doctor smiled more broadly, like a cat that had just caught a mouse. Rose found herself growing uncomfortable, but refused to allow herself the escape of returning to the TARDIS.

“Now these trees really ought to be popular, grown on every planet inhabited by humans. Except they have one little problem. The Eden tree is very, very particular. It gets sick easily, needs different types of soil added for nutrients, its branches trimmed in just the right way, and really, it’s not too happy with inclement weather. There are monks, you know, who devote their entire lives to just one tree. Now, you’re no monk, Parker…” The Doctor paused for a moment, then leaned in, his voice betraying the steel behind it. “But, if you don’t spend every moment of every day thinking about, inspecting, and attending to the needs of this tree… Well, I suppose that would be your only food source gone. What a shame that would be.”

Sweat beaded on Parker’s forehead. “Wait, Doctor…”

The Doctor grinned broadly, in an overly cheerful manner. “Goodbye, Parker. Enjoy your world.” He waved with a grin. Rose followed him back inside the TARDIS, and shut the door behind her. Moments later, the TARDIS disappeared. 

Parker looked around him, out at the empty landscape, devoid of any obvious landmark besides himself and the tree. His telepathic senses reached out and felt nothing. No sentient minds, anywhere. With a cool wind blowing, and miles of open land surrounding him, Parker found himself suffocating.


End file.
